A Promise Is A Promise

[7] Kayla

When practice ended on Thursday, Claire came up to me with an apology on her lips. "Hey, I'm sorry about the other week, okay? I get that you're trying to be a good friend, and I don't blame you for getting mad because I know this is all new. You probably have so many questions that you really want answers to, but I haven't been offering you very many. You're my best friend, though. I want you to know what's going on with me, so if you're not still too mad, you can come over after you shower. My parents won't be there, so we can just hang out and talk about all of this. You know, if you want."

I smiled to myself, deciding to mess with her a little bit before I let her know I was mostly over our fight. "You mean you and Frankie don't have any romantic Valentine's Day plans? I'm shocked, I thought for sure you would force her to take you out to a fancy restaurant in Missoula before you crushed her spirit." Her face fell and her shoulders dropped, which immediately made me feel guilty. She started to turn to walk away, but I shook my head and reached out to grab her arm. "Hey, I wasn't being serious. Sorry, saying that sounded like a better idea in my head. Um, yeah, sure I'll come over. We can talk about whatever you want."

The hopeful look came back to her eyes and we finished gathering our things, then headed out to our cars. I ran home to shower quickly, growing more and more nervous as the time before I would see her again ran out. There was something about being entirely alone with her that made my heart beat harder. Maybe it was the moment from New Year's that ran through my mind over and over again. The thought of sitting next to her on the floor, feeling like I wanted to kiss her, but knowing I couldn't wasn't doing anything good for my nerves.

I didn't like that I'd even had that feeling in the first place, but I had to admit that it wasn't the first time one like that had taken over my body. I forced myself to push away the countless times that flashed in and out of my head that I'd hoped for the same thing with other girls—other friends. Those moments weren't real, they weren't who I was. They were things that were supposed to happen in movies and books, not in real life, not in my life. That was the only reason I'd pictured them. They were already there from things I'd been exposed to, not from things I'd actually wanted.

When I pulled into Claire's driveway, I caught a glimpse of candlelight through the front window and rolled my eyes. Of course she was playing this up and making it seem like a real thing as her way of getting me back for my comment in the locker room. I could play pretend, too, though.

As I opened the front door, I called, "Honey, I'm home," as loudly as I could.

"I'm in the dining room, my love," she returned, catching on to what I was doing.

I went to the other room and snaked my arm around her waist while she set a plate down on the table. My lips pressed to her cheek and when I pulled back, she turned and looked up at me. A long, charged silence passed between us. I couldn't tell if the way she was staring at me meant I had taken things too far, or if she was fine with it, or if she just hadn't been expecting it, but I was hyperaware of the way that everywhere I was touching her made me feel like I was on fire. All too soon, she blinked and I knew I had done something I shouldn't have. I pulled my arm from around her and stepped away from her, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"S-So, it's not something as fancy that a place in Missoula could give us, but I think it'll work," she said, her voice thin and awkward. I cleared my throat, risking a glance at the table and seeing a frozen pizza in the middle. The plate she had just put down was across from another and a bottle of wine was off to the side, accompanied by two glasses.

"Where'd you get this from?" I picked up the bottle, wishing I could drink it all so I wouldn't feel as embarrassed as I did.

"It was in the basement, I think someone gave it to my parents for Christmas last year, but they haven't drank wine in forever, so they won't miss it. We probably shouldn't have all of it, though, since we have school tomorrow and you have to drive home."