Missing You

Chapter Three: It's Just a Little Email

Dean:

He was on his way back to the bunker with everything they would need to make a hearty lasagna for dinner when his phone rang. "Winchester." He said. "Dean? Guess what? I found Cas!" Charlie squealed in his ear. Dean felt as though his heart had stopped. He quickly pulled over and put the Impala in park. "What?!" "I found him! Hurry back, we can pack some clothes and go get him!" She was so full of excitement that it was hard not to feel a bit of it seeping into him too. "Where? Where is he?" He managed to ask. "Oh no, you come back here and get me. You're not going alone! You'll need me to locate him once we get there anyway." She knew him too well. He'd turn around right now and go after Cas if he thought he had half a chance of locating him on his own. "Come on! Get back here!" She was almost yelling in his ear. "I'll be there in five." He hung up and swung back onto the road. He drove faster than usual and got back to the bunker in less than three minutes. Charlie and Sam both were waiting by the bunker door for him. "Get the groceries." He said gruffly as he handed them both bags. "And you, start talking." He pointed at Charlie who was grinning from ear to ear. As they carried the bags into the kitchen Charlie discussed what she had figured out so far and Dean listened intently, though he was careful to show a moderate amount of disinterest when he saw how Sam was looking at him. "Help me get dinner ready. We can pack afterward and head out in the morning." He said to Charlie. "Sure." Charlie looked at Sam, a smug look on her face. He just smiled and shook his head. Apparently he didn't know his brother half as well as he thought he did.

The lasagna was put together and in the oven in less than an hour and they went to their rooms to pack. Dean was tossing a pair of jeans in his bag when Sam knocked on the open door. "You coming Sam?" He asked as he grabbed a couple of tee shirts and put them in the bag too. "No, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm doing some research for Garth anyway. But you guys have a good trip. Bring me back some deep dish pizza." Same replied. Dean nodded. "Yeah, sure." When he realized his brother was still standing there watching him he stopped packing and put his hands on his hips. "What?" He asked. Sam shook his head. "Nothing. I was just wondering what's going on between you and Cas, that's all." Dean's eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. "He's my friend and he belongs here with us. That's what's going on." Sam held up a hand. "Whoa, don't bite my head off. I get it, best friend, profound bond, really, I do get it. But Dean, seriously, is that all there is to it? I saw the way you too looked at each other." Dean was across the room and in Sam's face before he could react, fury blazing in his eyes. "Do not talk about things you know nothing about Sam, I'm' warning you and this is the only warning I will give you!" He was practically snarling but Sam didn't back down. Worst Dean would do was punch him, and he was still bigger than him and could throw just as mean a punch if he needed to. "Why do you assume that I won't understand? You think I don't understand feelings Dean? That I don't understand love? If that's what you think then you're a bigger idiot than I could ever imagine!" Sam realized he was shouting but Dean was backing down finally. He was still angry though. "Stop saying that damn it!" "What, that you love Cas? What is so wrong with that? He loves you too and you're both too stupid to see it! Go get him, tell him how you feel, tell him you love him, otherwise you don't have a chance in hell of convincing him to come back with you. He wants to feel wanted, needed, and you're so damn busy pushing everyone away, like you're pushing me right now. I'm done!" Sam threw his hands up in the air and stormed off. Charlie appeared in the doorway a moment later. "What was that about?" She asked, watching Sam disappear back into the living area. "Nothing. Stay out of it if you know what's good for you." Dean grumbled and returned to his bag. What the hell was he even doing? Just picking up and driving to Chicago on the off chance that Cas might be there? What if Cas wanted nothing to do with him? Was Sam right? He grimaced at the thought that his little brother could be right about this. He stood for a long time with his hands on his hips staring at the half filled bag, just thinking. "We're going. Cause if you chicken out, I'll go without you, and I don't even know what he looks like, but I'll figure it out." Charlie said, breaking him out of his revery. "No, I'm going, I'm just..." He sighed deeply and slowly started packing again. "I don't know what I'm going to do if he tells me to leave." The words came out softly and she almost didn't hear them. "Is that what you're afraid of? Dean, babe, you can't do anything in life without taking some risks. If you love him, you need to tell him, and let the cards fall where they may. You won't know for sure until you get there and see him face to face." He looked up at her, ready to argue the whole love thing again but decided against it. It was pointless. She and Sam were both right. "Goddamn it." He hissed. "Hey, why don't you try sending him an email? Since we know he's using it again. Just something quick. You don't have to spill your heart in it, but say something nice. Don't tell him we're coming though. We don't want to scare him off." She warned. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered what he could possibly put into an email. "I'll think about it." She nodded. "That's all I ask. I'm almost done packing. I can't wait to hit the road!" She clapped her hands and bounced on her heels in excitement. Half of his mouth turned up in a smile and he shook his head. "Alright Suzie Sunshine, get your crap together. We head out at first light." She nodded, giving him one last full power smile before bouncing out of his room. He closed the door and pulled his phone from his pocket. Sam had finally convinced him to move into the new century and get a smartphone and while he'd never tell his brother this, he had actually become rather adept at using it, and he pulled his email account up. He typed in Cas' email address as he sat down on the edge of his bed. What should he say? There was so much that needed to be said but he wasn't any good with words. He decided to keep it simple.

Cas, I've been trying to reach you but your phone is disconnected. I miss you. Call me.

Before he could convince himself otherwise he hit send. A small jolt of fear shot through him. Would Cas reply? Would he call? Only time would tell. For now he had a lasagna to get out of the oven.