Dying In Style

Seven

The boys leave for tour next week, so they've been dragging me to rehearsals.

I'm currently sitting on the hard wooden floors, leaning against a wall full of mirrors while the boys rehearse their boy band dance moves.

Zach's been avoiding eye contact with me since he got here. Jack keeps doing random dance moves trying to impress the guys but it's actually quite funny.

I'm scrolling through Instagram when Jonah walks up to me and kicks my shoe to get my attention.

"Yes?" I ask, looking up from my phone

"Come dance with us" Jonah reaches down his hand for me to take

"Jonah, you know I don't dance" I roll my eyes looking back at my phone but he grabs it out of my hands

"You can have your phone back once we're done rehearsals" I sigh and take his hand to help me up.

I walk over and stand in between Jack and Corbyn as they teach me a small dance. The five of us dance and laugh while Zach stands to the side with his jaw clenched going to take a sip of his water.

I look over towards Zach and smile, but he rolls his eyes. I focus back into the dance when I feel a pair of hands grab onto my waist.

"Y/n, you need to loosen up your hips. Sway them like this" Jack says guiding my hips in the right motion.

I sway my hips in the way Jack was telling me and we have a good time until I feel a hand on my wrist pulling me towards the door

"We need to talk" Zach says as we leave the dance studio room.

Zach let's go of my wrist and closes the door.

"What are you doing?" He asks turning to look at me

"What do you mean? I was just dancing" I ask confused

"You're in there, flirting with Jack right in front of me. Why?" He has no expression on his face

"I'm sorry.. I didn't realize I was flirting. I was just trying to have some fun" I look down.

He picks up my chin, and looks deep into my eyes. I never realized how much I liked his brown eyes. He starts to lean in to kiss me but I stop him by putting a hand on his chest.

"Are you still with Kay?" I don't break eye contact. He moves his hand away from my face and looks down

"I am"

"Then you know we can't do this" I walk back into the studio. All the guys turn to look at me and smile.

"Where were we?" I ask walking back over to them to dance.

I danced with the boys for another hour or so until we stopped to take a break for water and snacks.

We're all sitting in a circle, taking turns throwing goldfish crackers into each other's mouths when Corbyn speaks up

"Hey y/n, I was wondering if you like to come on tour with us for a bit?" Zach chokes on his water

"What?" Zach asks

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude" I ask knowing they normally can't bring guests on tour unless it's family

"Yeah! We'll just say you're Jack's girlfriend! It'll be fine" Daniel laughs. I look over at Zach and he rolls his eyes.

"You'll only be coming to a few of the American shows, but we'd all like to have you with us for a while" Jack adds in, Zach laughs

"Of course, I'd love to come with you guys!" I immediately regret it. They're probably only asking me to come so they can watch over me.

Zach stands up, which causes everyone to look in his direction.

"Can we just get back to dancing? No more distractions" He sends me a dirty look.

"Yeah man, let's get too it" Jonah says and all the boys nod and stand up.

I walk back to my spot, leaning on the wall, watching them dance.

~

Once the boys were finished practicing for the day, Jonah walks back over and gives me my phone back.

As the boys were packing up their stuff, Zach shoves all his clothes in his bag and storms out without saying a word. As I watch him leave I look down to the floor.

Jack walks over to me and puts his arm around my shoulder and starts walking me towards the door.

"Hey girlfriend" He says laughing

"Well, hello boyfriend" I laugh along with him

"So when am I taking you out on our first date?" Jack asks as we make it out to his car

"What? A date?" I laugh as he opens the passenger side door for me

"Yeah, I figured it might be easier to get you on tour as my fake girlfriend if we have some nice date photos" Jack says as he shuts my door, walking over to get in his side

"Damn, and I thought, the Jack Avery was asking me out on a date" I laugh as we begin to drive out of the studio parking lot

"No" He chuckles "We all know you're in love with Zach"

Just the mention of his name brings my mood down. I sink back into my seat and lay my head on the window with my eyes closed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jack asks after a couple minutes of driving

"Yeah, just tired" I send him a fake smile, still without opening my eyes.

We drive back to my apartment, which took well over an hour due to LA traffic. I was silent the whole ride while Jack sang along to songs on the radio. I feel the car stop, and Jack rests his hand on my knee

"Hey y/n, we're here" He says in a low voice

"Thanks for driving me home" I grab my bag and start opening the door

"Hey, I'm gonna go home and shower, do you want me to come back and hangout tonight, or will you be okay on your own?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

"I'm good Jack, don't worry"

I get out of his car and wave goodbye. He doesn't drive off until he sees me get into my apartment building.

I make my way up to my apartment and slowly open the door. This is the first time I'll be alone in my own apartment since the incident. I put the keys in the bowl beside the door and look around.

I'm alone!

Think of all the things I could do.

I could dance around naked if I wanted to!

Definitely not going to do that, but I could!

For starters, I go to have a shower, you work up a sweat when it's not even your rehearsal. When I get done, I get changed into some sweat pants and a large hoodie and head to my living room to watch some movies.

I get about half way through the movie when a Frank Sinatra song comes on. I immediately recognize it from my record. Memories of that night start to replay in my head.

The dress,
The music,
The pills.

I turn around on the couch and look into the kitchen to see the spot where I collapsed on the floor. I wipe a tear that fell from my eye that I didn't even notice fall.

I get up off the couch and walk over, not taking my eyes off the spot.

As I walk over, more and more tears fall down my face.

I sit down on the floor, in the same spot I collapsed, bringing my knees to my chest and cry my heart out.

I shouldn't have been left alone.