Diary Of A Victim.

18

Ian's POV.

"Mom,what is it? Is everything alright?" My mom rarely called me over to talk seriously. So I wondered what she wanted right now.

"I am fine, just not mentally." Okay.. she was literally scaring me .

"What is it mom. Do you want me to take you to the hospital." Panick built in me.

"I don't think any hospital can cure me right now." She sternly said.

" What is it mom." I asked walking closer to her. But with each step I took forward she took a step backward.

"Stop right there." She was almost yelling at me.

" You're being ridiculous, mom." I scoffed.

"Am I ?? "She asked with her furrowed eyebrows.

" Stop mom . What is your problem." I asked. She was annoying the shit outta me.

" If I don't stop , will you rape me too . Or better yet murder me. " She yelled, looking at each one of our faces.

"What? What are you talking about. " I very well knew what she meant and I was not going to let anyone who made this mess let out that easily.

"Don't play dumb, Ian. How could you even stand infront of me now ?" Her eyes pricked with tears.

"Mom, calm down its not a big deal. I know what to do."

" Big deal!!! Who even are you Ian" she screamed.

" Mom it's me . I am still the same old Ian."

"I guess it took me a while to know the real face of my son. That word now disgusts me. You are no longer my son ." She spat. It broke my heart. My own mother disowning me. She is all I have.

"Mom , you don't mean that ... Please." I felt my eyes brimming with tears.

"Oh, I meant every word I said. I am disgusted to call you my son. The one who took a girl's everything. A girl with hopes and dreams and wishes. And you are still standing here. How could you be a heartless criminal . " She was crying uncontrollably .

" Mom... Please. Just calm down."  I yelled in between her sobbing . Tears fell out of my eyes too. Hearing this from my mother hit me differently.

"Calm down.!!! You disgust me. Tell me truthfully Ian. Is she the only one you destroyed.?" I know there's no point in lying so, I opened up.

" No, there are more. But I didn't....I .. I didn't " I trailed off not knowing what to tell her . Should I tell her that I didn't kill anyone other than Delilah. I didn't know what to tell anymore.

"You didn't what Ian?? Kill anyone???? Was it just Delilah. The nerve you have to say that. The audacity you have to walk around in this planet like you own it.  You raped God knows how many young girls and killed an innocent girl just for your thirst. " She yelled. Her words brought up an emotion in my heart. Was it guilt. I guess it is. I shouldn't let guilt eat me up.

"Not to forget you bullied and mentally abused her beforehand . Are you human Ian. You are not my son. I say it again... You. Are. Not. My. Son. I hate every fibre of you. " She yelled at my face. I cried .I don't control myself . I cried.

"Mom , please ...." I started to say something but I was cut off.

"You know you are just like your filthy father. He abused and hurted me for all these years. But I put up with all his shit just for you. Just so I could be there for you . But you... You are a disgusting human who doesn't care about anyone else but him. And you all . I've called your parents too. You'll not get away."  All three of them walked out of the door and I was left alone with my mother. I never knew my Father hurted her.

"I will kill him . " I muttered.

"Kill whom exactly Ian. You are no different than him . If anything, you are far more worse than him and you deserve no mercy. You deserve a very painful death. " Her sobbing made it harder for me to control mine.

"Mom I'll do anything. Please mom. I will die myself. "  I cried.

"That'll be too easy on you Ian. You don't deserve an easy death. And did you feel the pain on knowing your father abused me. Just imagine what all they went through. " Guilt.  Guilt formed its way to my heart.

"Are women so worthless to you Ian. Just remember where you came from. Imagine someone sexually harassing me. What would you do? You don't know the value of women. " She sobbed a lot more lighter than before.

"Since you said you'll do anything, you'll surrender yourself. " I was surprised to hear it from her. I shot my glance up.

"Mom , not that please. I can't go to jail mom." I cried.

"You will. You'll surrender along with your dirty pathetic friends not before apologizing on your knees infront of Delilah's grave. " She didn't wait for me to speak another word as she quickly walked away and out of the house. I broke down into tears and stumbled on the couch.