Sugar High

An Idiot In Love

Keep calm Shawn, keep calm and breathe, don't forget to breathe, blacking out at the crucial moment is not a good look and it's not going to get you a yes either.

I run my hands through my hair, making sure to leave the little 's' curl on my forehead because I love how Camila can never resist playing with it and then i begin to panic. Maybe this is too much, maybe it's too soon, I have all kinds of doubts nagging at my mind and self doubt is not something I'm used to and it's definitely not something I appreciate.

I begin to button up the black shirt that's been hanging open whilst I had my crisis of confidence and with each button I close I repeat in my mind

I am Shawn Fuckin Mendes

I am hot, I am rich, I am... also a fuckin freak for talking to myself like this

I shake my head hoping to shake out the doubt but the more I watch myself in the mirror the more I give in to it.

It's the last night of our vacation, we are heading to a final dinner and unbeknownst to Camila I'm about to ask her a question that's about to change the course of both of our lives. That's if I don't have a stroke from the stress of it first.

I reach down for my necklaces and fasten them, focusing on my breathing and trying not to seccomb to the panic attack thats building in my chest. Eventually, I manage to put on my socks and shoes and then my rings for good luck and I take the package from the bedside drawer and step out on to the beach in front of our beach hut and then take a seat at the candle lit table I had set up especially for tonight.

It looks amazing, it makes my heart pound just looking at it and then I think about how Camilas going to react when she sees it and I can't help but grin like a motherfuckin idiot

I was so eager to keep this a surprise that I practically threw Camila out of our hut and begged our neighbour to take her and let her change there. She wasn't impressed as you can imagine but I'm not used to this romance shit, it makes me nervous and when I'm nervous I panic.

Sitting at the table I down the glass of wine that's been poured and then motion to the server that I need more.

My heart is pounding and my palms are sweating. I feel disgusting beneath my $5000 dollar suit but I need to hold it together I tense my jaw and them clench my eye lids together begging my body to hold its self together as I hear Camila beginning to walk down the pathway to our table

"Shawn!" She gasps as she looks around but my eyes are fixed only on her. The tight fitted red dress clings tightly to her magnificent ass as the fabric in the front drops between her breasts and her hair flows like waves down her back.

"Wow" is all I can say before I'm on my feet and my arms are around her, my mouth on hers.

"You did all this for me?"

"I would do anything for you" I admit and can feel my cheeks begin to turn. The things this girl does to my body I'm sure I'm going to just spontaneously combust from her touch one day.

We sit to eat but I'm so anxious I feel sick so I decide to just bite the bullet and get it out of the way.

"Before we eat I have something to say" she looks at me with interested eyes and my heart literally stops dead in my chest.

I can't do this, I'm going to make a mess of it. I'm going to look like the world biggest idiot

"What is it?" She reaches and takes hold of my hand and my heart starts beating again and a calmness comes over me only she can invoke.

"I always thought I was the guy who had it all, y'know? The money, the looks, the girls" she grimaces at the last part but i forge ahead before I puke all over the beautiful table "but I didn't have anything that meant anything until I had you"

"Shawn!" She covers her mouth in surprise and that gives me the confidence boost that I need to see this through

"You have changed every part of me and my life for the better and I couldn't be more thankful to you or for you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you Camila"

"You won't, I feel the same"

Suddenly the table between us is too much distance so I get up and then kneel in the sand at her feet. Worshipping my queen the way I should have from the first time we ever met.

I take hold of both of her hands and hope she can see in my face how much i mean every word.

"I know I'm and asshole most of the time but I want you to know that when I say this I haven't meant anything more in my entire life"

Our gaze burns in to each other as my pulse calms and I can't help but smile at the most beautiful face I have ever seen

" I love you Camila, with every single part of me I love you so much" a tear slips from her eyes and I wipe it away before reaching into my back pocket. "I want you to have everything you want out of life because fuck knows you deserve that and a whole lot more" I place an envelope on the table and she looks at me confused.

"What is this?"

"It's the rest of your life. I paid for you to attend the design school you want to go to, you start in the fall"

"Shawn!" Her tears are flowing freely now and I feel my own beginning to burn as she wraps her arms around my neck and gently sobs against my skin.

"I love you, I want you to be happy" suddenly she pulls away from me and eyes me with terror

"But it's in New York, I would have to leave you, I don't want to leave you" again her arms are around me and that's when I hear her say it 'I love you too' and I know for a fact I'm about to fuckin cry. So I pull away so I can say what I have to say and not make it seem like any more of a mushy romcom than it already is.

"The board suggest I maybe get out of town, base myself in one of our other offices"

"New York?!" Her eyes sparkle with hope and I know with every part of me I'm doing the right thing

"Would that be okay? It's not to much? Too clingy?"

"Oh my God I love you" she throws herself towards me and we topple backwards onto the sand, her on top of me kissing my face, my nose, my mouth and all I can do is wrap my arms around her and smile like an idiot in love "We're moving to New York " she giggles between kisses

"We're moving to New York"

*So there's 1 more chapter left. Let me know if you want the story to end complete with a happy ending or maybe a dramatic cliff hanger. I have 2 options and I can't decide (c&s end up together in both)

*Thank you to everyone who has read this story it's been so fun to write and also thank you to my friend who sent the original idea and has stuck with me all the way through it. I'm so thankful for you D x