Wicked Dance [Editing]

Twenty-Four

Matteo

She chose me, she wanted me, only me, nothing more but me.

Contessina wanted me and I was undeserving of her. I didn't deserve her, her attention, her loyalty, her love, especially her heart but I'd do anything to keep it, to keep her.

I'd give her anything and everything.

Every single thing she wanted, it didn't matter how expensive, how illegal it was, if she wanted it, she got it. She'd get everything because it was what she deserved and more, she deserved more, so much more, the moon, the stars, the whole fucking universe and I was more than willing to give it to her.

To make every single want and dream reality.

No price, no sacrifice, nothing was too much for her, not even this, her big, obnoxious church wedding- I didn't care where or how I married her as long as I did. I didn't care if she wore white or red, if we went to city hall or a chapel, a big or small wedding, as long as by the end she was mine, I didn't care but she did.

Contessina cared and wanted and dreamt and I was amenable to her desires.

Standing at the foot of the altar, I wait, music reverberating across the church, each not soft on the cello and piano, building up for the moment she would step in, to make her vows to me.

With only a few days- she chose to have the original wedding as planned, not wanting to waste her dream wedding, to waste what she did- we were rushing to do things or not, nothing was canceled, nothing postponed, no one knew anything and we kept it that way. We finished what needed to be finished, had the rehearsal, the confirmations, the fittings, everything. We did everything to the foot of the letter, how it was supposed to be done, how she wanted it.

Nothing between us had started right, not with the kiss, the revenge but I could do this right, do this as her traditions stated, as she dreamt.

Looking across the heavily decorated church, every inch of this place is adorned with flowers, different kinds of flowers, from peonies to dahlias, roses too, shades of white and pink, the best for her, for the woman I was about to marry.

For the past few days, I've done things I hadn't ever done before with a woman.

I wasn't a manwhore per say or a player either but I also didn't do relationships, not with all I had to do, from making my parents proud to revenge, it was the last thing on my mind. To find someone and do all those couple things, to give and explore, it wasn't my priority or something I thought I'd get. I had had one relationship in high school with a person I barely even remembered but it had been years ago and even then, it wasn't anything remotely similar to what I felt or had with Contessina.

No, this, Contessina, it was exactly what I wanted and more.

She was like the peace I yearned for.

She was what I wanted and needed. Only her, every part of her, the good, the bad, the pure, the twisted, every inch of her mind, body and soul.

And I had treated her like she was nothing. Told her she was nothing. Ignored her. Humiliated her.

When you lose too much, you start closing yourself, your heart, you start repressing your feelings, ignoring them. You lose touch with everything around you, with what things really mean until you realize you're losing everything that actually matters.

Fear was the best word I could find to express what I felt the moment she was close to leaving. Fear and pain, knowing I broke her heart, a heart she gave me once more, trusting me because she loved me.

She loves me.

I didn't deserve it, her, yet it didn't mean I would stop myself from taking her, from making her mine.