Where I Lost There I Found

Chapter 4

"So what does a family mean to you?", he asked. For me family!!! The question I never wanted to answer to anyone. When we ask someone about family many say lot of things about it. But the same question we ask ourselves it lays a lot of different set question coming from within ourselves which are never reveled. It's a different feeling of answering without thoughtfully to others which is fifty true and other fifty a lie. But at time when we point ourselves and ask the same question to ourselves the answer is really different that arises within. Why? At times we just neglect that question. Again why?

I did not answer that question, but I asked him the same. He said a family is a world were you negotiate a page with some questions and answers are carved, where only one rule is laid we are together. It is never like a hell, it is a place where we all feel safe and comfortable. Place where at the end me like to go and settle. A warmth that we only feel near the ones we call family. Though there may be lot of scattered pieces we may complain about. But at last we may prefer to pick that one than a another one.

His answers were deep, but how much relevant it was for everyone is still a question to me. I really wanted something different from family but I received something else my tears sheded down my cold cheeks. I was standing in the shore and beautiful creatures made by someone, were swimming away. I moved close near the waves that came from seashore to experience, to let go the thought that just arrived. But it pulled me deep into it. I was dropped into a deep dark palace. It was silent. I knew the place, the place were I never wanted to go. But at time things aren't the way we want them to be, family was like a dream for me what I wished to feel I never got that. They gave me things I wanted and I was happy with that. But they failed to give me the emotional concern I was looking for. For me it was like wishing them to hold me, which I expressed in my way, and the joke was that they never understood that.

I have heard family understands you at least once, in my case I guess never did they get me. When I was telling him this he took me towards a tree. It was huge in size, it had green and dried leaves too. He said " do you see this tree? I looked and shook my head. This tree is like our family there are various types of leaves some are dry, some are infected, some are green, some are different but you see all are in one bark. They shed off the tree. They at times never grow, at times they may not reach the way you want but at the end they all are together however they might be. It not that all may be rude, there will be few who will understand you. Because you all are of one bark. All you need is to lay attention to every little thing. Even when a wound arrives down the tree it heals them down with its own pace. It may take longer or shorter time that doesn't matter because it will definitely find a way.

The way you think for them, will be the other members may think for you. Just find out and make up the wound all will be well. And you all can swing together even in a strong wind." His words made great meaning. " so I guess you love your family a lot.." " yeah I love them lot but at times things go up and down like a see-saw".

Walking with him was getting easier. But talking to him was more easy and flexible. His looks and smiles could make a girl fall for him easily. But his nature and sweetness of the talk made me feel more for him. " Do you really spend time with your family?" "What makes you think I don't?" " I don't know from how long we are walking together! In this way I guess you walk with many, as you said you are guide. So then do you even have any time left to spend with your family?" " No I don't walk with many like this, I have been made for only one special person." "So for per person there is one person defined? And who defines you all?" "I think we should keep moving than wasting our time." Oh! God this is what I don't like about him. Rude creature.

Well I don't understand what lays him so much attitude. Not defining himself. Can you at least give me the luck to know your name. Because I would prefer the name of man I kissed rather than thinking that I kissed a nameless.

Now that's interesting I guess to kiss a nameless. He said. It is gone be fun I guess. We were in new place. And I had no name to call him out. Hope now nothing goes wrong and all goes well. Otherwise I am not getting there. " See good and bad is in your hand, just walk in." I don't know what he is trying to say. Anyways lets see I am the strongest. He was a rude brat I feel. But the atmosphere was good. So I did not pay much care to what he said.

Feels like a beautiful song should be played and I hold him and dance all night. Yeah I know it sounds creepy but it is fine. Always defining everything is fine is not good I guess. And I know I said he is brat but the atmosphere was great and I had never danced like a couple one. We can dream such things nothing wrong in that. "Can you please get in", he laid it in form of a taunt I forget he can hear my silences. "Sure"