[DISCONTINUED]
"is that so? you really hurt my feelings, beanie" she heard dream say in the discord call.
beanie.
what, what the fuck. wait, wait, hold on- it has to be- it cant- it's him?
oh god, it's him, holy shit.
the voice, the "coincidental"...
- positioned in or relating to the sky, or outer space as observed in astronomy.
[ - ㊕๑.✶✧. ⊹ᝰ. ]
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'hm. nice. another minecraft player to fight.' emir thought fondly, mildly joking, and shut her phone off and charged it.
one she finished getting ready for bed, she laid down her said bed and stared at nothingness.
nothingness that rests behind her eyelids.
god fucking damnnit, insomnia.
sleepless and tireless nights like these feel like, your body is always finding ways to distract you and your mind is always racing with thoughts and ideas.
this is why she always keeps random things to fiddle or play with around her bed. in occasions like this, where she cant sleep and needs to pass by time.
she also keeps multiple notebooks. a sketch pad with her sketches in it, a watercolor sketchbook with her paintings, and a random notebook she's had since 7th grade that she puts ideas in.
she also has some of her makeup producs beside her, some of her barbie dolls she's had for decades, a rubics cube, a few crackers, pens and markers to fiddle with, and a few more almost useless things.
it helps her a bit, doing physical things that doesn't involve using technology devices such as her phone or pc.
sometimes when she really cant sleep, she'll open her phone and listen to music or youtube videos to help with the eerie feeling she gets from the silence around her.
silence.
oh god, does she hate it.
especially when sleeping.
its so deafening.
ironic, isn't it?
the sound of endless silent ringing in her ears, the sound of her thoughts running at full speed, the ideas in her head dropping into her all at once,
it's all so so loud.
so loud that it hurts, sometimes.
she doesn't get help, too.
her mom has always told her its nothing.
she hopes it is nothing.
emir reacher for her sketch pad and pencil, and sat up, putting them in her lap.
she drew and practiced shading and human proportions, just scribbling in the dim light.
she should open her led lights.
'i should open my led lights' she thought, and opened them with her remote for better light.
(fuck off emir, stealing my fuckin ideas -author)
after endless hours of drawing, more like 10 minutes, she put it down and moved on to another.
and started fiddling with her paint brushes, imagining a scenario in her head.
endless ideas and plot points for the imaginary world - story? - in her head.
plot points she cannot seem to connect.
heh. its imaginary, anyway. it doesn't have to make sense.
then, hours.
hours of that occured.
that went on for so long.
ofcourse, with the addition of her scribbling down good ideas she's come up with.
but oh god, she didn't notice time.
it felt like 5 minutes, how did that turn into 5 hours?
oh god, its 3 am now.
oh mf god.
she didn't even realize it.
(dumbass fuckin mf bitch)
one she thought she was done, and got tired (finally) of what she was doing, she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
just kidding, no, it wasn't deep.
she woke up a few times but we're not gonna talk about that.
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[ - ㊕๑.✶✧. ⊹ᝰ. ] (FIN.)
a/n: hi!! this is more of a filler chapter, +bad ending, and this is just to explain something that emir is struggling with.
emir is actually a little inspired by me myself, and i just explained how my insomnia feels.
so if this isnt accurate to what others w insomnia feel, im sorry! D:
