Rehearsals With You ✓

Chapter Thirty-Five: His Story

After I left Mr. Martin's office, Ryan engulfed me in a big hug. He didn't say anything, he just smiled before he returned to classes. Meanwhile, Triss smacked my head before giving me a hug, said I was a crazy bitch and she loved me for it. I patted her back before I told her to go back to class alone because I was gonna have that long overdue conversation.

Grey and I sat under the shadow of the tree. We were at the park, eating ice cream. There were passer-bys but it was empty except for us. I told him to drive us here, skip the rest of the class then return for rehearsals. I just felt like school wasn't the place to talk.

"You are right," he blurted and looked down at his outstretched feet as he leaned against the trunk. "I should at least give Cecily a chance."

I licked my vanilla ice cream. "Grey, I hope you're not doing this because you feel forced by my words or anyone elses. Otherwise, it won't work."

He glanced at me before licking his vanilla ice cream. Turns out, we liked the same flavor. "Your words did help but it wasn't that. It was more about me. If I kept this all my life, I'll only be miserable."

I nodded. "That's . . . good."

The corners of his lips twitched before it turned down for a sad smile. "I'm sorry I have been such a jerk about it."

I swallowed. "I'm sorry if I was being nosy and pushy," I apologized as well.

We stayed quiet for a while, savoring our desert. The wind swept past us, rustling the leaves and grasses while the afternoon sun hid behind clouds. 

"My mother's name was Jeanette," he started one we both finished our ice cream, eyes forward as I assessed him.

"I know I've shared my story to you, Grey . . . but you don't have to do the same. You never have to. It's your story and it's up to you if you want to tell it. I can hope all I want, but it should not affect your decision. When you're ready . . . you're ready," I told him.

"It's not just that. I mean, I think partially . . . ? But no." He shook his head. "I feel like we've gotten so much closer when we started being friends– wait, we're friends again, right?" He turned to me.

I grinned. "Yes, of course." I chuckled. "Geez, who would've thought? April and Grey, together as friends. I never would've thought it possible."

"Me too . . ." He trailed with a smile. "Anyway, my mother . . . she was the kindest, most patient person I know. The first woman to find a place in my heart. With all the troubles I get myself into, she never once made me feel like I was an unwanted child. She showered me with care, her love was unconditional," Grey croaked.

"She sounds amazing . . ."

"She is. She was. And it broke my heart to have her gone." Death is inevitable. And no one will truly be ready for it. The mourning and the loss, both will never be. "I never knew something so trivial could feel so important right then. Our interactions. Her scoldings. Her rants. Her mirth. Everything. It has always been a part of my life that I overlooked its value. Now that it isn't, I wished I had treasured every moment with her. The good and the bad," he continued and I felt his loss wash over me. My heart broke for him.

I scooted closer to him and latched my hand on his arm. "I remember, when the news came to me, I didn't believe it. I did not even doubt because if I doubted, it will only make it more real. So, I let myself think that there was a mistake, that they would and could revive her. But when I saw her there lying still and lifeless... everything felt more than real. Yet I still did not believe it. I held onto that wishful thinking that no, it's not what it looks like. That they thought wrong. I thought wrong and she's gonna wake up unexpectedly," he paused. "It never happened."

"Hmm . . ." I muttered and cradled his head to fall on my shoulder, our bodies felt perfect leaning on each other.

"Now, I always think of what she missed. My games. My graduation. The movies we were waiting for. The tv series we bonded over. Her favorite food. Everything. Even the most little of things. I think of it and I mourn. There are too many 'what if's.' Too many. And when I think I had no more tears left to cry, my hurting heart would always prove me wrong," he continued. I leaned my head against his. "One moment I thought I was gonna be fine. That I'd go with my day and be fine. But then the next, reality would come slap me back in the face. Give me no choice but to crash and fall. Leaving wounds I never thought I would experience in this age."

"I would remember all the moments I had the day, the night, before she was taken. I would remember how we talked, everything. The memories stayed vivid as if they were made just moments ago. I don't think they'll ever fade." He licked his lips and closed his eyes with a sigh before opening them again. "They always would stay crystal clear. Every word, action, everything in it would always be there, the times we spent without knowing of what was to come. And damn it, if only there was something that could've stopped it. I wish something, someone, was capable enough to save her and prevented everything after. I never thought I'd be seeing my mother in a coffin at sixteen. I never thought I'd see her dead at sixteen. I never thought I'd see her get buried at sixteen. I never thought I'd lose her at sixteen."

"So when Cecily came to my father's life, I thought, 'I'm not about to let anyone fucking replace my mother. Whoever she is, I won't let her get in in our fucking lives. Who is she to break my mother's love for my father?'" Grey turned his head to glance up at me, his eyes welled with tears. Every sorrow he felt etched on his face. "I hated her instantly," he murmured.

He swallowed and gave a sigh. "Now, I think it's time I allow my father to be happy. I did feel betrayed about it . . . but from now on, I won't be the kind of son who stands against what or who makes him happy," he said. "Not anymore," he added quietly.

I squeezed his hand and we both just sat there, basking in each other's company. I thought about the night in the party. How I felt when I told him my story. I felt secure and content. And when we kissed, it was one amazing experience and I wanted to do it again, I still do. But I know he likes someone else. 

My lips stretched into a sad smile. I've fallen really hard. I like Grey, so much. It melts my heart that he decided I was a person he could share this with. But no matter how intimate it felt to tell each other's heaviest burden, I knew he didn't like me. 

"Thanks for telling me Grey . . ." 

He intertwined our finger together and I watched as he did. "You're worth it, April."

And I think he was worth my heart. I won't try to run away from it anymore and I won't avoid him because of it. I will continue to like him . . . even if he doesn't feel the same. I will value the friendship we have. I won't let whatever I feel compromise that. So I hope, one day, I'll be able to move on and laughed with him about how I used to like him.

I will support his love for Diana. I won't try to get in between. Because true love, no matter how painful, knew how to let go.

~°~

Author's Note:

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