I've been looking for you?

grateful

Today I'm finally going to talk to maya and Leah. I hope it turns out okay. I'm going to see them at our favourite coffee shop. I put on a black cami top with white pants. It looks pretty cute. I love the days when I don't think I'm ugly, it's one of those days. I wear some rings. Oh my god I love rings. The cab's here. I reach the place almost 25 minutes before the planned time. I just wanted to relax on my own so that when I face them I'm prepared for whatever's to come. I settle down on the table which is secluded from the rest of the shop. I sit down when I receive a text.

Adam : I know you can do it, good luck!
I can? Hahah I'm freaking out but thanks
Adam : stop with the pleasantries

He's sweet. Oh they're here. I wave at them and they smile. They walk over to the table I'm sitting at.
"So fill us in with everything that's been up with you!" Leah says as soon as she sits in her chair.
"Let's order something first." Suggests Maya.
"Oh. Bagel and coffee for me then. Hot latte."

I honestly didn't expect this. I thought they'd be mad. But they seem...cool?

"You thought we'd be mad?" Maya says looking at my obviously confused face. "I mean we were but not really. It sucks that you don't think you can sharestuffs with us but it's cool as long as you're still willing to be around us. We just gotta try harder to make you feel at ease."

Oh no that's not it. I mean a part of it is but no. What no!
"Oh no I love you guys, I just don't how to say stuff it's not like I don't feel at ease around you. It's just that I am at unease with myself. And thank you I thought you're angry with me cos last night you two just went ahead and I was confused. Ah I should've cleared this up last night only."

"Oh no we just thought you were having a good time with that Adam guy. You two looked cute together. And we knew you needed time so we left you two on your own. We weren't mad or anything we've already come to terms with the fact that you're having a hard time accepting how you're changing." Leah makes me feel at ease by explaining last night's events. But I think maya senses how sensitive I am to talk about this situation and chimes in, "We don't need to talk about this. We just want you to know we're always and I mean ALWAYS around. Okay? And we love you. Now tell us what's up with you and Adam."

Oh my god I love these two. I had no idea they were paying so much attention to me. I feel dumb. But happy. I want to tell Adam about this as soon as I can. I tell Maya and Leah all about how Adam happened and also about Rio. Maya tells me about how she has been hanging around with this guy from the football team who's very hot. And surprisingly a very good person. Leah tells us about how she has finally given up on guys. They are losers and think with their dicks and not with their heads. We three chuckle and decide to stay over at Maya's place to spend some time together.
We leave the coffee shop and decide to meet back up at Maya's place after an hour. I just need to fetch some things like my homework and my uniform. I quickly pace inside my house and tell my mom about our plans. I fetch everything I need and hurry back downstairs. I quickly run up the stairs again open Sally's door and look at Adam.

"It went well!" I say raising my hand up to ask for a high five. His face lights up.
"Didn't expect anything less from you, champ!" He smiles wide and gives me a high five.
"Champ? Ewww." I say making a disgusted face. I kiss Sally on her cheek telling her I love her.

I pace downstairs kiss my mom bye and leave. I didn't expect any of this. Everything went way too great. It's nice to know that my friends are willing to wait. I didn't know we were this close. I've been only thinking about myself and haven't been paying much attention to everyone around me. There are people there who're thinking of me and that's why I'm able to be completely absorbed in myself. I need to make sure it's worth something in the end.

Hey so, idk I remembered I used to write something like this. Life has been weird for the past few months and yesterday night or like 4-5 nights ago I was feeling a bit weird so I decided to read this thing. I thought I'd die cringing but reading something I wrote provided me so much comfort. I don't know where this is going but I think I'm going to update a little. Someday when someone reads it I hope they like it. See you around!