Secret for now (Buddie fan fic) [COMPLETE]

Disaster Strikes Ch 38

Self harming again you have been warned⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️💉

Buck arrived at his apartment. He was givin a few day offs due to his injuries. Eddie usually visit him in his apartment along with christopher. Sometimes christopher stays with him for a sleepover.

It was a whole week of fun with christopher. But it also been torture for himself. He can't understand why he is feeling bad about himself. He started self harming again. Nobody seem to notice this. He just really needs the feeling of pain rather than emptiness.

He probably reach 20 red lines the while week of resting. He wears a hoddie which covers it so eddie won't notice it.

--- back at the station.

"Cap can I talk to you? It's private" Eddie ask and cap nodded. They head to his office to talk.

"So what can I do for you eddie?" Bobby ask.

"I don't know if the time is right or not... We only been dating for 5 months now... but I already knew him for 2 years now... So maybe--" Eddie is panicking as he speaks.

"What is it your trying to tell me Eddie?" Bobby ask.

"I .... want... to... propose to buck" Eddie said and whispered at the last part.

"Excuse me what?" Bobby did not hear the last part.

"I want to propose to buck" Eddie said it a bit shy as he looks down.

"That great then you have my blessing" Bobby replied.

Eddie was shock as he did not expect his captain to agree that easily.

"Wait, you ok with it. I know it kinda fast but I know him for a really long time" Eddie keep explaining but Bobby stop him.

"Hey you don't need to explain eddie. I know you love him and I know he loves you" Bobby said.

"Thank you cap. I'm really glad that I talk to you. Your his father figure and he looks up to you" Eddie said.

"He he you know buck. Anyway so when are you going to propose to him?" Bobby ask.

"Probably later after my shift" Eddie replied.

"Alright then. Good luck" Bobby said and Eddie opened the door.

After opening the door he saw Hen and Chim ease dropping on them. They quickly stand up and started fixing their uniform acting casual.

"You were ease dropping were you?" eddie ask.

Hen and Chim look at each other and shook their heads left and right.

"Are you sure about that?" Eddie teased.

"Fine we were ok" Chim gave up.

"He he so you heard that I'm proposing to buck?" Eddie ask.

"Yeah sorry we just got curious" Hen replied and apologize.

"No need to apologize I was going to tell you later but I guest I don't need to" Eddie said and walks away.

--Back at buck's apartment.

Buck started feeling dizzy. Probably from the med he been taking or the cuts on both his hands. He can't help it. He just needs it. Like it's a part of him anymore.

He walks to the restroom and grabs the blade from under the cup so eddie won't find out. He just needs one or two cuts that all.

Eddie walks to the door so excited as he did not even knock. He sprint to the living room and he notice he is not in there. He looks around and when he opened the door.

He saw buck with multiple cuts in his wrist and he is holding a tiny blade ready to cut himself. Eddie quickly grabs the blade from buck's hand.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Eddie yelled as he ask buck.

"I........ii..." Buck suddenly feel even more dizzier. His vision becoming foggy.

"Buck?" Eddie ask worried.

Buck was about to fall to the ground but eddie catch him just in time before he lands.

Eddie grabs his phone and Dial 911. While it's ringing he observe his boyfriend's cuts. He notice that some of is are still fresh and blood still dripping from it.

How can he be so stupid. He notice that buck is mostly quite and he started wearing hoddies or shirts with long sleeves. He should have know that something was wrong with him.

The 911 picks up and eddie told what happened.

After a while buck wakes up from his apartment with the 118 standing while eddie is holding his hand.

"What happened?" Buck ask.

"You lost conscious. Now let me ask you a question. Why are you self harming?" Bobby ask.

"I wasn't self harming... I ... was cutting vegetables and I slip" Buck tried to make it a joke but they were serious as hell.

"Buck I know this aren't cuts from an accident you did this on purpose" Hen replied.

"Ok you got me I was cutting myself" Buck confess.

"Why? Is it because of me buck?" Eddie ask.

"No it's not about you eddie your perfect--"Buck said and eddie interrupted him.

"Then why!?" Eddie ask.

"I just feel numb sometimes. I feel lost. L feel scared. scared that I almost died multiple time and I can't handle this pressure that someday I will be gone and you and christopher will be angry at me" Buck started crying.

"It's okay to be scared but I get it being a firefighter is not always guaranteed of surviving but that doesn't me you should hurt yourself about it. Don't you know I almost lost you twice and and I won't forgive my self if I lost you again. I won't" Eddie said as he hugs him.

"I sorry eddie. That I worried you. That I cut my self. I'm sorry" Buck cried even more as he hugs eddie tighter.

"Me and christopher will always be here for you buck, don't ever forget that" Eddie said and kiss buck's forehead.

Hey so I wanted to give you a head up that the book is almost complete. I prolong this fanfiction for far too long. It was supposed to be only 30 chapter long but your votes givin me many Ideas and determination to make it longer. If you want I can create a book 2 of buddie. But don't leave yet there are still few chapter left before I mark this as complete. 🥰😀