꧁𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 ꧂

𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝

tw: mentions of drugs and suicide.
your pov:

i was in fact, getting tired of that medicine that issie gave me, but i couldn't stop thinking about the fact that i opened up to louis, and now he wants me talking to him.

it's a really sensitive topic for me that will most likely make me cry, but i cannot help it, i have to tell someone and rant about it.

let's hope louis just keeps it a secret. with me. and me only.

i turned to look at louis, i was getting calm knowing he was next to me, but also stressed since i knew we were going to talk about.. well my family...

tomorrow.

i just looked at him, his sharp jawline make me want to literally kill me.
i was so unhappy about what i mentioned earlier.

my kind wandered of as i stared at louis.

"you okay?" louis whispered as i jumped a little.

"i still can't sleep"

"why not"

"we are meant to talk about.. you know, tomorrow and it's on my mind and it's keeping me awake"

"do you want to talk about it now?"

my heart froze, but it was thumping harshly in my chest as i started to get nervous.

"look, we don't have to talk about it but i think you would want to rant about it... right?"

"y-yeah"

"tell me about it" louis said as he placed his warm hand on my cheek.

"b-but i feel like i'll fall asleep."

"okay, come out your head on my chest and tell me about it, you will fall asleep at one point but that's okay, at least you will fall asleep on me."

"okay.." i said as i made my way to lean my head on louis' chest.

once i made it on his chest, i could see his chest lifting up and down slowly as he breathed slowly.

"okay.. your parents were addicted? and you don't know if they still are?"

i just puckered my lips inside of my mouth and nodded as i closed my eyes that were already tearing up.

"mhm.. yeah." i said boldly, trying to cover the fact that i was already crying, louis was looking at the cellini for so it was even better.

"is there anything you need to talk about?"

"hold on." i said as i quickly rubbed my eyes down

"okay, my parents chose me over drugs, which is why i'm here in london, my parents are super rich, but please don't tell anyone what i'm about to tell you."

"i promise i won't"

"my father owns a drug company"

"oh"

"which is why my parents have access to these addictive drugs, one day, before i was at the airport, i was packing to get ready to leave for my flight since my parents couldn't stop arguing and i couldn't contain myself anymore, i told them and they even said that they didn't want me in the house"

"i-i'm sorry"

"it's okay louis, anyways, as i was saying, the reason i'm getting like 20k every month is because of my dads company, and you may wonder why he's giving me all this money although he hates me, but it's my mother forcing him to. and i don't know if i might as well just quit my education since i get a fair amount of money every month"

"please don't quit education"

"listen louis.. with all this fuckery happening in my family, you think my mental health health will cope with my education? no, it's going to make things worse, and i heard the other day that you don't like the sad side of me, so you better respect my decision and not control me." i started to get a bit rude since louis thinks education won't affect my mental health, but it drastically has.

louis stayed silent.

"sorry, you're right."

we stayed in an awkward silence for a bit.

"okay but what if your father stops sending you the money or his company will be suspended and he will go to jail for having that company and then you won't get 20k a month, what happens next?"

"suicide"

FUCK, that was not meant to come out my fucking oblivious mouth, fuck me.

"w-what did you just say?"

"i'm kidding"

"no you're not y/n. what do you-"

i knew he was not going to understand what i meant, so i went off at him.

"WHAT I FUCKING MEAN IS, ILL BE HERE, STUCK IN MY FUCKING APARTMENT THAT I WILL SOON BE KICKED OUT OF FOR NOT PAYING THE RENT WITH MY FATHERS MONEY, AND WHAT THE FUCK WILL I DO NEXT HUH? TELL ME LOUIS. SEE, YOU HAVENT SPOKEN, MEANING THERE WILL BE NOWHERE FOR ME TO GO. SO IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST END IT RATHER THAN FUCKING NOT COPE."

i was shouting as i proceeded to hit my leg with anger, causing my anger issues to rise.

louis hasn't seen this side of me, hasn't he?

"w-well you can just come to me.."

"SO YOU KNOW THE FUCKING ANSWER LOUIS, I COME TO YOU, OKAY? NOW WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU SO CLUELESS IN THE FIRST PLACE."

i hot my knee again, this time, i hit it so harshly to the point where i think i might've possibly broke my finger.

i kept on hitting myself.

"hey hey hey!" louis said as he grabbed my wrists and stopped me from hitting myself.

"i've never see this side of you."

"sorry."

"no no no, i get it, we all get pissed sometimes, now come on, you need a hug"

he sat up and grabbed my waist as he lifted me towards him like i weighed nothing and he hugged me tightly.

"i'm so sorry for what has happened, i'm always here"

....

———————————————————————————

louis pov:

"i'm sorry for what has happened, i'm always here"
i said to y/n as she was hugging me.

i had no reply from her until i realised her steady breathing, she fell asleep whilst i was hugging her. god she's so cute.

although i'm suprised with how she got aggressive, it's a thing that always happens, and to someone like me, who has a short temper, i'm not so suprised.