Listen Carefully [UNDER REVISION]

Epilogue: 411

I was currently looking at my own reflection on the river, where Jason and I hang out, before he leave me for good. Weeks, months, days, I don't know exactly how many opportunity I let slipped away. The last time I communicate with my friends?, it was a year ago. Breaking up with William is one of the biggest mistake I ever made, do I have any choice? If I'm still with him, Jason will be alone here in UK. Letting go the only happiness I have, is much worst than killing myself multiple times. I turned numb after witnessing my brother die in my own arms, literally. I can't even remember when was the last time I speak with real people, all I have right now is my own hallucinations.

A lot of question running inside my head, am I good enough?, Why he needs to go?, Does he love me?, Will he forgive me?, is it because of me, why he needs to go?, Something like that. Now my life doesn't have purpose again, all the year have passed I was depending on my brother. He was the source of my strength, you can tell I'm living for him but he is gone what can I do now?, Kill myself like I usual do when I realized no one is here for me?. I wiped out the tears running on my cheeks, letting out a bitter chuckled realizing today is supposed to be the happiest moment in my life. Today was supposed to be another unforgettable memory with him, Jason staying alive for another year of my existence. But world can be cruel, he take my brother in a wrong time.

"I graduated with a degree, I find a confidence to speak again. I thought that is enough to keep you alive, but it wasn't. That's not enough for you, you could atleast informed what do you want!. *Chuckles* What should I do now, Jason?. You are dead and I was left alone in this cruel world, without any one else by my side" I said talking to no one, I'm still looking down on my own reflection. Watching how calm the river look likes, from where I'm standing. But unfortunately the more bodies of water appear calm, it's the opposite when you fall down in it.

I started to remove my shoes, socks, blazer, cellphone full of my memories with my brother. A bitter chuckled let out in my mouth as I walked towards the big rock on the river, enduring the pain piercing on my feet, my eyes remained lifeless, still looking at the river.

"What a great timing we have there, you are dead, uncle's dead too. None of our relatives in UK wanted to help me get away from this, *chuckles*. Jason, forgive me"

I jumped on the river, letting the rip current pull down my body. No one can stop me now, William is not here, none of my friends and his friends showed up in my brother's funeral. I'm so alone, the only visitor we have is our dead parents and Mr. Chapman. I still remember the day he left me, on my own birthday. That's miserable right?, It will be more miserable knowing that on his last day, he make sure I was happy before releasing his last breath. While I'm hugging him for dear life, begging for him to stay alive atleast for another year.

*Flashback*

*Soft tune of music in the background*

*Wedding bells roaring in the air*

*Chattering of people*

*Faint smell of roses, and various of flowers*

I was lying on the bed, sleeping in the most uncomfortable position while smiling. As I dreamed about my wedding with William, My father along with Jason walking me down the aisle, as William look at me again. Tears building up on his eyes, smiling ear to ear, not minding how ridiculous he looked right now. When we arrived in front of the altar, where my soon to be husband standing, waiting for Jason give my hand to him, a symbol that he already give his blessing for us. William is still smiling at me, we look at each other, showing love in our eyes, while my arms wrapped around his forearms. Jason just look at us with disgusted expression, shaking his head mouthing how come he let me marry an old man.