Missing You

Chapter One

Castiel:

It had been lonely since his fall but Castiel was loathe to burden the Winchesters with his problems. Since bringing Dean back from his run as a demon and saving Claire from herself his grace had faded until he was incredibly sick. An angel named Esau had stepped forward to help, cutting the rotting grace out of him thus rendering him human once more. Now not even the angels answered when he called. He was truly alone. Somehow a year after losing his grace he found himself in Chicago working in a school as a janitor. He'd learned enough from Sam and Dean to forge the necessary documents in order to get hired and he avoided everyone, staff and students alike in an attempt to remain unnoticed. Days bled together and he did his job, saving up whatever money he made and sending at least half of it to Claire. He only kept enough to eat and rent his room at the local men's center. He thought often of Dean, wondering if the elder Winchester hated him and how would he react if he picked up a phone and called him. He pushed the thought away and continued to work. He wouldn't burden Dean.

Dean:

Cas had up and disappeared after taking Claire away from that house that day and every day since he had wondered where the angel had gone. He didn't answer his cell and it was only a few short months later when he had called and gotten a woman instead of Cas' usual confused voicemail recording. She said she had just gotten that number and had no knowledge of anyone named Castiel. The emotion that tore through Dean in that particular moment had been a combination of anger and grief. He'd managed to push away another member of his constantly dwindling family and Cas was the one person he had never wanted to push away, aside from Sam of course. Realizing Cas was gone from his life, possibly forever left him with a huge gaping hole in his heart that he had no idea how to fix. He became even more irritable and quicker to anger and he knew Sam wanted to help but he didn't know how to let him. Occasionally Charlie came by and it was while they were out drinking one night that he finally decided he needed to get some things off his chest. Or it was Charlie's ability to get him to admit to things he didn't realize were on his mind that did it. Either way, after doing tequila shots he started talking. "He just left. No warning, nothing. He just took Jimmy's daughter and left. I've been trying to reach him but he turned his phone off. Last time I called some woman answered. It's not even his number anymore. I paid that bill every month and he got rid of it. Why would he do that?" There was raw pain in his voice and tears stung in his eyes. Charlie patted his arm. "Are you positive he's still alive? You said his grace was fading. What happens when an angel's grace is gone?" She asked, her words slurring. Dean frowned. "They die. Or they turn human. I'm not positive on the specifics." He slurred the word specifics and it came out pacifics. "So he could maybe still be alive!" She slapped the counter as a drunken thought entered her mind. "Let's go looking for him!" Dean looked over at her, one eye brow raised. "You're insane. We have no idea where to even look, or if he even wants to be found." She leaned closer, nearly falling off her stool in the process. "If he feels even a little bit towards you what you feel towards him, then trust me, he'll want to be found." Dean growled into his empty shot glass. "He's my friend Charlie. I care about him because he's my friend." He put emphasis on the word friend but he knew it was a lie even as the words left his mouth. Cas was more than just a friend. He was so much more than that.