Young and Dumb (n.h au) {STILL EDITING}

Chapter 20

Young and Dumb - Chapter 20

Soundtrack for this chapter:

~ Hideaway (Kiesza)

~ Runaway (Ed Sheeran)

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"Rafa, we're going out tonight. Do you wanna come?" My brother asked.

"Who's going?"

"Franco, Ben, Louis, Liam, Niall-"

"I'm okay." He sighed and closed the door.

I called the girls over and we decided to have an ultimate sleepover in my house.

"Hi Riffi!" Clau shouted. It was her special nickname for me.

"Hi! Come on into la casa Carpenter."

After going to my room and throwing all their bags around, we all decided to go on my bed. There were many mattresses around the room so that everyone could sleep and my bed was the biggest so we all sat there.

"Let's do prank calls." Clau suggested. We all agreed to call random people acting like Mexican Wolverine from 22 Jumpstreet.

"Yo vato, Mexican Wolverine and shit here." Em said. She had the best Mexican accent.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm calling over to get me out of the penitentiary."

"What?"

We silent laughed as the prank went on and on.

When dinner time came we went to the kitchen. My parents had Chinese food. After eating we all walked to my room and gossiped about life. We talked about Clau and Harry, Bella and Liam, about Adriana, and also about Pretty Little Liars.

After we had our debate of who A was, we decided to watch a movie. When almost everyone was asleep I went out of my room to get a cup of water. It was midnight and I was very thirsty. Just when I was serving myself a cup of water, Simon walked into the kitchen with his friends.

"Hi Rafa." Everyone greeted me. I smiled faintly, trying to avoid Niall's eyes. Just when I was about to go out of the kitchen with my water bottle, Niall and I made eye contact. We stayed looking at each other and Niall smiled, making me look away and a tear streaming down my face.

I missed him.

I went upstairs really quickly and into my room, closing the door quietly.

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I don't know what I was going to do with my life. After everyone went to their houses, I literally stayed in bed all day, watching Pretty Little Liars and pouring my eyes out while I watched spoby scenes, envying them.

I missed Niall so much. I missed his blue eyes, I missed running my hand through his hair, wrapping my arms around his torso and hearing his heartbeat, I missed being able to kiss him whenever I wanted, and I missed just being able to be myself and laugh my ass off whenever I was with him.

"Can I come in?" I heard Simon knock on the door.

"Yeah."

"Hey."

"Hi."

"What's up.. are you okay?"

"Not really," I sighed, "I mean, I guess I am fine but I miss him a lot." I whispered. My brother sat on my bed.

"Remember how I used to make you happy when we were little?"

I laughed and nodded, "you used to talk with the cutest baby voice and tickle me until you managed a smile."

"I used to stay up talking to you when you were mad or sad and I used to make funny faces until you smiled."

I smiled. My brother smiled back and then frowned when I frowned, coming back to reality.

"You don't know how much it hurts to see you like this." He barely whispered.

"You probably thought what you did was a good idea at the moment, but right now," he motioned at my room and at all the signs of possible PND, "this is not what makes you happy, that's for sure."

"I just don't know what to do!" I covered my face with my hands and fell down on my bed.

"You're overthinking it too much.." My brother said before squeezing my knee and standing up.

I thought about what my brother had said to me.

In the time that I was dating Niall, I felt extremely happy. I felt like I could tell him whatever, like I could laugh with him and joke around and I felt like I was the queen of the world.

I loved how being with Niall meant nothing and everything at the same time. Niall gave me a such good and refreshing feeling and I seriously loved it.

I loved being able to wake up everyday to a good morning text from Niall. I loved that every night I went to sleep to a goodnight text from him. I loved that we could play any silly game and still pull it off, laughing our asses off.

But the thing I most loved about Niall is that he didn't really care what anyone thought. He was the most carefree person I ever met.

On the other hand, I wasn't sure if risking all of that for giving Niall a second chance was a good idea. I mean, I would love to be able to wake up to all of those things again, but then the same problems that broke us off this time would be there and would never leave.

Which meant, we had to live with it. Life is hard, and it's never gonna get any easier. Only more and more problems were gonna come, but learning to deal with them was a start.

I guess being carefree like Niall helped somehow.

I stood up from my bed, grabbing my phone.

I had already made my decision.

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