Retrograde [Completed]

Part 36

Just a few more of these left my loves. If you see typos pretend you did not! 💖

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"How do I tell him that I can't have kids? I mean he lost Jack when he was young. I know he wants another shot. What if he doesn't love me anymore?" You're pacing in your mother's living room.

"Angel, sit down." Your mom's soft voice is an instant soother. You sit across from her; next to Rossi. They were the first people outside of Sidney that you had told. You were trying to figure how to tell Hotch that you can't have kids.

"Just take some deep breaths Aisha." Rossi adds, grabbing your hand to comfort you.

"He loves you." Your mom says simply. And it should be that simple right? Simple enough that no matter what Hotch loves you and that that means the two of you would always figure it out. It didn't feel like that right now. You felt helpless and hopeless.

" I don't want to disappoint him."

"Aisha, it's not a disappointment. Baring children shouldn't be an expectation. There's nothing wrong with you, you're the same person you've always been." Rossi reasons, and while his words make sense they don't ease your pain or disappointment.

"But we'd just talk about it...about wanting our own kid. And now we can't even..." Your hands are in your head.

"Come here, honey." Your mom pats her lap. You get up, and set your head in her lap and she strokes your hair. "Everything will work itself out."

Rossi has moved his chair close, taking one of your hands in his. "Aaron's a good man. You have nothing to worry about."

You close your eyes and try to push all the negative thoughts out of your brain, attempting to replace them with hope. After everything that you and Hotch had been through you hoped they were right.

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You spent the night at your mother's house, wanting to feel like you were in the safest space possible. Your phone is ringing, pulling you out of your sleep. It was just on the cusp of a nightmare, darkness about to swirl with your happy thoughts. You're grateful for whoever is calling you, they stopped it.

"Hello?" You mumble sleepily.

"Aisha, honey, Aaron's here." Your mothers sweet voice is on the end. You instantly sit up in your bed, nerves on edge.

"Right now?"

"Yes." She says dryly.

"It's literally 8:30."

"Aisha." Your mother scolds gently.

"Okay tell him I'll meet him downstairs in a minute." You hang up and lay back down into the bed. Turning over you scream into the pillow. You thought'd you'd have until the afternoon, but here he was.

You didn't want to have this conversation here with your mom and her caretaker listening. You didn't know how this was going so you were hoping he'd want to take a drive instead of stay here. You dress quickly and look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was wild and slightly curly, your matching sweatsuit disheveled. You looked as bad as you felt. You give a half assed attempt at your hair, smoothing it back into a bun before you make your way to the foyer.

Your mother is being wheeled away by her caretaker Sarah as you enter. Hotch looks just as bad as you do, his eyes wild and tired, his hair completely disheveled. As soon as his eyes are on you, they assess quickly, sweeping over you multiple times. He's moving towards you and then his hands are all over you, making sure you okay.

"Hi, baby." He pulls you into a hug, one arm around your waist, his other hand coming to rest at the nape of your neck.

"Hi." You say softly, trying to push back the tears that are already burning your eyes. "How'd you know I was here?"