Run With Me || JJK+PJM

twenty-seven

JIMIN

My hands are wringing themselves as Jungkook runs a hand through his hair in disbelief.

"We've been going through some really traumatic shit for the past month-"

I cut him off.

"I barely know you! What you like, what you don't like-"

And then he cuts me off.

"That's why I want to get to know you better," he says pleadingly.

"Jungkook, we can't date," I shake my head before I can register what I'm saying.

"Just say you don't like me and I'll drop this," he says.

"We can move on like this never happened-"

"But I can't!" I cry out. I'm surprised, appalled, by how emotional I am right now.

"I can't say that I don't have feelings for you because that would be a lie! I can't date a boy," my voice breaks.

"No, that's not why," he says carefully, "And you know it."

I lift my hands up before dropping them because I don't know what to bloody say. I plant my palms on either side of my hips and look away from him because I can feel tears building. Damn it, why do I not know what to say?

"We'd never work. I'm too closed off and you're too loving. I could never return your feelings that strongly and you will realise that someday. And at that point there will be no return, we will never return to this - to being friends. You do not want to date me, you're just too broken and emotional to think right-" I say, my voice rising against my will. I admit I hit too low a blow by attacking him when this is really, probably, most likely just me being... scared.

"How do you know that? How do you know we'd never work out?" he shouts, his voice breaks off at the end in anger as tears stream down his cheeks.

"Because you're better than me!" I yell right back.

"But I like-"

"I will never be enough for you!" I shout.

And then it's quiet.

We're both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling and I realise what I've done.

"Jungkook, we're too young to make this decision anyway. And you know I'm right. We barely know each other. You will find someone in Paris and-"

"Stop," his voice is hoarse from the screaming and crying and he quickly grabs his coat on top of the hay, making for the door. And the only thing I can do is follow him with my eyes, wallowing in the sudden coldness.

He pauses before opening the door and he takes a shaky inhale before looking at me. His eyes are wild. They remind me of when we first met. Even in the dark rainy night, he was burning. He was always so alive.

I wrap my arms around myself as I wipe my tears, trying to stand taller.

"This. We. Us. We are done," he says lowly before leaving.

***

I can't move for another ten minutes. The only thing that gets me moving is the thought that the train is coming very very soon.

Jungkook's overreacting. I'm just saying I don't want to date. He's forcing himself on me, right? But Jungkook's not like that. But I don't even know him. I like him - apparently. I want to be with him but I'm scared. Damn it, this is my fault.

Jungkook's already at the train station, sitting on the bench. I sit on the other side.

"Jungkook," I say quietly. He doesn't respond.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," I apologise sincerely - might as well start apologising for everything I feel guilty for doing right now. We may never meet again after this train ride.

"I like you, Jungkook. I'm just scared. I'm really really scared," I confess and I look into the distance.

Then I look at him. For the last time.

Him, in my coat that will be too small for him in a few years. His eyes, the way his nose slopes, the way his lips part and the way his brows curve.

"I overreacted. I wish you the best for your future," Jungkook says forlornly. I swallow thickly, tears biting at my cheeks. But I know there is nothing I can do. Nothing I can offer anymore. I can't date him and I can't make it harder for him by staying friends.

We should move on separately - as we would've originally done had we never met.

But I'm glad we met, Jungkook.

I really am.

This is the end of the line.

It's been a fun run, Jungkook.

I wish you well too.