Such An Actress [h.s]

eleventh

Just like old times.

I'm waking up with a heavy Harry on top of me. I don't remember how we got here but I'm not surprised. My arms are already around his shoulders and his arms are wrapped around my torso and his head is buried in the crook of my neck. I am a bit worried how I will escape his grasp so he doesn't wake up and freak out that I'm in his bed. I doubt he remembers much of the night.

I look over at the alarm clock and it says 5:00 am and I decided to just go back to bed. If he wakes up before me then he can have his freak out, I don't care. But right now I am going to appreciate a bit of this "not just friends" moment.

I remember right before he left for the X-Factor we had one last sleepover. And when we woke up like this I wasn't annoyed like I usually was, I was happy. It was then I realized I wanted to be the person he wakes up to every morning. Well too bad because he left that morning and I have never told him how I felt.

I close my eyes and fall back asleep instantly, after a while I'm woken up again to the bed shifting and a weight being lifted off of me. I turn on my side still half asleep and then I feel something on my face moving around, before trying to shoo it away I realize it's Harry.

He's tracing my freckles. I pretend I'm still asleep and don't move so he won't stop. If Harry doesn't have feelings for me then this is just rude. It's giving me a little false hope because he's still with Kendal.

I hear him sigh and then he gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom. I fling my eyes open and get out of bed, making my way to the guest room to shower and change before our flight this afternoon to New York for more of the press tour.

My music shuffles and on comes Gimme Shelter, I have the urge to sing it but for some reason I don't want to. I lean out of the shower and press the skip button and the song Fernando by ABBA comes on and I instantly relax. Belting out the notes, yet another song I'm ok with singing aloud.

I know the song is corny but, I love it.

There's then a knock on the door and I instantly freeze, I reach over and lower the volume of the music.

"Yeah?" I yell knowing Harry is on the other side of the door.

"I ran out of toothpaste, do you have some?" He asks through the door.

"Yeah, one sec," I say as I shut off the shower and grab a towel to wrap around my body. I grab the toothpaste and open the door with only a crack to hand him it. "Here"

"Fanks," He says with an "F" just like how he used to when we were kids.

I just laugh and close the door and continue my shower.

_______

After my shower, getting dressed and packed, I head down the stairs and see Harry's bags by the front door already. Usually he's not ready before me.

I walk into the kitchen, smelling chocolate chip pancakes, my favorite.

I see Harry all dressed and ready to go to the airport, his back to me, using a spatula to flip the pancakes and he's humming a song that I instantly recognize.

Fernando by ABBA

"Pancake?" He says turning around and setting a plate at the kitchen island with a stack of chocolate chip pancakes. I sit down and he takes a can of whipped cream, from god knows where and draws a smile on the top one. I look up at him and he has an apologetic look on his face.

"Ok I wanted to say sorry for being a complete and utter arse this trip and also thank you for keeping me alive last night, I don't even know what happened." He says looking down.

"I accept your apology, and you're welcome for last night," I say, "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Bits and bobbles, I just remember seeing you talk to the guys and then you got up, that's all I remember," I said and ended with his lips pressed together.

"So you don't remember me having to hold your hair back when you puked in the alley behind the club?" I asked, giggling and shoveling the pancakes in my mouth.

"Oh god, did anyone see?" He asks about to check his phone for paparazzi pictures.

"No, I made sure of it," I said.

"I'm guessing I got cuddly like I usually do when I'm pissed?" He asked and I swallowed what was left of the pancake.

"Uh yeah, when we were in the car you fell asleep on my lap and when we got back you asked me to spoon you," I said nervously laughing because I don't know how he'll react.

"Sounds about right, did anything else happen?" Harry says, laughing and scratching the back of his neck and brushing his finger under his nose. A habit he has when he gets nervous.

"Uh nope, nothing." I say leaving out the part where he almost kissed me and told me he didn't want me to call him his friend.

It's getting weird how nervous we get around each other all of a sudden, like there's this tension between us. I get a text from the driver Harry has in LA, that they're here to take us to the airport.

"Anyways," I say hoping to change the subject, "I think we should get going, the cars here"

"Yeah, I'll grab the bags," He says quickly and grabs both our bags before I can protest.

We made it in the car, and Harry asked for the aux cord again and the first song he plays is Fernando by ABBA. I look over at Harry and he has a look on his face like I'm about to explode any minute.

Instead of snapping, I smile and ask the driver to turn the volume up.

I know I should talk to Harry about what he said last night in the alley, about me not calling him my mate, but I just don't have the energy. Then there's him pushing me against a wall near the washrooms and almost kissing me. He doesn't even remember. For some reason I'm more disappointed then relieved. Because if we did kiss, he wouldn't even remember.

I can sense enough tension as it is and I don't even know where it's coming from. I'm not about to add more onto it.

Instead, I'm pushing it down and never going to bring it up.

Sounds like a great idea.