A Promise Is A Promise

[24] Claire

Kayla didn't pick up the first time I called her. She didn't pick up the second, either. But the third time the ringing started, it stopped almost instantly.

"Hey," I said, my voice small in the face of the disaster our lives had been over the last several days.

"Hey," she replied just as quietly from the other end of the phone. I could hear every ounce of hesitation and defeat, every ounce of exhaustion, and my heart broke a little bit.

"So, we kind of need to talk."

"Yeah, I agree."

"Okay, um," I paused and forced myself to take a deep breath. I had a feeling this conversation wasn't going to end with either of us having dry eyes. "I know that what happened in the bathroom was because of a bigger issue, but I'm sorry for not recognizing that just because things are all right on my end, that doesn't make them the same on yours. I knew that this would be difficult for you. We've both always known that, but I haven't made the situation any better by sharing private things with other people before you were ready. I'm sorry for that, too. It wasn't my place to tell Walker and Maggie that we're together, and I know that isn't what caused your mom to find out, but what I did still doesn't sit right with me. I wish that things were different for you, and you were able to be in a place where you knew that your family loves you unconditionally. If there's any way I can help you, let me know because I love you. You know that, right? I love you so much, and I just want to help make all of this easier for you."

"Thanks, Claire." Her words remained hushed until she cleared her throat and spoke again. "I love you, too, and I wish everything was different, but it's not. I'm sorry for what I said to you, too. I was mad, but that doesn't warrant me speaking to you like that. You weren't the only one I lashed out at, though. Yesterday at practice, I kind of exploded and broke down. Frankie talked to me and offered to let me stay with her, but I can't do that. You understand that, don't you? You understand why I can't just check out of everything I've known for my entire life? I know it makes me sound weak and everything, but I can't walk away from my family."

"You're not weak for that, Kayla. They should love you, you shouldn't have to worry about losing them, you're a kid."

"I know, but I can't help it. I can't... I can't compromise on them. We can talk about this and figure everything else out, but things with them aren't changing. I'm not budging on that, Claire."

"I know, I know," I sighed. "I'm not asking you to. I know that it's complicated—"

"No, it's not, it's pretty easy to—"

"Okay, okay, if we're going to get anywhere, you can't get mad at me for little things like that." I was happy we weren't talking about this face-to-face because she would've seen me roll my eyes. We'd known each other for so long that I wondered if she knew, anyway. "It's counterproductive, and it's not going to help us figure anything out."

She was dead silent for a few long moments, which kind of surprised me. She'd been so quick to fire back lately that I'd been expecting her to waste no time on responding to me, but she seemed to be clinging to what control she could hang onto. "What is there to figure out?"

Her question hit me like a ton of bricks. We were a shred of what we'd been a month and a half ago, and the way she sounded made me think she was giving up. It was the same way she'd sounded the other morning, and that terrified me. "Everything. Anything. I don't care, whatever we have to figure out to make this work. I want this to work, don't you?"