Okay, this is not how it is in the movies...
In the movies the guy watches the girl trying on sexy outfits, lingerie even and then as a reward for sitting so patiently she gives him head in the changing room but that's not happening for me, not today.
Instead I have 'Mopey Mila' traipsing from store to store, touching items but not trying, no matter how much I try to convince her there is no such thing as 'too short'. The last thing I want to do is ask her what's wrong and head down the rabbit hole that is 'sharing feelings' I'm still not fully recovered from the fact I talked myself into going on a real, live, date but I'm going to have to do something because the way this is going there's going to be no naked time at all and I can't have that. So I brace myself and prepare to talk myself into a whole world of trouble
"What's wrong?"
Shut up Shawn! Shut the hell up!!!
"You don't really want to know that do you?"
"No actually I don't but I asked so let's go with it okay?" she eyes me suspiciously whilst toying with something silky and I know if I'm going to have to do better than this if I want to see her in something like that. "Come on, spit it out I'm a busy man and I'm not seeing anywhere near as much flesh as I expected to" she snorts at my response and drops the silky whatever it was and picks up a thick, woolen sweater and I'm about to be sick at how much of her it would cover "Okay, okay, look Camila" I reach down and take hold of her hand and already my dick is tensing in preparation
Not so quick guy, we have to talk ourself out of this situation first. Bare with me.
"I brought you shopping because I thought it would be nice to do something other than fuck"
Bullshit did I! I brought her shopping so she would have something new for me to rip off of her next time we fucked
She looks at me as though she's trying to decide if she can trust me or not and that does something to my stomach to know that she doesn't trust me and she doesn't even know me yet
"Taylor and I aren't talking right now"
Girl drama?! Fuck, fuckitty, fuck! Good one Shawn, look where your big mouth got you this time, stuck in the middle of fucking girl drama!!!
"Oh" it's all I can manage as I panic at finding myself in the middle of a disaster zone
"See I told you that you didn't really want to know" she stomps off like a toddler that I just refused to give candy to and again my stomach shifts, why the fuck do I find a grown woman pouting like a child cute??? What the hell is wrong with me?
"Lunch?" I ask hopefully and she spins around like I just offered her diamonds
"A second date?"
What the fuck?!
"No. Lunch. Food. Wine. Drama free. I go to lunch with Jared and Joe all the time and they don't keep track and say oh, date 305 Shawn"
" Yeah but they probably don't go down on you in the bathroom afterwards do they?" she licks her lips as she walks towards me and I lose control of my tongue.
"Second date it is then, let's go" and I grab her hand and drag her from the store, slightly disappointed she's empty handed but eager to get to lunch and desperate for afters.
****************
"You know Camila, you can't keep blackmailing me into going on dates with you, it's not a great look" I don't even respond I just stare at him as though I'm bored and then take a sip of my very expensive Pinot Gregio
"I mean this has to be the last one, I can't keep coming out with you just to get sex, you're going to end up thinking we are actually dating" I can't tell if he's joking, being honest or testing the water so I make eye contact with the very cute guy at the next table and bite down on my bottom lip, he gets the hint and grins at me whist pointing to his phone and then taking a napkin and a pen into his hands.
"What the fucks that guy grinning at?" Shawn's eyes narrow as he watches the stranger scribble something on a napkin
"Me" I reply and Shawn's head turns in my direction so quickly I think he's maybe given himself whiplash
"What do you mean you?"
"And that's his number he's writing down, see him speaking to the waiter? I bet that napkin is in my hands by the end of this glass of wine"
"Motherfucker!"
"Careful Shawn, you appear to be turning a luminous shade of green there, you don't want our friendly neighbour to get the wrong impression and think we're actually dating do you?" I try not to laugh as Shawn's mouth opens and then closes like a guppies and when he grips the edge of the table until his knuckles turn white I know he's trying to control himself but what's he so mad about? The guy that thinks he stands a chance? Well he does cos he's cute and I'm single. Me? Because he knows how easy I can flip the tables on him and provoke reactions out of him he would rather I not see? Or himself for being so caught up in his ego he can't bring himself to admit that he might like me, just a little bit, for something other than sex? I'm not sure, but I'm not done provoking, I want to find out.
Unfortunately just as I'm about to continue provoking someone catches Shawn's eye and he breaks into a gigantic grin and I can only imagine a women is on the other end of his gaze
"Is that the smile that snares the girls?" I ask as I cross my arms and let him know with my gaze that I am not amused but he just turns the smile on me
"I don't know, is it working?" he winks as I attempt to find some words, him having totally blindsided me with that comment. "That's Michael Seinfeld, I have been trying to get him to come on board with me for months, how much alcohol do you think he's had? He looks pretty wobbly, right?"
"And it's barely lunch time. What a charmer" I roll my eyes but Shawn's up from his seat and heading towards the unstable man
"Shawn!" I yell and everyone turns to look at me but I don't care, he's ditching me for a middle aged man with a drinking problem and I'm not standing for it "By the way I'm leaving!" I hell across the diningroom and the entire room falls silent, the cute guy moves to stand up but Shawn pins him with such a violent look he immediately drops back into his seat "Fuckin wimp!" I spit at him and pick up my purse, kicking my seat to the table and beginning to stomp away when I hear his voice
"Mila!" I stop but don't turn around "What about the bathroom?"
This absolute peice of shit!
"Use your hand Shawn!" I yell and the dining room gasps in disgust and then I turn to face him, his eyes wide, his mouth wider "Or if you're really that desperate for head why don't you ask your friend there, you'll go down on him, won't you Mikey" I wink at the drunk man and then stick my middle finger up at Shawn and exit the restaurant knowing I'm going home alone and I can't even explain to Taylor why.
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Sugar High
Fanfic"There's no way you need to pay for a date" "No, you're right I don't but I want to" "You want to pay a thousand dollars for something you could get for free, is that your flaw? Your gorgeous and hot and smell like heaven but you're also completel...
