Wicked Dance [Editing]

Nineteen

Matteo

I gave her my mother's ring because I wanted to do things right, because the last three weeks had been almost perfect, had been what I yearned for in secret. I gave her one of the most important things in the world to me, something I thought she'd cherish only for me to find it pressed against someone that wasn't me.

Standing at the end of the hall, I feel nothing. No pain, no anger, no devastation. Maybe it's because of all I've been through- seeing my parents die, losing my sister, being cheated on already, betrayed- that seeing this is nothing compared to that.

I should feel something, disgust, hate, jealousy, anything. I should be livid at finding my fianceé tangled with the person who took what little I had left but I don't. I feel nothing as I look at them, at their bodies pressed closely, hidden in the darkness, holding onto each other like they can't breathe without the other. I feel nothing as I see her lips on his, her hand on his chest, her dress hitched up as she holds him. I feel nothing but if I did, if I hadn't already expected this, I think my heart would break.

If I had a heart, it would fall just like the roses I held in my hand would if I didn't hold onto them.

Closing my eyes, maybe I do feel something. Maybe I'm just too shocked to feel it correctly, my mind still catching up. Maybe later I'll fall into an episode, one I know I won't be able to get out of but right now, I feel nothing.

I had left for a minute, maybe two, Enzo needing to tell me something important. I left her as she went to the bathroom because I thought I had nothing to worry about, not when minutes ago she had kissed me, not when I had the whole country club surrounded with men, especially not when she wore my ring. I left her expecting loyalty as I had promised her but came back to see the reality of it all.

Opening my eyes, I see hazel eyes staring at me, shocked, filled with fear, pained. I see her and unlike the rest of the times, they don't stir anything in me. I'm not tempted to give her the world, to burn it in her name, to save her.

I'm hollow.

Hearing my name on her lips, I hate myself for how much I used to like it. To hear my name on those soft lips, that tasted like lemons, sour but sweet at the same time. I hate myself that I know how they feel, how they taste, I hate myself because I can still feel them even when they're not on me.

I'm a fool.

With the flowers in hand, I walk to them, seeing as Contessina now tries to push Antonio away as if seconds ago she hadn't been wrapped around him. I watch as she tries to untangle herself from him, his name falling from her lips, the person who raped my sister looking up from her neck, a smirk crawling onto his lips as he sees me. "Love, we've been caught."

His words do nothing to me. They don't make me stop, they don't tip me like I know he wants me to tip. He wants me to act irrational, to be someone else, to act impulsively, he wants to see me livid but I won't allow myself to do that.

I had other plans in mind.

"No. We weren't... I wasn't... Antonio let me go," Contessina struggles out, pushing Antonio away, stepping from his hold before she turns to me. "I wasn't doing anything. He kissed me. He wanted me to go with him. I wasn't-"

Behind her, Antonio steps closer to her, slithering a hand around her waist to pull him to her, a claim on her. The hold on the flowers tightening and if they had thorns, blood would stain the white marble. "Don't lie love. He caught us. He knows what we wanted to do. Right Senator?" He asks me, voice dripping with mockery.

Annoying as he was, I did. I knew about it, found out only minutes ago but tried to tell myself it wasn't true because for a few moments in my life, I wanted to believe a lie, an impossible.