Diary Of A Victim.

9

During lunch, Sila came towards me. I didn't really know why. She didn't look like she wanted to eat me up alive. She looked horrible like she cried the whole night.
"Hey, can I talk to you?" She asked with pleading eyes.
"Yes, what's up. You can sit here." I said
"I wanted to ask for your forgiveness. I know what I've done is unforgivable but I hope you find it in you to forgive me anyday." She said sincerely.
" I am not the one who you should ask for it. But since she is no longer with us, I am sure she already did forgive you. You know, once you realise the wrong you've done and has remorse for it , you are a changed person. I forgive you." I said with a smile.
"I can help you with whatever you want." She offered.
"No it's fine.. " I said.
"No I insist. Please let me help you."
"Okay.. I'll let you know." I said seeing she was persistent on helping me. She soon walked away from me and joined her ring of friends.
All these time, Ian stood at the cornor staring at me. It creeped the hell out of me. But I didn't show any weakness. I needed to do the right thing and for that I have to be brave.

I couldn't file a complaint without any evidence. Or even if I did he dad can bail him out soon . The whole world should know what he has done. He should beg for forgiveness and he should surrender himself. I can't stand seeing him happy. I averted my gaze from him and soon got the hell out of that place.

I was literally so happy that I smiled genuinely after so long. Many of them came forward ready to help me with this. Many offered to do whatever they can and also said they were not afraid. I was happy, afterall there are good hearts too. While walking out of the school I met with a very furious Ian. He knew what was going on. He knew it was end game for him.
"You think by befriending all these cowards , you can come against me." He asked with gritted teeth.
"I don't think , I know." I replied casually.
"You just wait...you will eventually go through whatever happened to your sister." He said again and walked away again.
I cannot lie when I say my heart skipped a beat. I was not scared I was terrified. I knew I had to be very careful . So I decided to tell my friends everything.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Anna coming towards me.
"Hey, what did Ian want." She asked while opening the car door.
"I have to speak to you seriously. Call Trevor and Sila too." I said surprised by myself. I wasn't completely sure about trusting Sila, but I wanted more people. I was ready to trust her, hell I was ready to die even then why not do anything that might help.
"Sila?? You mean the bitch that disrespected Delilah." She asked with disgust.
"Yes, she apologized and I need more people. She can help, I am sure." I confirmed.
"Whatever you say, ma'am." She said with a salute and took out her phone .
Once we reached home, we went directly to my room. I took out the diary and read a few pages.

10th September 2020
Thursday.

Dear diary,

It's really heartbreaking to walk infront of them like nothing happened. It's like I am forced to face them. There's no escape now. I have to face them. Whenever I gather the courage to look up at them. They look right at me with their disgusting smirks. It's hard....treating them like normal students . But then I thought, why should I feel scared to look up at them .
It's not me who should be ashamed it's them. But I feel weak. I can't file a complaint , I can't tell my parents or anyone. I can't put them in danger. He won't hesitate to kill me or them . They can get away with anything. There's only one way infront of me.....either to expose him to everyone but I can't do that without an evidence...or kill. I don't have anything else to lose. My family.... No I can't leave them. What will I do. . I need to do something. I can't live like this. With all these nightmares and fear and disgust. Disgusted by myself. I try to be brave but I feel like trash. Used trash. Someone help me....god...

I have to be brave.... I can't just live like this.... I am going insane....if I dont react now, I will end myself ....I am not the convict....I am not the convict....I am not the convict......they are....they bullied me...they made me feel worthless.....they made me feel disgusted by myself.....they raped me....used me....they took all the innocence in me....they are the culprits who deserve death ....painful death..... not me... I deserve the World....I deserve my family...I deserve all the happiness....I deserve peace....and I deserve justice....
That's exactly what I am going to do. Find peace....take revenge.... They should never hurt another human being that way... No one deserve this ....I want to change this.... If I have to change anything....it's me....I need to change.... I am not going to be weak anymore....I am a woman... I am brave... I will find peace...

Delilah.....

Never in my life I have felt this encouraged before. My blood was boiling . Peace, justice, revenge....I won't let this go easily...