Wicked Dance [Editing]

Nine

Contessina

Pretend. Wait.

Two words Antonio had pressed onto my lips as he kissed me, words that he had whispered into my ear before he let go of me. Words that followed me all the way out of that place as Senator Astor tugged me away, as he leaned down to kiss me, as he stared down me with a storm that would knock my breath.

Words that I hated because I did not like to pretend. Not when people already assumed who I wasn't, when they thought things of me that I didn't do, like the fact that now the man I was forced to marry thought I had slept with Antonio.

I hadn't. Not once. Not ever. Not until we were married.

I may kiss Antonio in secret but I didn't let him touch me farther than the waist. I didn't let him go any farther than just a kiss, not when I had principles, morals, traditions to follow.

I may love him but I would not cross that line with him until it was time. I may love him but this- my virginity- was something that I kept close to me, it wasn't just about not having had any man before but about laying everything to the right man when the moment was right and so far, it wasn't right. I had had many opportunities to cross that line but each time, it didn't feel as it was supposed to be.

I had unrealistic expectations, especially when I was in the mafia.

But when the day came and I crossed that line, I knew that I'd give everything I had. My loyalty, my care, my honesty and heart. I'd give my heart and hope that he protected it like he did the organization.

I hadn't slept with Antonio yet but the man I was forced to marry thought I did. I could see it in his eyes, in the way they raged after Antonio's lies. I could hear it behind his words as he told Antonio how he'd take me 'raw'. I felt it as his fingers burned into my skin, how he looked at me with distaste and hate.

I didn't like pretending but I'd do it if it meant getting out of the arrangement.

People who didn't know me, who knew me as the Mafia Princess, thought I was spoiled, that I was rude and had a rotten personality. That because of my affiliation with the Mafia, I was bathed in blood, that I was exactly what Antonio wanted me to be.

I wasn't.

I hated the world I was born in but would put up with it for Antonio. I wanted to put a little good in the world, wanted to show people that not everyone was what they assumed but considering the circumstances, I'd pretend to be what he didn't like, what everyone thought I was. I'd be the spoiled, the tainted, the girl who bathed in blood.

I'd be exactly what a Mafia Princess was.

Shaking off the thoughts as I open the door of my bedroom, I was hesitant to go downstairs, to cross the man I had heard late last night arriving, hearing his footsteps as I perched on a chair and massaged my heels and waited for one text message from Antonio- I sent him countless ones, I even tried calling him because I was worried about what Matteo had ordered his men to do- but getting nothing and I almost shattered my phone. I had almost chucked it to a man I had seen walking late at night with a flashlight but didn't because I needed my phone in case Antonio called.

But I had heard Matteo, had almost felt him as he stood outside my door. I had felt each second drag by, my stomach tight as I thought about him walking in my room and doing as he had promised Antonio. To bend me at his will, to taint me when I was still untainted, to ruin me because he could but he didn't, he didn't knock or call out, only left as swiftly as he came.