"This young man," said the news anchor as he shuffled through his papers, "Leonidas Valdez, is the first male to ever be considered for the Selection. According to examiners, he was selected for his 'vibrant personality.'
"I was encouraged to read his personal statement at the urging of my producer. I wish to remind our audiences that the following opinions and statements are those of Leonidas Valdez and do not represent those of the news program." The anchor looked down, and his lips began to twitch.
"The first question was 'What is your name?' Mr. Valdez responded with, You can call me, 'My future husband', but Leo is fine, too. When you introduce me to new people, make sure to use the first one.
"The second question: 'What is your occupation, if any?' Being awesome is my full time job, but I also work as a mechanic at my mom's shop on weekends. You should stop by sometime, I can teach you about complex wiring when we aren't making out.
"To the third question, 'What are your hobbies and passions?' Leo said-" The anchor paused, coughing a few times before continuing, My hobbies include flirting with hot princes, eating chicken nuggets, and pissing people off. As for my passions, there is only one that matters- you.
"What is your fatal flaw? Perfection. I don't mean perfectionism, I literally am perfect.
"Do you have any special skills? When you're as hot as I am, everything comes naturally. I do, however, have a particular knack for annoying people. Never doubt my ability to annoy.
"In the space for final notes, Leo wrote, I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts.
The anchor's face was a delicate shade of tomato when he finally finished reading. The picture of Leo's face-- winking and blowing a kiss at the camera-- filled up the screen once more. The anchor started hacking before finally saying in a strained voice,
"That's all for our special Selection coverage, back to the weather desk for our daily report..."
The screen faded to black.
Leo looked at his mom nervously.
Esperanza's face was unnaturally smooth, completely lacking in emotion. She turned to Leo, causing him to gulp nervously.
Then she started laughing.
YOU ARE READING
The Selection: VALDEZ EDITION
FanfictionPrince Perseus has reached a marriageable age, and all throughout the land young maidens are invited to compete for his hand in the Selection. This elite competition is reserved for only the best, the most beautiful- DA FUQ? WHO IS THAT??? Enter our...
