Rehearsals With You ✓

Chapter Seven: Named April

Did you want to hear the supposedly embarrassing story I had? No, not what happened at Social Studies but the one I had to share to Social Studies. Yes, the homework. Sadly, I wasn't able to deliver the story perfectly because the phone incident hadn't quite left me yet.

Anyway, I decided I will just have to rely the story through the wonders of my mind. However, not getting the story directly from my mouth while hearing my silly laughter that follows through, I'm afraid you won't find it as entertaining as I wish you would have.

Here's the start.

It was a beautiful morning - a peaceful silence settled upon Mr. Stewart and his nine-month pregnant wife. It was such a lovely mood to wake up in but of course, seconds after blinking awake, Hallie Stewart had to go to the bathroom to pee.

You might think that with her swelling tummy she would've woken her husband to help her but Hallie thought Edward just looked too peaceful with his eyes closed and small drool running the side of his mouth to be woken up. So she got up and did her business.

"Edward!" She suddenly cried, voice laced with panic.

"What?" My father asked in panic when he jolted awake at the sound of his wife's shout.

My mother, who was trying to calm herself, breathing hard, composed her voice. "I think I'm about to give birth?"

There was a silence. "What?" My father answered.

"Edward, darling," my mother said, trying to stop herself from cursing her husband who wasn't catching on. Can't he hear the urgency in her tone? "I'm on a labor."

With a thumping heart, my father didn't know what to do. He ain't a doctor. Nervous, and getting even more so when his wife yelled for him, he looked around the room, having no idea what to do. He claimed that his expertise lies in the school and even though being a biology professor meant he had studied the science of giving birth, he wasn't adept to the real-life particulars. His gaze subconsciously settled on the desk-clock. Seeing the date, he calmed down and started laughing.

Laughing, I tell you.

Boy, is he in trouble.

7:42 AM - April 01. It showed.

Hallie, my mother who was still in the bathroom heard his laugh, and was appalled. What was there to laugh about? What is her stupid husband finding funny?

"Edward! What the hell?" My mother started to walk towards the door to face her husband. Seriously questioning herself why had she married this man?

Edward, my father, paused, but the trace of his laughter was still there. "You got me there, honey. For a second I thought you were-" He snickered. He. Snickered! My mother's face was full of disbelief as she reached for the door handle, having a bit of trouble with walking her legs. When the cold metal touched her palm, she turned it around. "Actually about to give birth. Ha ha!"

She stepped out of the bathroom while my father continued to talk. "I do admit that it was good prank. Now where's the camera?" He started to search around while my mother stood angrily.

As I have mentioned before, my parents were a bit of a pranksters so . . .

"There is no camera, Edward. I was being serious, it's not a prank!" She exclaimed.

He looked at her dubiously for a spattering moment of stare-down before he blanched - realizing that his wife was telling the truth.

"Oh, shoot!" He would've said 'shit' but they had practiced cursing in alternatives for the sake of moi, the future child. But in my opinion, it was useless, everyone learns about the word one way or another.