Sugar High

God This Hurts

"Where have you been?!" I open the door to a very fresh faced, very clean, very hot looking Shawn Mendes and as much as I want to punch him and then slam the door in his face I also want to see just how stupid he thinks I am. Will he be honest when confronted with what I know or will he lie and try and squirm his way out of it like the fuckboy he is?

I don't answer his question I just open the door to invite him in and he walks in behind me, reaching for my waist and pulling my ass to his groin

"I missed you" he whispers in my ear as he nibbles on my neck and although my body reacts, I unwrap myself from his arms and lean against my counter "What's up?" He looks so innocent and concerned I can't help but wish he was being genuine and I could throw myself into his arms and seek comfort in his body

"How was last night?" I ask him the question and then wait for him to lie because I know he's about to lie

"It was a huge pile of horse shit. It was weird being the only guy there without a date especially when I knew I had the hottest girl of them all tied up at work"

Lie number 1. He was was there with Frankie, keep going Mendes because my opinion of you couldn't be much lower right now

"Oh but guess who turned up" he reaches and wipes something from my lip and when I pull back his eyes flood with hurt "Since when do you wear lipstick for work?" He asks and I again ignore the question

"You were telling me about last night" I cross my arms over my chest and wait for lie number 2

"Yeah" his voice is hesitant, his eyes unsure but I clench my jaw and try not to let him know that I know he's lying to me "Um... so Frankie turned up. Frankie Bonner you know who I mean right?"

What the fuck? He's being honest about Frankie? I just nod, too surprised by his honesty to speak

"Apparently Carmen has been trying to sell stories about me. Frankie was there as a colleague's date but we talked at the bar and thankfully she likes my money just as much as she likes my dick. 2k, problem solved. I'm starving, is there any of that toast on the go this morning and my coffee didn't taste the same yesterday when it wasn't in a mug"

He moves towards the bread bin and my heart is hammering in my chest at the thought he might actually be telling me the truth

"So you paid her off? No happy ending?"

"Well she tried, obviously, who wouldn't?" He smiles that beautiful smile that makes his dimples pop and my heart stop and then he waves the bread at me "What magic spell do I cast to turn this floppy bread into beautiful crunchy toast?"

I take it off him and drop it in to the toaster as I begin to panic. Shawn didn't sleep with Frankie, I can tell by his face, his words, his demeanour that he isn't lying but I kissed Miki, I let Miki touch me because I jumped to conclusions and I didn't trust my boyfriend. I feel my entire body begin to shake as I realise I'm probably about to lose him as I feared this morning that I would but because of me and my infidelity not his.

"So where were you, I came over here last night but the place was empty"

" I was working" my eyes are trained on the toaster, unable to meet his gaze

"Yeah but you finished early, I called in to see you, I spoke to Winnie? Strange little creature that she is" he shudders and then takes his toast from toaster and begins gathering a plate and other little extras he needs to complete his creation and I know the only way I can get out of this without completely destroying our relationship is honesty. I mean this is the guy that opening admits to cheating on his girlfriend multiple times, surely that means he understands it can happen for shit reasons and feel shit whilst it's happening. I swallow deep and then walk to him and place my hand over his.