Submissive Desires

2 - NYC

The events of the day didn't truly hit Ciarren until the plane took off. As he felt the rumble of the plane and could hear the chatter of the surrounding people, it hit him that he was truly alone now. He couldn't rely on anyone for fear of them knowing Max or being harmed by him. He could feel his anxiety rising and did his best to keep calm, pulling harshly at his knuckles and using the pain to distract himself. As soon as they allowed for the tray table to come down, he quickly pulled out a sketchbook and started working on sketches for a website for a client. He put his headphones on, turning the music up loud enough that the person next to him could hear. The sketch wasn't one of his best, the lines shaky from the trembles wracking his body. The worried looks coming from the passengers surrounding him went unnoticed as he tried his best to stay focused on the project and not the mess that was his life. The passenger sitting directly next to him locked onto the bruises around his neck and the cuts peeking out of the hoodie on his shoulder. Ciarren could feel the eyes on him and looked up quickly and met the passengers' eyes. His reaction is instant as he tries to make himself smaller, putting his hood up and hunching his shoulders, before focusing back on the sketchbook. The passenger turns back to their book, choosing to ignore what they saw.

It felt like forever before the plane finally landed. Ciarren watches the overhead area holding his carry-on luggage to make sure no one takes while he holds his backpack on his lap. He decides to wait for everyone to exit the plane to minimize the chance of someone touching him. He is barely holding himself together and he knows that someone touching him send him into a panic attack. The plane finally clears out and he puts his backpack on, grabs the carry-on and exits the plan. He keeps his hood up and head down as he follows the crowd to baggage claim and waits patiently for his overly large suitcase that carries the rest of his belongings. It hit him that this is all he has, three bags and himself.

He follows the signs to the exit, calls a taxi, and requests for them to take him to a mid-priced hotel. Ciarren had more money than people thought. He worked from home, but he had a lot of clients that came to him for website design and for website up keep. He is one of the top rated website designers in the country, he just didn't tell people that and he most definitely didn't tell Max. The taxi ride was short with Ciarren focused on holding himself together while taking in the new surroundings. As soon as the taxi stopped, Ciarren handed him double the amount and quickly exited the taxi, grabbing all his luggage, and quickly entering the hotel. It takes no time for Ciarren to get a room. As soon as the door shuts behind him, he drops his bags along the wall and collapses into the bed. It is here he finally allows him to feel all the emotions he had been suppressing throughout the day. His body shakes with the force of his sobs, his face pressed into the pillow and his hands gripping the blankets with white knuckles, he tries to ground himself. Soon enough he cries himself to sleep only to be met with flashbacks of the previous nights and visions of Max breaking into the hotel room.

The next two days Ciarren didn't leave his room. He spent the time working on projects and searching for apartments. With everything going on he was behind on one of his projects, so that was his main goal. He was so caught up in the project and apartment hunting he only remembered to eat once a day. He would order room service, eating with one hand with the other sifting through papers or typing. It took three days for Ciarren to find a suitable apartment and another three days for him to finalize all the paperwork and order all the furniture. On the seventh day of him being in the city he was ready to leave the hotel. He knew he was becoming a recluse and the way he was coping was very unhealthy, but he didn't know any other way to handle everything. He was constantly on edge, just bumping into someone on the streets was enough to make him panic and run, so he did the only thing he could. He stayed inside as much as absolutely possible. He finally made it to the apartment to be met with many boxes in the center of the room containing the pieces to the new furniture with a small couch wrapped in plastic. He walks to the window, facing a beautiful view of the city. This was the reason he signed for this apartment. Taking a deep breath he set his bags down in the corner and got to work setting everything up. It was early the next morning by the time everything was set up and unpacked as he wanted it to be. There was a light grey love-seat sitting along one wall, a large desk taking up the entire wall with the window. The bedroom contained a simple queen sized bed with light grey bedding, a dresser, two night stands, and a flat screen TV. Everything had been put away. All the clothes folded into the dresser or hanging in the closet. HIs backpack had been emptied, the important documents tucked into the drawer of the nightstand and his laptop sitting on top. His computer had been completely set up on the desk with his projects stacked and organized in the corner.