Good Girls // Luke Hemmings (DISCONTINUED)

riley - sixteen

hey pals omg so i'm so busy but i'm back on track and trying to get in the habit of updating again! i'm joining the dance team and i auditioned and rumour has it that i might be on the team but im crossing my fingers and pls pray for me too ilysm. 

xx

I knew that if Luke knew what I had done months before we started to talk, there was no way in Hell he would ever forgive me. At the time, I didn’t expect that we’d become such close friends and that I’d have to keep this from him. I didn’t think about it much until Luke and I became serious. Well, we aren’t serious. I mean, we’re more serious than we were before but still, we aren’t dating. Sometimes I think we are. He likes to hold my hand in public and kiss my cheek from time to time and it confuses me as to why he won’t just ask me out. I don’t know how I’d react either. I might end up throwing up, which is something I do not want to do. 

And it’s not like I want to rush into things. I appreciate whatever it is we have now. I don’t want to ruin it by asking Luke why I’m not his girlfriend and why he’s not my boyfriend. But do I really want to get into another relationship that quickly? It’s been months since Derrik and I broke up and I don’t want to go through the same thing again. I never want Luke to experience that either. I don’t ever want his heart to be broke. And if it is broken, I want to be the one to mend it. 

I curled near the fire place and held the blanket tighter around my body. It had been two weeks since the run-in with Derrik and I saw Luke from time to time. It was really awkward when we did see each other, but it was better than not seeing Luke at all. I talked to Michael and he said it was killing Luke, not speaking to me, but I’m not too sure I buy that. Luke didn’t seem uncomfortable by not speaking to me. In fact, it seemed like it was way before Luke and I even began to speak, minus the whole bullying part. All I want is for Luke and I to be on the same page again. We aren’t now and it’s bugging me. 

“Riley, why are you up so early?” I turned around to see my mother standing behind me and shrugged. 

“I don’t really know.” 

“What’s bugging you? You’ve been less talkative in the past two weeks that I’ve ever seen you.” She bent down and sat beside me, bringing her left arm to wrap itself around my shoulders. She gave me a squeeze before kissing my temple. I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder. 

“I did some things that weren’t really bad at the time, but now that I think about it, it’s not the right thing to do. Well, for him. This makes no sense,” I said, shaking my head. 

“Maybe it’ll make sense if you continue with your story,” she suggested.

“Luke. He found out I did something to him and what I did isn’t necessarily bad in ethics, but it’s bad for him at the time. I’m not a cruel person and you know that. I just don’t know what to do. Luke’s not talking to me and he’s not even acknowledging that I exist. I mean, he still says hello to me in the hallway, but very briefly. I don’t know what to do.” I let a tear fall onto the apple of my cheeks and sighed, burying my head in the crook of her neck. She stroked my hair and kissed my hair. 

“Darling, I don’t know what to say. I’m still a little hazy the whole issue, but you don’t have to explain it to me, I trust you. Honestly, I would talk to Luke. I know it kills you not talking to him and I know you want to. Do it tomorrow or as soon as possible, that’s my advice to you.” I nodded and yawned, closing my eyes. “Go to sleep,” she said. I headed up the stairs, dragging the blanket along as my mum put out the fire.

“Goodnight, mum.” 

I gathered my belongings for school. The year’s almost over and I have to brave it until the end of May. I gripped my book bag and headed for the cafeteria, rolling my eyes at Sarah, the girl who met me when I “changed”. She took the high road and went to sit with the popular crowd, completely ditching me after I befriended Luke. It’s not like I didn’t try to contact her at all, she just never wanted to hang out. After a couple of rounds, I dropped her completely and watched her precious band-loving self turn into a popular. 

I looked around and saw a blonde sitting on Luke’s lap. I swear, all movement slowed down and it was only me who seemed to notice them. She was giggling in Luke’s ear and he laughed at whatever she was saying, bouncing his leg up and down ever so slightly in adoration. My breath hitched and I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. I caught Michael’s eye and he gave me a sad expression. I took a deep breath before I hurried out of the cafeteria, throwing my lunch in the trash can. As quickly as possible, I headed to the library (the place where virtually no one ever goes) in order not to face anyone who’d see me red-eyes and my cheeks stained with salty tears. 

I wiped my cheek and opened the door. No one seemed to be in here –which I was thankful for– and I ventured to walk to the spot I usually hung out. But before I could, I felt a hand jerk me backward to make me turn around. Luke was standing there and his expression switched from confusion to a frown. 

I wiped my cheek before speaking. “Go away.” I attempted to turn around, but Luke forced me to look at him. His thumb was caressing my cheek, wiping away the tears while I tried to break free. “I don’t want to face you. I don’t want to be around you,” I hiccuped. “I don’t want to think about you anymore.” I cried harder and tried to keep my voice quieter, moving my head away from Luke. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

“No you’re not, I know you’re not. You would’ve waited before having another girl on your arm. Gosh, I’m so stupid for thinking I was way different than any girl you’ve been with. I just want to go, Luke. Leave me alone, this is just as bad as what Derrik did.” I lowered my head and tried to walk past him, but he wouldn’t take it. Instead, Luke gripped my jaw as he lowered him lips onto mine. I gave up all feeling in my body and melted into his, slowly giving up as I moved my lips against Luke’s. His lips and his touch were soft. His lips tasted sweet and all I wanted to do was keep on kissing his lips, as cheesy as that could’ve ever sounded. After a few moments, we both pulled away and Luke kissed my eyelids (I’m glad I didn’t wear makeup today). 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating. This is the most vulnerable I’ve ever seen Luke, and I thought it was when we first talked, really talked. I leaned up and kissed Luke’s forehead, despite him being so much taller than me. 

“Riley,” he began, “I’m absolute shit at this. I’ve had one girlfriend and that was in year seven. I’ve never been into this whole one girl type of thing until I met you. I love you, Riley Cole, and I don’t care that I’ve only been hanging out with you for a couple of months. I love the way you do that dorky dance every time you’re happy, I love the way you constantly tuck your hair behind your ears when you’re nervous, and I love you, absolutely everything about you.” I nuzzled my nose against his, pressing another kiss to his lips. 

“And I,” I said with a shake voice. “I love you, I can’t fathom just how much I do. Love’s a strong word, but it feels so right.” Luke sighed happily wrapped his arms around my small frame. I snaked mine around his waist and he held me as if someone was going to let me go. 

“You’re mine, okay? Mine only, only mine.”

“Yours, always.” 

“Mine.” The bell rang and Luke wiped my tears with his sleeve, interlocking his hand in mine before kissing my forehead, pushing the doors to the library open.