A Promise Is A Promise

[23] Kayla

The morning after my talk with Coach, I found Claire by her locker and pulled her away with me as soon as she was done getting her books. I drug her into the bathroom and kissed her apologetically after I checked to make sure we were the only ones in there.

"I'm so sorry about the way I was being yesterday," I murmured in a rush, hoping to get all of my words out before we were interrupted. "That's exactly what my mom wants and I can't let our relationship fall apart."

"Baby, you don't have to be sorry. I understand how hard this is. You just have to let me help you. My parents are fine with it, you can come over to escape whenever you want and—"

"They what? Your parents are—"

"They're not mad. I mean, they don't love it, but they're not ready to send me packing, either, so everything is going to be fine. They were shocked, but I got Walker and Maggie to talk to them. We were explaining everything to them, how it's basically the same as if I was with a guy, how I like both, so everything's okay. They said they were happy that I was with you because they know you're a good person and they love you. Isn't this so good? Things are better than we thought they'd be, I mean, aren't you happy?"

"Happy?" I echoed, unable to comprehend how she could believe I wasn't on rock bottom. "My mom fucking hates me, Claire. She doesn't give a fuck about who the other girl is because every part of it is sick and evil in her eyes. She's convinced that I'm going to hell and at this point, I'm pretty damn sure that she thinks I deserve to. My dad's still in California, but he's going to think the same thing. If anything, he'll be worse about it. But that's great for you, you know. I don't really know why we ever thought that yours would be upset about it. Everything is always so fucking easy for you. Your parents and your fucking brother? Of course everyone is just ready to put up a damn rainbow flag on their front porch for you."

"Woah, I'm sorry that yours didn't have the same reaction as mine, and soon I'm sure they'll see that this isn't a bad thing, but you don't have to take it out on me. I don't get how you can't see that this is a good thing. We have some people on our side. That's way better than none."

"No, you have people on your side. I have to fight through this by myself, just like I do with every other thing."

"No, you don't. No one said that you have to—"

"You know what, Claire? Fuck you. I can't do this right now."

"So, what? You're done with us? Just like that? You're walking away?"

"No, but I just—" I threw my hands up and shook my head, defeat sinking in. "I can't fucking do this right now. We'll talk about this later. I can't do it right now." I brushed past her and left the bathroom in an even worse state than I'd been in yesterday. I was filled with more than devastation. Pure rage ran through my veins, simmering dangerously and ready to spill over the edge.

~

When I got home from practice, I took a freezing cold shower. Every move I'd made had been just as bad as yesterday's. I was too tight, too tempted to let everything around me be taken over by my anger, and I did let it take things over. Whoever dared to get too close and push too far did so at their own risk. I'd somehow managed to keep myself from completely exploding, but with the things I'd said under my breath, I was surprised no one picked a fight with me. I might've even gone as far to say that I was a little disappointed.

The water had helped, but only barely. I was still a furious mess once I was dried off and starting my homework, although a cold one. I hadn't gotten very far with my statistics problems when my brother invited himself into my room without knocking.