Sugar High

What The Fuck Is Going On With Shawn?

2 months later

"What the fuck is going on with Shawn?" I hear Taylor's words but I'm too busy reading the online news report about Shawn's latest escapades too pay her much notice. "I swear he just seems to be jumping from one headline to the next these days"

I want to tell her that it's because he's stopped sleeping with the reporter that used to make these stories disappear but although Taylor and I have made some progress over the last couple of months we still aren't on 'let's share our secret' terms and we definitely aren't on 'let's talk about Shawn' terms.

"Joe says the investors are starting to lose patience with him"

"That's not information I need Taylor, Shawn and I aren't in contact right now, what he does or doesn't do is none of my business"

After deciding things weren't going to work we tried to stay close but we always found ourselves back in bed and it wasn't a good situation for either of us so I cut the cord and Shawn... Well he didn't take it so well. The fact Taylor and Joe got back together the night Shawn and I called it quits for good was one more thing I couldn't help but hold against her

"I know and look you can tell me to mind my own business but..."

"Mind your own business Taylor"

"It's just Joe has this guy, he really needs to get him on side, it could be massive for the company and could save Shawn's ass but it's just not working out so he thought we could go to dinner"

"And who is we?" I cross my arms and wait, this had better not be going where I think it's going

"Joe, me, this guy and... You"

"No"

"Camila please..."

"No!"

"You haven't been out at all since you cut Shawn off, it's just dinner and polite conversation that's all" she clasps her hands together as though she's praying for me to say yes but she would have more chance praying for a miracle

"Followed by groping, expectation and a knee to the balls, thanks for the invite Taylor but no thanks"

"Camila, Joe needs this guy on side and it will look good for Shawn and believe me he needs all the gold stars he can get right now"

She had to bring Shawn into it, same old Taylor, even when our relationship is barely held together by a threat she knows exactly how to get what she wants from me. She mouths the word 'please' and I feel like she just got that miricle she was praying for

"How old is he?"

"Twenty something" she looks suspicious and I get the feeling he's more likely to be thirty something"

"Is he nice?"

"You don't like nice Miss. Cabello"

"I'm not looking for a guy right now Taylor"

I know but let's just go out tonight, for Joe, for Shawn's company and then see where the night takes us"

"If he touches me his hands are being cut off"

"I will warn him, no touchy, I promise. Camila I appreciate this so much, especially after... Well, after everything"

I just nod and then walk towards my bedroom to find an outfit, a ball of guilt already beginning to form and a feeling of aprehension, what would Shawn say if he found out? Would he still care? Or has he already moved on to the next girl?

Fuck, I feel sick even at the thought of that

**************

Walking into the restaurant I can't help but feel like crying. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be wearing this dress or these heels, I don't want to have put on makeup or styled my hair for some guy that I don't even want to look at let alone speak to.

I know this sounds pathetic and I have always prided myself on being strong and independent but looking at myself in the mirror as we enter I feel like a total fraud.

I'm weak, I should have said no to Taylor. I should have fought harder for Shawn.

Week after week the headlines get worse, bar fights, gambling, drunk in public, a bust up in the boardroom...i was a coward when I walked away and I'm a fake walking in here today.

"Camila, you look like you're about to be publicly executed" Says Taylor as she loops her arm through mine, evidently forgetting we aren't at the physical contact stage of our relationship just yet so I pull away and tuck my hands into the pockets of my dress. I see the look of hurt in her eyes but I can't help it, we aren't like we were any more, my father saw to that, I don't know if we ever will be again.

"I shouldn't have come" I tell her but her hands are on my back and she practically pushes me into the seating area.

"He's over there" she says excitedly and my eyes search for Joe and his companion and sure enough there he is. His hair is short, shorter than Shawn's anyways and not a curl in sight, it's sculpted and styled into almost a quiff, it looks great but I cant help think it would look better on...

And then he turns to look at us and I want to hide behind Taylor for a second until the brandy coloured eyes latch on to mine and my knees almost buckle "Shawn" I whisper and the shock in my voice must be evident on my face because his beautiful mouth breaks out into an enormous grin

"Your date looks cute" Taylor speaks into my ear and I almost want to hug her with gratitude. I watch as Shawn stands up from his seat and walks towards us, smiling the entire time, his short hair looks great, better than great and I notice a new tattoo on his forearm as he pushes up the sleeves of his black shirt "Breathe" Taylor whispers as she pats my back but I don't think I remember how to

"Camila" his silky smooth voice sounds so delicious as he says my name and bends down to kiss my cheek and I'm enveloped in his scent and his warmth and I know this is where I should have always been. No matter how dangerous the risk, I should have taken it.

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