Such An Actress [h.s]

eighth

The plan for this morning after my awful night was to meet Harry at his house and drive together to the airport and meet the other boys.

I pull up to his place and park in my usual spot and head inside with my suitcases. "Hello?" I say and it echoes throughout the entire house. I walk into the kitchen and see coffee is made but Harry is nowhere in sight. If this man is still asleep when we have to leave in forty five minutes I am going to lose it.

I go up the stairs and straight to his room, opening the door and he's awake and packing.

"You're packing now?" I scold him.

"Well good morning to you too," He says smirking and I just stare at him.

"Kie, most of the stuff I'm wearing is picked out by stylists and that stuff is with them. This is just stuff I want to bring." He explains laughing at my use of my mum's voice. He walks towards me grabbing something from the dresser right by his door and then standing in front of me, "Thanks for not throwing coffee on me this time" He says and then kisses me on the cheek and maneuvering his way out the door of his room.

He's never kissed my cheek before so I don't know where that came from, I chose to ignore it and followed him to see him looking for something in the hallway closet, only to lock eyes with me and to just close it not grabbing anything. I ignore this too.

"A car is gonna be here in thirty minutes to take us to the airport so I suggest you finish up your packing and eat something," I tell him as he stands in front of me.

"I will mum," He says and I roll my eyes, turning around and going back down the stairs.

Usually when I wait for Harry, I just sit at his dining table and check emails and go over everything for his day. He likes to lallygag sometimes, so it takes him forever to get ready in the mornings.

With ten minutes to spare he's strolling down the stairs with his suitcase. He's wearing his typical black jeans, a white t-shirt and fuzzy looking vest and some sunglasses on his head.

"Nice vest," I say only half teasing.

"Thank you, I like it a lot," he says so sure of himself.

As for myself I was wearing some high waisted blue jeans and a tan nike hoodie. Helps to not draw too much attention to myself. Harry is the star of the show after all.

Harry eats something and the car is here so we pile our stuff in and get in the back seat and head to the airport.

"Sir, may I please play some music?" Harry politely asks the driver after a few minutes of silence.

"Of course, here's an aux cord for ya" The driver says handing him the cord.

Harry plugs in his phone and as he's choosing a song, I'm on my phone going over the itinerary for the hundredth time. Suddenly Gimme Shelter starts playing and I look up at the radio and then to Harry.

Harry's eyes are already on me and it's almost like he's expecting something from me. I'm not exactly sure what, but like a lot of things today, I ignore it.

I fight the urge to hum along to the song, not wanting to sing in front of Harry, and then it suddenly hits me.

When I slept over at his place a couple weeks ago this was the song I sang in his shower. He left sweats on the bed so he must have heard me.

"Can you change the song?" I ask looking at him.

"What why? Kiwi this is your favor-"

"Just please change the song Harry." I snap, cutting him off.

"Alright," He says timidly and the song changes to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

The rest of the car ride to the airport is silent aside from the music playing and I feel bad for snapping at him like that, I know he feels bad for how the auditions turned out and I have assured him so many times that it's not his fault but sometimes that embarrassing fact that I didn't make it sets in and singing in front of people makes me want to throw up.

At Christmas parties we used to always sing karaoke together. After that audition, I never sang with him again.

Harry didn't speak much to me the entire time waiting at the airport and on the plane. The only time we spoke was when he would ask me a question about the trip and I'd give him a short answer.

We met with the other boys at the airport and got on the plane together. I slept for the majority of it, not wanting to really talk to anyone. I woke up in time just before the plane landed and when I opened my eyes, Harry's eyes were on me as his journal was open and he was jotting something down. His eyes left mine when he saw I caught him staring.

Harry has a house in LA and the car ride was silent again.

"I'm sorry," I said breaking the silence looking back at Harry whose elbow was resting on the window and he had turned to look back at me.

"What are you sorry for?" He asks.

"For snapping at you before," I say.

"It's fine Kie, but I just... I'm trying to help," He says looking at his lap.

"Help? Help with what?" I ask genuinely confused.

"Help you.. help you get your confidence back, so you can sing again" He says sighing, "I miss hearing you sing," He finishes looking into my eyes.

I don't really know what to say. But from the look in his eyes I know this hurts him, and seeing him hurt breaks my heart.

"I- I know you think it's your fault that I don't sing anymore but, Harry it's not." I say putting my hand on his shoulder. "I don't need you to feel like you have to fix me, I'm fine."

"Kie I have to tell you something-" he starts but is then cut off by the driver telling us we're here.

"You can tell me later, let's just go and get settled alright?" I say patting him on the shoulder.

"Ok," he says in a whisper.

We get out of the car and make our way in the house. I go to the guest room I always stay in and I unpack. When I went to check Harry to see if he wanted anything to eat, he was laying on his stomach fast asleep. I went over, took his boots off for him and crouched down and brushed his Harry out of his face and kissed him on the forehead and mumbled a soft "Goodnight."

I'm just glad he didn't wake up otherwise that would have looked strange. He would have freaked.