The Louvre | Spencer Reid ✓

f i v e - "unwanted memories"

Warning ⚠️- this chapter contains the talk of rape and past trauma. I don't go into the specifics, but please be warned and read with caution.

Flashbacks will be represented by this text

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It was around 8:30pm, still having about 5 hours left of my shift, when I got called down to the ER. I obviously get called down a lot since I'm a first year resident. I'm usually stitching up someone's hand from a knife accident, or doing flu or step tests on kids, or since I was an OB resident I would assist with pregnancy concerns, but this time it was different.

I walked over to the nurses station as I see my attending come out of one of the rooms, "hey Corman, can you come here for a minute?"

I walked over to her, "did you page me?"

"Yes," Dr. Allen said as she handed me a chart, "I know you haven't done one of these before, but I trust you and I have to go assist upstairs on the ward."

I look down at the chart and my heart starts to beat out of my chest, "a rape kit?"

"Yes," Dr. Allen said solemnly, "you don't have to do much since the NP will do most of the exam, but I need you to do a pelvic exam and a pap then sign some things," she looked down at her pager, "I really have to go, I'm sorry."

A rape kit, I obviously knew I would have to do one eventually, but I didn't think so soon. I took a breath and walked over to the patient's room.

I walk in the room to see the NP taking some pictures for evidence. I look to see the girl, her chart said she was only 18 years old. She looked terrified and hurt, you could see bruises in the shape of handprints lining her wrists and neck. I swallowed nervously and walked over to her.

"Hi Amanda," I said calmly while taking a seat on the rolling stool, "I'm Dr. Corman, but you can call me Rose, I'm here to do a few more tests if that's ok with you?"

She looked up, not making eye contact but she nodded. I said "ok" and got up to wash my hands and get my supplies. I was slightly shaking, but I managed to calm myself down before anyone could notice, I wanted to make Amanda as comfortable as I could, even though I knew that was close to impossible.

I carefully started the procedures, making sure to watch her facial expressions to make sure she was somewhat ok. When I finished up I singed some papers, I then looked back at Amanda, a single tear streaming down her face. All I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it was alright, but I couldn't, I couldn't tell her everything would be alright because I didn't know if it would be.

I walked out of the room and over to the nurses station to give them the files to process. I handed the nurse the papers and she looked down with a sad look on her face.

"Another one?" She questioned.

"What?"

She looked concerned, "I feel like I have been processing more and more rape kits every week, I don't know what's going on."

All I could manage to say was "I don't know" and I walked away towards the bathroom. I walked in, looking to make sure no one was in there. I walked into the handicap stall and stood against the wall, slowly sliding down to my butt. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.