Submissive Desires

3 - Nightmares

The panic attack felt never ending. He had experienced them numerous times ever since meeting Max. He knows it won't end until he either falls asleep or passes out, whichever comes first. His mind just wouldn't stop racing. It wouldn't stop picturing Max following the group of men into the café or sitting amongst them at the table or just blending into the crowd. Then it escalated into breaking into his apartment. He could hear the sound of the door slamming against the wall behind it. Footsteps stopping were coming towards him, the sounds of boots heavy on the wood flooring and getting louder with each step. His eyes opened in pure panic, his body froze, he couldn't breathe. He could see him. He could see Max coming towards him. He could feel the anger radiating off of him. He could hear him yelling at him for leaving, he could hear the threats of punishment. He would learn not to leave again. He didn't feel the first kick as his vision went dark.

Jesper walked into the office with a massive grin on his face. He looked at his lover who was typing away on his computer, a frustrated look on his face. It took everything in Jesper not to skip over to the desk, he could tell by Zareh's face that he wouldn't take any of his antics right now. Instead, Jesper walked over silently, placed the cartons of food on the edge of the desk and proceeded to gracefully kneel by his knee, resting his head on his thigh. Jesper sighed in relief as he felt Zareh run his fingers through his hair.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Jesper leaned into the touch of his Master.

"Not really, people are throwing fits about not being accepted for memberships. It's more annoying than anything." Jesper stood back up and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk as he switched into business mode.

"Speaking of memberships..." Zareh paused in his typing and looked at him curiously. "I had this weird interaction with this stranger at the café." Zareh watched the curiosity and concern light up his lovers face. "Anyway, he left behind these business cards and I think having a website for the club would be extremely beneficial for the clubs. We could have it set up so that only members can have access to it, logins and everything. That way we can have the scene calendar, room rentals, membership upgrades, hell even payments can go through it. It would take a major load off the emails." Jesper's face showed pure excitement and Zareh couldn't help his small smile, but he knew there was more to this request.

"What else?" Jesper tried to look innocently, trying to tell his Master that there was nothing to it. He knew that if he opened his mouth the truth would come out. All it took was for Zareh to raise his eyebrows for Jesper to start telling the story of what happened.

"We went to the café on the corner at the end of the block... It was just me, the bouncers, and Quinn. As soon as we walked in I noticed a small boy... well man... he was definitely over twenty-one." Jesper made eye contact with Zareh, something that happened rarely and only when he needed him to know how serious he was. "He was perfect Zar... His hair was so dark it looked blue. It was long, touching his shoulders and it looked so soft. His eyes were such a pretty grey or maybe they were blue. I couldn't really tell. But when we sat down, the boys got loud... and he panicked. The fear on his face Zar. I couldn't... I can't imagine what he had to have gone through to cause that much fear. He left in a hurry before I could even say anything, but he left some business cards on the table as well as paying for a small meal with a fifty." Jesper places one of the business cards on the desk for Zareh to look over and he watches as Zareh analyzes it. "I want to help him. I think we could benefit from the website, he could benefit from the job." Jesper pauses for a moment and Zareh looks up to see him playing with a fray on his jeans. Zareh continues to stare at him until he continues in a small voice. "I think he could be the last one. I think he could be what we have been looking for."

Zareh takes a deep breath at Jesper;s admission. They had tried a lot, many different people, looking for the perfect fit. Zareh had long since given up hope, but Jesper refused. Zareh opened his arms and motioned for him to come over, to which Jesper didn't hesitate. In just a moment Jesper was in his lap with his face in his neck. "Listen... If what you say is true then the likelihood of him being ready for a relationship is very very slim and that's assuming he would even be interested in our type of dynamic. However, I do think we could benefit from a website. I'm sick of answering questions about the fucking schedule. I have better things to do." Zareh can feel Jesper;s small laugh against his chest. "Let's start with friends, maybe help heal from whatever happened and if something comes from it then so be it, but I need you to promise me that you won't get your hopes up. I hate seeing you hurt every time it doesn't work out." Zareh's arms tighten around Jesper.