Where I Lost There I Found

Chapter 2

                                                                   CHAPTER 2

A layer of transparent, shiny, membrane was in front of me. As I got closer it opened up. I turned and looked towards him, he came close to me and holded my hand and walked me across it, while crossing through it I was imagining who he was. His look, feeling that crossed my heart as he holded my hands. I got numb and skipped a beat. We entered into a place where nature was with new look. It was a dry desert. He said that whatever I see down here is the place I imagine in my mind. But at this point I was all in a loop. Why would I imagine a place like a desert? We kept walking ... but the desert wasn't hot. It was like a place where my heart was heavy and helpless. A set of tears shredded my eyes. He continued to walk holding my hands. That feeling I realized it, was feeling of being lost even when there was someone around me. It was tough to hold it to myself. Even after he was holding me, I was drowning deep into myself. Heart was bleeding. Pain was indefinable but at that place I remembered all the scares I never wished to see again. I was not able to predict it, I just wanted to get out of that place.

He said time comes when things aren't in track. At such stage it is better to express than carrying it to once own heart. Staying out or running out with those pain isn't answer to all the sufferings in once life. Sometimes me have to adjust it because at one point all will be come to end.

His words were like a motivational lecture given by someone. I couldn't agree to his point at this stage. Because all I knew was problems stay with us like a magnet. He was staring at me. In my mind I thought the person in such world... how can he know the pain etc... he gave a smile and we walked. Desert was long and tiring. It had turned night. He slowly withdrew his hand. Ohh.. I just gave a look. We sat down for few while. He could understand everything, even though I never expressed anything. Like his heart was connected to mine. He laid down and said rest for a while we have long way to go.

He closed his eyes. He looked peaceful throughout and is having restful sleep. All was different and heavy for me. I was staring towards the long desert in front of me. After few minutes stood up and started to walk. As I walked, I felt week and more helpless. Suddenly, then I turned back he wasn't there as if I had walked far away from him. I sat down feeling week and pale. Slowly land below me started to pull me down. It was like earth was sucking me in. I screamed but noise didn't come out.

I was drowning and nobody was there. Was it my destiny to sink down and end my life? Or just a hallucination which I have to break and move on? Every time many questions raised, he used to answer few but at this point he wasn't there. First, I tried to scream, but when I realized it was worthless. I closed my eyes and saw all the rights and wrongs of my past.

And I was going down, sands were running through my skin. I was feeling like small ants walking all through my body. Feeling of being stabbed under tones of clothes. Feelings were all gone now. I was all feeling unconscious. Lost everything down all by myself. When my eyes opened, he was standing right next to me. "did you save me?" "no" "then? how come you are here?" "I am one to guide you till the end of the journey, so when you were sinking, I was following you, ahead was a different journey if you would have tried to get out of the marshy sand, but you choose to drown now the journey is more different." "is this the tough one?" "see I can't tell you that, you have followed the path, changing your destiny is in your hand just keep walking". His answers were like mathematical equations tough to solve but time given then easy to understand. But if you ask me to give a feedback about him as a guide, I would say he is bit worse for such role.

Now the desert was all vanished nothing was looking like a desert. "This isn't looking like a desert, feels like below the marshy land lays a place, where all the illusions that human sees are buried here, it is true yet we haven't found any evidence of the statement I laid now!" he looked at me and gave smile. "So, mister guide are you all not allowed to speak like chit chat with the one you are guiding?" He looked at me and said... "Nothing like that I usually like to stay quiet than speaking much, this journey is your ideology which you choose and asked to design so ... at points chit chat would make no sense to you. Because you will be in a mess." As he was speaking, I was feeling more driven to him. But still his statements were like math's equations. Feels like he is loop that will be the toughest part of the journey to resolve. Oh! God... just don't be so harsh to others by blessing handsome but quiet man. He needs some more justice I guess. He turned and smiled again. Gosh its killing me. His smile....