Mythic Bestiary

Log 20: Centaur

Summary: The Centaurs are a species originating from Greek Mythology, and are known as part-horse part- men. Rowdy, perverted at times, and known as unpleasant brutes, not to be confused with Satyrs, the rowdy part-goat men.

Behavior: Most Centaurs are known as unbridled beasts who represent untamed nature, and their day to day behavior compliment that well. Foul tempered, brutish, and loud, it is hard to be around them for a significant amount of time. They are also quite fond of alcohol, good or bad, and tend to get drunk and make poor decisions afterwards. In more recent years, Centaurs have been represented as more graceful creatures, struggling against their horse sides to give in to their more tame, kind, human side. Not so!

Think of that guy. You know, that guy. The unpleasant guy who's loud, arrogant, shows up at parties he wasn't invited to and somehow finds something new to say each time you meet him that makes him worse. That is the embodiment of a Centaur. They are unpleasant, and you should not aspire to be near them, no matter how majestic they seem to be. Deer are majestic, but they're still idiots who jump at their own sneeze.

However, a few Centaurs broke this status quo, one Centaur in particular was known as a fantastic teacher to many heroes. Known as Chiron, he was seen as the wisest and kindest of the Centaurs, and taught such heroes as: Theseus, Perseus, Aeneus, and other us's! I'm sorry to say, but Philoctetes the Satyr did not in fact teach many Greek heroes the rules of heroism. The Mouse lied to all of us. Chiron was set apart from the Centaurs due to the fact that his parents were a god: Cronus, and a nymph by the name of Philyra, the other Centaurs...well, they were born from a man and a cloud.

Man and a cloud? What? Well here's that story:
Once upon a time, Zeus made friends with a human man named Ixion. Ixion was mad after being punished by Dionysus and then ousted by his fellow royals, but Zeus took pity on the poor man and offered him a place to stay on Mount Olympus, the home of the gods. While there however, Ixion started looking at Hera in a way that Zeus did not like, which is surprising based on Zeus's track record. To test Ixion's friendship, Zeus came up with a plan.

One day, Ixion was sound asleep in a field, as you do, but upon waking he found that he was not alone. Laying next to him was a very naked Hera, awake and very much ready to mingle. They did mingle (ew), and Zeus's fears were confirmed. However, don't fret, that wasn't actually Hera. That "Hera" was a cloud/ cloud nymph that was made to look like Hera, dubbed Nephele, Zeus having created her just for this purpose. Ixion was cast out from Olympus, punished for eternity by being bound to a flaming wheel that constantly spun around and around. From the union between Ixion and Nephele came Centauros, a human child.

Here's where it gets really weird. Centauros was deformed, and often found that other humans disliked him, so he tended to isolate himself in other places. One such place was the sky, where he charted the stars and taught others to do the same. The other was Mount Pelion, a place teeming with mares, whom he felt especially close to. He then...mingled....with the mares to create the Centaur race. Yep. Thank you Greece.

Weaknesses: Centaurs can be taken care of rather easily. If you offer them alcohol, they'll be distracted, but that comes with the problem that they'll be even more rowdy. Hitting a Centaur with enough force will kill it, in case you're in one of those situations. Aim for the legs, horse legs are surprisingly fragile.

Author's note: Feel free to request more monsters! Also, please don't look up Centaur pictures on Google. You will find some cursed images.