Forbidden Freedoms

No where to hide

"So what if a few people see my face in the paper!" Billy convinced himself. "Its been years and I doubt anyone will register its me". He spoke to himself in an effort to convince his soul the words were true. It was a rolling boulder that he couldn't stop now anyway. It seemed like he had skipped straight to acceptance in this deranged path of spiritual grief. He had ignored the buzzing of his phone in the naive hope that if he shut out the world it would ignore him back. Much like an ostrich buries its head in the sand to hide away from danger Billy was buried deep.
He grabbed the now near empty whiskey bottle to again place it back in its specified space for emergencies accidently knocking his phone off the table. It seemed that fate wanted him to see who had been the cause of its continuous buzzing. Picking up the phone he saw 10 missed calls from Charlie and 5 unopened messages.
If he didn't open the messages would the consequences be more or less dire then if he knew the contents? He stood there staring at the phone wondering if there was a greater power somewhere forcing him to choose or pushing him towards the abyss. The not knowing was making him sick to his stomach so he tentatively opened the messages from Charlie.

- hey babe I've tried to call ya so next time pick up the phone yeah xxxx

- honestly anyone would think your avoiding talking to me! I've got news!xxxx

- I know things have been strange as of late but things are picking up and its all very exciting! I'm gonna try you again in a min xxxx

- is everything ok?? I've tried calling you like alot and it goes straight to answer phone! I'm hoping its just a problem with your phone and all ok?

- I'm gonna have to assume that there's an issue and your not getting these messages. You really need to get online so there's other ways to contact you! If and when you see this heres the basics of what I need to tell you. I've been asked to go on the TV to talk about you and how brave you've been. I'd really like you to come with me and get the credit you deserve but I'd get why you probably won't as your an old grumpasaurus! I'm gonna be interviewed with the lady of the family you saved. Hope your ok.... let me know everythings ok xxxxx

Billy tried to think rationally. Just because they were gonna be on TV doesn't mean that he would be exposed. People talking isn't showing him just a verbalisation of the person they know. He had been meticulous about avoiding having his picture taken. He was in essence a ghost as far as visual recognition was concerned. He tried to make himself as bland and camouflaged as possible and never wore or did anything outlandish that would seperate him from the masses. He hid by being the everyman in a crowd. The definition of average. He surely would be safe. If identified it would mean disaster. Had he been living on borrowed time? Fate surely catches up with even greater most elusive of us.
Billy couldn't not know and wait for the heavens to make a decision about his surely doomed soul. He grabbed his coat and ventured out to buy a paper and gain information, any information about the extent of his exposure. He picked up the first 3 papers he saw and gingerly paid for them pulling his hat down over his face hoping that this shield numbed the world around him. The man behind the counter stared at Billy trying to place his face. "Don't I know you?" The man queried. Billy stayed silent with a slight head shake praying that the man didn't know him. As he walked away the man shouted "your the guy from the paper?! The local guy who saved that kid right?" Holding up a paper he drew the attention of the other people in the shop. Billy had no other instinct but to flee. He opened the shop door and paced as fast as he could away with out trying highlight any more attention. As he got around the corner his mind screamed at him RUN! He ran until he could no longer catch his breath and his legs shook. He got home. Slammed the door and bolted it shut.
He had his answers before he glanced at the papers. As his eyes reluctantly fell to the front pages he saw two pictures of himself. The first a slightly blurry out of focus one taken as he was being taken to the ambulance after he had collapsed. This picture was inconclusive. It could reasonably have been anyone or so he convinced himself. The second a perfect picture of him sat with Charlie. It was the one picture he had dropped his guard about and allowed her to take of them at work one evening. How had he forgotten about this picture. His moment of weakness, his mistake has let this slip in cover occur. She must have given them this picture he thought. He was angry but at himself not Charlie. She wasn't to blame for living a normal life where people take pictures and make memories. He knew better then to have done this. Although he was older in this picture, if you knew him when he was younger you would be able to see the boy but as a man now.
Billy stared at the photo. It was simultaneously the worst and best picture of him. He looked happy in it. She was there and he couldn't hide his smile. What if my mum sees the picture? Billy prayed that she didn't see the picture. It would break her heart to know his future was ruined again. His phone buzzed

- hey babes I know your not in a talking mood but I've gotta tell ya that the interview went well and we painted you as a legit legend .... you can thank me by getting me that drink you've always promised me! Make it a double infact! Xxxxx

Billy knew he had to speak to Charlie he owed her an explanation, he owed her something. The truth would make her hate him but he knew he would loose her anyway. He breathed deep to gather the courage to call her unsure of what words would come out. The phone vibrated in his hand with an unknown number. The game was up thought Billy. They've come for me.

He answered the call but said nothing .
"I know you can hear me William. What happens from here on out is dependent on how far the information breech will go. We will do everything to help contain but if things escalate then be ready. Pack a bag with all essentials and bring all forms of Identification. Do you undestand?"

Billy tried to speak... but nothing came out

"Do you understand?" The voice repeated

"Yes... I understand.... I'm sorry" whispered Billy.

The phone call ended abruptly. They had no time of Billys apologies or emotions. It was not a tragedy for them but a nuisance. Paperwork and pressure that they could do without. He wasn't worth any of this to them.