My Second Chance

Chapter 12

SAVANNAH’s P.O.V.

The darkness is overtaking everything that is in this room. I feel like I can’t breathe but I need to try and fight. The look in his eyes are enough to send panic throughout my whole body. He grabs me by both my arms and slams me against the wall. My heart is beating hard and I feel like it might burst out of my chest. I close my eyes and hold back my tears. I can’t let him see me like this. I won’t.

“Look at me Savannah!” He yells. My eyes slowly open and my knees start to tremble, giving into the fear. “Look at me. I won’t let you go. You belong to me.” He has a crazed look now and I know he’s not going to let me go until he takes me.

“Garrett please. Let me go. This isn’t you.” I quietly sob shaking my head. This isn’t the boy I fell in love with. This isn’t the boy who claims that he loves me. But the way he’s been acting lately – I somehow knew that it would come to this. I always hoped that it wouldn’t but he’s made it obvious he’s tired of waiting for me. Waiting for me to give in to him. Like every naïve little girl, I always thought my first time would be ‘special’. They never tell you about the jerks that make the choice for you to take it away from you – like taking candy from a baby. The alcohol and the drugs has surely taken its toll on him – pushing him to take things further.

“Shut the fuck up!” He pushes me against the wall again and forces his lips onto mine. I try to push him away but he is too strong. The highly-flavored taste of vodka and beer linger on his tongue making me want to gag. He presses against me and I feel him grow hard. I’m smart enough to know what’s down there. He takes my hand and makes me grab onto him over his jeans. He moans and I feel disgusted with myself. Tears form in my eyes but I’m taken aback when I feel immense pain land on my left cheek and my body falls to the floor.

“Get up.” His words are slurring and I am honestly more afraid now.”Get up Savannah!” He’s going to rape me and no one can save me. I should have stayed home. It was a bad idea to come out tonight knowing he was under the influence. I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I listen to mom and dad. It’s my fault - that’s just me being me. There’s no one else to blame but myself.

He screams at me again and pulls me up by my hair, throwing me on the bed. I shift to the corner and he laughs. He stands there unbuckling his belt and pulls me to the edge near him by my ankles. He lowers his body onto mine and I feel his hands go up my skirt, pulling the waistband of my panties down. My hands are weak, still trying to push him away. He grabs them both by one hand, strongly lifting them above my head. My wrists are hurting and his other hand proceeds to grab at my thigh, squeezing it severely. He goes further reaching under my skirt, my tears completely unstoppable.

“Garrett don’t! Please!” His breath is hot, fingers in between me – violently rubbing over my core. I beg him to stop but he continues. I’m wet and he looks satisfied with it and ensues pulling out his manhood. I gasp, not prepared for what comes next.

I shut my eyes close. “I’m going to fuck you tonight and you’re going to love it. So stop fighting it and let me get it over with. You won’t feel a thing…” He whispers into my ear.

“No, no, no, no, no…Garret please! Don’t!” He doesn’t pay attention to my pleas and thrusts himself into me over and over and over again – forever taking away the one thing I could never ever take back.

I jolt awake from my deep sleep, sweat covering my forehead. The tears follow the realization that it was just a dream…no. It was a nightmare. My own personal living hell.  It seemed so real, it always does. I grab my phone off the nightstand near my bed. It’s only four in the morning. I pull my head into my knees and shake my head as if to erase the nightmare I just relived. I know it won’t go away but if only for a few minutes. I don’t dare go back to sleep so I sit there until I decide to take a shower and get ready for work. These are the days I wish I was dead.