𝙒𝙤𝙡𝙛𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙚 || 𝙍. 𝙇𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙣

Lily's Surprise

The reception for the funeral was in the afternoon at Ast's parents' house. Even though Ast didn't want to see her mother, she had to go, for Oscar. People drank and ate, celebrating Oscar's life. She should've been happy that so many people cared about Oscar, but she couldn't.

The funeral was horrible. Nothing went wrong though. In fact, it was beautiful. They honoured Oscar's life, acknowledged his successes. But it only justified that he really was gone.

Ast couldn't cry. She had already cried herself raw in the days leading up to the funeral. She felt no emotion. She still felt nothing. Everytime Tina and Ast locked eyes, Ast would always imagine it being her own funeral instead of Oscar's. At least she knew that her mother would've liked it.

People occasionally went up to Ast. "I'm sorry for your loss", they would say. She would give them a weak smile or a mumbled, "Thanks". But that was it, she didn't want to talk about him, if that was what they wanted.

Her friends were there, and she was grateful that they were. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Moody, Hagrid, Molly and Arthur Weasley were all there too. Some of his school friends were there, Ast recognised all of them. But Ast felt the most sorry for Jade. Jade had cried during the procession, and was sitting by herself now.

Ast walked up and sat down next to her. Jade had always been so nice to Ast, the least she could do was comfort her.

"How are you feeling?" Ast asked.

"Alright," Jade responded. "How about you? You're probably feeling worse."

"I'm coping."

Jade sighed as she stared at a picture of Oscar. Ast tended to avoid any pictures of him.

"I don't know if he told you this but, we were actually engaged."

Ast looked up at her. "What?"

"Yeah, we were planning on telling you lot the week after he- he..."

"Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry."

That just made Ast feel worse. She led Oscar to his death and he never even got to say goodbye to his fiancée. She couldn't breath again and she felt sick.

"Excuse me," Ast blurted out as she quickly stood up and left the room.

The hallway was just as full as the living room, so she squeezed through the people and exited through the front door. She walked towards a secluded place in the trees close to the house. There was a bench there, so she sat down. She had to clear the snow off first. She tried to focus on her breathing, and finally, it calmed down.

A twig cracked and she whipped her head around. James was approaching her bench. He sat down and looked at her.

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise," he assured.

"Thanks, but I wasn't crying," Ast chuckled.

"You don't have to be crying to be upset."

"I guess so,"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? It's not your fault. It was mine after all."

He looked at her in concern, his tone was firm. "It wasn't Ast, stop saying that."

"But it was. I was the one who dragged him there. I was the one who argued with him. I'm the one who didn't believe him when he said it was a trap. I'm the one who watched him die. I'm the one who didn't save him."

Ast leaned back on the bench and closed her eyes, feeling tears trickle into them. She let out a loud sigh. James didn't say anything, he leaned back on the bench too, contemplating what to say.