Run With Me || JJK+PJM

three

JUNGKOOK

It's dark and cramped as the three of us huddle at the small dining table and start eating. Dae's empty seat makes me want to cry more and never wake up. It's been a few days since she's left. So far, there have been no fights since most of the crying has been Eomma missing Dae.

Speaking of Eomma, she's slowly eating and I know her appetite is lost. Appa's still chugging his beer as usual. My hands grip my utensils as I force myself to eat. The candle's flicker and cast wild shadows across the room - it makes my head spin.

"Eat up, Jungkook, what's wrong?" Eomma asks worriedly. What's wrong. I want to laugh, cackle, anything. I want to flip this table and run away. Dae's gone, that's what's wrong. Appa's going to beat me until I no longer look like a human without Dae around to help me, that's what's wrong.

I only clench my utensils tighter.

Appa tips his glass bottle towards me, his actions sloppy and clumsy.

"Eat quickly. The letters won't answer themselves. Once the rain stops, you're going out to mail them," he says sternly and it still sends damn shivers down my spine. I look at Dae's space and I want, so desperately I do, for her to appear and look at me. Just that alone would assure me that everything will be fine.

I don't even think of the letters I was forced to write to the girls from the wealthy.

"Appa. I already told you," my voice is ragged and I know there's no going back from this sentence. Eomma's already looking up at me, her eyes pleading me to not say anything more.

"I'm not interested in any of these girls. I refuse to marry any of them," I say, looking slowly at him. The shadows stop running about and utensils stop scraping. I look at my food like it's personally wronged me and my knuckles might burst from how tightly I'm holding my spoon.

It's silent one second.

And then so terribly, frighteningly loud the next.

His fist slams down onto the table and Eomma jolts, my head hangs low already. His beer-holding hand throws the glass down onto the floor and Eomma yelps, hands already holding his as he rises and looks down at me. The glass bits skid across the uneven floor and land near my feet. My heart wants to make a run for it.

"You are not gay. You are a Jeon and you are going to marry a woman. Don't you dare disobey me!" his voice is trembling from the influence of alcohol but he's still shouting. It still reaches deep into my heart and shreds it apart. Tears immediately start blazing down my cheeks and I stand abruptly. I look directly at him and I think I'm shaking but I can't really tell.

His face is growing redder and redder and if I could live with no consequences, I would've lunged at him. Then I would've set this house on fire.

"Control yourself or I will disown you!" he screams so loudly Eomma collapses at his feet and starts clawing at his shirt, mumbling and crying for him to stop. The shouting and the crying and the glass breaking and the rain smattering and rattling our walls - all of it made me want to implode.

"Then disown me."

I look him in his crazed, wild eyes and my gaze drops to Eomma who's weeping.

I take the scene all in and I leave.

***

I block my room's door with a chair and my closet. I'm trembling and the wind is howling through the drafts and holes. I think I've been driven insane. My hands are shaking and I can hear yelling and shouting downstairs. I want to drown in the rain.

I rub my eyes and mutter under my breath.

"Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm," I say, my trembling hands rubbing at my eyes, face and hugging myself. It feels like the room, the house and my world is trembling.