"Momma!"
I was stunned when I felt Hezekiah's hands on mine. He tugged my dress and pouted because I was not looking at him.
"Momma, I already washed my hands." He said cutely and showed me his wet hands.
Hindi ako makagalaw. Para akong napako sa aking kinatatayuan. I don't know what to do.
"This is Hezekiah anak ng kapatid ko. Nabuntis si Shia ng maaga, pabaya kasi." She laughed. It's obvious that she's insulting me.
Tumingin ako sa aking kapatid ngunit imbes na sa kaniya ako tumingin kay Noah napunta ang aking mga mata.
His eyes pierced through me. I saw how he clenched his jaw. I saw anger, pain and so many questions in his eyes while looking at me and Hezekiah.
"Excuse me, Sir and Ma'am, I'll talk to your daughter," Noah said with authority. I can feel the tension building up.
"Yes, sure!" Mommy exclaimed. Halos itulak niya na ang kapatid ko kay Noah. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanila nang maramdaman ang kirot sa aking puso.
"No, not her, Ma'am," Noah said that made my mom and sister perplexed.
"H-ha?" My sister stuttered.
"I will talk with Shia." He uttered.
Napatingin sa akin ang kapatid ko at nakita ko ang selos at galit sa mga mata niya, kung wala siguro si Noah baka kanina niya pa ako inaway at magpapakampi na naman kay mommy.
"Follow me." Noah motioned me to follow him. I don't know if I'm going to obey him or not but I choose to follow him.
"Momma, where are you going?" Hezekiah asked while his hands are still on my dress.
"Stay here, baby. I'll just talk to a friend. Eat your dessert on the table and I'll come back when you finished it." I told him and kissed his temples.
"Okay, Momma!" He replied and immediately go back to his set and started eating his ice cream cake.
I saw Noah outside, he's looking at the vast garden of our mansion.
When he felt my presence he turned his back and our eyes met. The way he looks feels something. He changed a lot and I'm happy to see him successful.
Hindi na siya ang Noah ko.
Somebody owns him and that's not me.
I smiled bitterly. I swallowed the lump on my throat. I'm happy for him, he found the happiness that I failed to gave him before.
He saved me when I'm already drowning from everything but I left him without even saying goodbye.
Mukhang sinasampal ako ng katotohanan at pinapamukha sa akin kung ano ang sinayang at iniwan ko.
That's the sad reality, one day you're his world, and the next day you're just one of the collateral damage, trash in his life to be exact.
"He's mine. That's my son, Shia." Noah breathed heavily.
"Putangina, bakit? Minahal lang naman kita pero bakit mo ako sinasaktan ng ganito?" He yelled.
I cried when I saw the pain in his eyes.
"S-sorry..." that's the only thing that I can say to him.
"Binigay ko lahat ng makakaya ko, sinamahan kita sa lahat ng sakit at saya mo kasi putangina mahal na mahal kita!" Umigting ang kaniyang panga at kasabay noon ang pagtulo ng luha niya.
"Ginawa ko lahat... Inubos ko sarili ko para sa'yo kasi hindi ko kayang mawala ka. Ang daya mo, hindi kita iniwan pero ikaw nakaya mo kong iwanan kasi alam mong mahal na mahal kita." He punched the wall behind me and it bleed.
"Ano bang ginawa ko sa'yo? Bakit pati anak ko tinago mo? Bakit pati ang pagiging ama ko sa anak ko pinagkait mo sa akin? Tangina, Shia!" He whispered and it pains me hearing what he said.
I realize that I'm so selfish. Masyado akong kinain ng takot at sakit. Masyado akong naging duwag.
"N-Natakot ako na baka hindi mo tanggapin. Natakot ako sa mga magulang ko. Natakot ako para sa'yo. We both want to achieve our dreams kaya alam kong mahihirapan tayo magtaguyod ng pamilya kaya naisip ko na kahit ako nalang ang maghirap dahil masaya na akong malaman na magiging succesful ka." I confessed while crying.
"I'm a failure so I don't want you to be with me because you deserve someone better. Someone who will not make you her punching bag every time she's having an anxiety attack. You deserve someone who's not mentally stable. Someone who's not depressed and a damsel in distress." I sobbed.
"No, you're not a burden to me, you will never be. Where did we go wrong? Bakit tayo umabot sa ganito?" He probed.
"I'm sorry for keeping Hezekiah away from you. Natakot lang ako sa lahat. Natakot ako na baka pati siya mawala sa akin. Hezekiah is my life. Don't take him away from me, hindi ko kakayanin." Sunod-sunod na tumulo ang luha ko na parang gripo.
"I want to be the father of our son." He said with finality.
"Sige, I'll introduce you to him. He likes pancakes, his favorite color is red. He's also an honor student. He's obedient and respectful towards other people. He once asked about you and he wants to meet his father." I told him.
"Weekday or weekends? If you want to have him during the weekdays you should always ready his uniform and pack his meal every day." I uttered and I saw how his expression changed.
"I don't want that. My son deserves a whole family. I want the two of you to stay with me." He looked at me coldly.
"But I have my house pwede namang si Hezekiah nalang, and I thought you and my sister were a thing. I respect the relationship between the two of you." I can't imagine living with Noah.
"Hindi kami ng kapatid mo. We never had a relationship. Nilalapitan ko siya kasi akala ko alam niya kung nasaan ka and I respect you, I would never have a relationship with your sister. Ang laki laki ng respeto ko sa'yo, Shia. Hindi ko magagawa 'yon. I know your issues with her. I know how she inflicted pain on you." He said gently.
So my sister made up a story that she and Noah were a thing? She's too desperate.
"Momma, I finished my dessert and you never came back, I waited for you." I heard Hezekiah's voice from the door.
"Baby, come here," I called him.
"You want to meet your Dad?" I asked him. His innocent eyes looked at me and he nodded.
"Yes, momma! Is he here? Where is he?" Hezekiah asked with a smile on his face. He looks really happy.
"I'm here, anak..." Noah said and Hezekiah looked at him.
My heart melts when I saw Hezekiah's tears and he immediately hugged Noah.
"Papa! Finally, you're here! Momma said that you're busy and I understand that. Hezekiah is happy that you're here!" He hugged him tightly.
"We'll go home now." Noah commanded and I nodded. Hezekiah didn't respond and he just stared at his father. He's probably so amuse right now.
