Where I Lost There I Found

Chapter 3

We walked towards a beautiful sea, some beautiful dolphins jumped . I was mesmerized. He was staring at me he was speaking nothing. He keeps looking and I just don't know why. His looks skipped a beat of my heart. Like in dramas the hero looking at the heroine and then he gets close and kisses her. All this was running within my brain. But the truth was nothing like that was going to happen. I really felt that I should control the level of watching such things because I am getting freaking nuts. Crazy me.

He smiled again. I was terrified " is he able to read my mind?" He said yes. Oh! My god ... I was totally felt embarrassed. I felt like tearing land into two and getting drowned into it. "I am sorry I did not meant to be a jerk .." he walked close to me, pulled me close to him, my whole body was motionless like statue. Oh god what is he up to. Trying to hit me or what god lots of question, please don't hurt me I am sorry all these was within my brain. Heart was beating fast, time stopped. Breath was out of control. He laid his hands around my waist, staring deep into my eyes closing the left distance, his lips tasted mine. Whole time came to a pause. I closed my eye and felt everything. It was magical, a new feeling for me. His body was cold still his touch made a different feeling like flowers blooming through my heart. It was like intense feeling which I didn't wanted to stop.

My eyes were closed I was able see me fly with all my pains were set aside. I was being happiest than ever. But at that point of all the happiness was like the one which I had been looking all my life. Yet there were images and clips in my heart that I always was trying to run away from. His lips were like a different path to different world were truth was hiding. Before I could realize that it began. Oh my there was my first crush standing right in front. Where I was all set to confront my crush to him. But actually I didn't wanted to approach him, still I confronted it. His expression turned blue. At first it was tough to figure that one. But slowly by time all was clear. Time I realized fact of love is defined only by looks and cleverness not by heart. Though it is true that it exist for few from heart. When we think of love I mean true love. What actually we are searching for is the respect, care, concern, a person who can hold us close to them without judging us in anyway. Many agree to the fact not all the point I said would be right but few are true. Eventually the fact is not every time we get things we wish in our life. We get few sometimes. Taking about love is that, it is about needing lots of thing but more preferred is "will to understand", the power to hold by the side. As two souls of different concepts come together and accept the fact they love and then after few years it vanishes away. Then the first question arises if it had existed between the two then what broke them apart, they say their own cooked up reason. But the truth is they never hold they just accepted the fact what they thought has existed had never existed. Hmmm I know it is a little bit confusing or totally confusing.

To the answer of what actually love is we have to do great research over it. Now when I had my first rejection I was dishearten felt like I was broken. But the fact is I was not at all broken, it was all the effect of movies I saw. Actually I never loved that person I was all just attracted. You may think how did I realize that? Lets clear that or let me give a try to explain you. So it was like he was a new friend just like me, but a little more lost than me. He used to share his emotions, feeling of not able to define himself etc. I used to hear him out and used to help him to get out of his issues. Fun fact here was I was more in a loop than him. Slowly he got attracted and felt love. He expressed himself to me. If I was in love with my crush then I would have never took time to say yes to him. I nearly took a lot of time why? Was I not feeling anything for him. I never defined my answer to him, a fear was hiding within me. Still we were close to each other. With time I lost control over my emotions and I left one of the great friend I had. Though he was my crush but was also a great friend, his bond to me was not love but thread of great friendship. We misjudged ourselves, and what we are now left with nothing than a hatred for each other. Friendship was gone while we misjudged that minutes emotions as love. To gain him back I tried a lot but truth was, he was in search of person who could confront him at that stage. And maybe the way he wanted confrontment was replicated in me. So when he figured out that I was not right one to take care of him, he broke the friendship too. He never realized both of us were wrong but friendship was true. At that time too I couldn't find what is love. To define love there is no age, we have to just let it come to us at the right time. Don't hope all the feeling is love, some time it is just you need a friend than a pair to express your own self.

Oh my god! I am screwed, dawn I am still kissing him, gosh I got lost. I pray he wont think I am a jerk. I pulled back suddenly and stared towards the sky. Don't be embarrassed I now you got lost. Its absolutely fine. He was fine and not judgmental what a piece of art he is my god. Can you just tell me who you are? it is like walking with a total stranger and now kissing him in a flow for so long. How can I not be embarrassed? But I think reason for being embarrassed is not knowing me, its because you were into me for long without even thinking of stopping what going on between us. I think we should walk without wasting time. Oh god point he made, may be right. But he should think more in a thoughtful manner, because he has kissed a girl in dead world and not even ready to introduce himself. I would prefer at least a name.

I did not utter a word and started to walk.

Walking with him was easier and was more comfortable than usual. Kissing him has made little change I guess. Sounds crap but feels more like cheesy. Emotions were derived into a dead me. Hehe freaking good I feel.