"But mom, I always called him bhai. How can I just switch my brotherly feelings to husband-ly feelings?" I tried to say. I mean I know it's quite normal in our culture to marry our cousin but I never thought it would be me someday doing that.
"Beta, don't worry everything will be fine . It's Allah’s will, okay? You just have to accept it. Start thinking about him in a different light." she said caressing my hairs. I just snuggled more into her stomach and said "I will try."
So basically she is telling me that I am engaged to my cousin, Arsalan bhai oops sorry, Arsalan since the day I was born. They didn't want it to impact my life so didn't inform me while he knew it from start. Now as I have turned 21 they want us to get married so finally thought of informing me.
But Arsalan bhai, he never did anything that could even give me a hint about it. In fact, he always treated me like a sister. Is he not happy with this? I know being the sacrificing God that he is, he won't reject our elders. But I can't sacrifice my whole life just because he wants to be "THE GREAT". I need to talk to him. I didn't realize when I slept off in my mother's lap while thinking all that.
..........
"Arsalan bhai." I called him and sat on the other chair placed on the terrace. I saw him coming here so I followed him. This would be the best place to talk to him and clarify the matter.
He looked at me with a smile and something different in his eyes which I never noticed before. He had blue eyes. It's surprising because neither of his parents have blue eyes. In fact nobody has in our whole family. Where did he get them from then? Huh I wish I could have them. Allah why such injustice huh! You could have given them to me.
I came out of my thoughts by a throat clearing voice. I quickly looked away but didn't miss the look he had on his face. He was looking at me with amusement with a soft beautiful smile playing on his lips. Ughh I was checking him out. Uff ammi words have truly affected my Brain.
I cleared my throat and looked at him. I need to clear this out first before I embarrass myself even more.
"I want to talk to you about the wedding discussions going on." I started.
"Our wedding discussion Maham." he interrupted looking at me with longing and love?
Ya allah what is going on!!
Maham get a grip.
"ugh yeah that only. I wanted to talk about it. Now please don't interrupt me. Let me finish." I said and looked at him. He nodded so I continued.
"Look I know you are truly a great person but please if you are doing this for not disrespecting our elders or for any other reason then I request you not to. I have always seen you as a brother. And I always saw the same care and affection in your actions towards me. So I know you don't have any such feelings for me. You don't need to be the bad one okay. I will talk to everyone. I will say no."I completed and looked at him to see his amused face. Seriously isn't he getting too much amused today? I waited for some time but he just kept looking at me with amusement and what not.
" Arsalan bhai I - "
" Don't. "he said cutting me off.
" what don't? "I was confused. Oh is he saying not to talk to elders.?
" See I can't just sacrifice my whole life. They are our elders. They will understand. Maybe first they will get angry but they will eventually understand. "I quickly added before he tries to talk me into his sacrificial talks.
He is still silent. Uh come on why is he silent now.
" Bhai say-"
" Don't call me bhai Maham. I am warning you " he said and my mouth hung open. Is this guy serious?!wait what does that mean?
"huh?" I could just utter that.
"Darling I have already tolerated this bhai word for quite a long time. Now I can't. Next time you do that I will make sure to tell you who I am to you in my own way. About talking to our elders and saying no, then baby doll, you won't do anything like that, understood? Now coming to my feelings, well how do you know what kind of feelings I have for you? Trust me you don't. "saying this he got up and leaned towards me, pecked my forehead saying" now be a good girl my bride. " he left leaving me a shocked mess. What was that? I placed my one hand over my heart. It was thumping so fast. I placed another hand on my forehead and a smile made it's way to my face.
.......
Now here I am sitting in my husband's room on his bed with a veil over my face waiting for him. To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I am literally freaking out. He has been making advances towards me since the talk we had on terrace.
I gave my positive answer to my mom which was just a formality because they had already started preparations. And now I am a married girl. Well the best thing about all this is that I just had to shift from one room to another. I don't have to leave my family.
I heard voices from outside the door. I am sure our cousins are stopping him from entering the room. I calmed myself down and drank water placed on the side table. And quickly sat down on the edge of the bed as I heard door opening sound. I didn't look up but I could sense him coming closer to me.
He came and sat down on his knees in front of me, took my hands and kissed my knuckles making me smile.
"relax. I am the same person with whom you used to fight daily. From whom you demanded chocolates, ice-creams, and what not. I would not hurt you. I promise, okay? Trust me." he said looking into my eyes caressing my knuckles with his thumbs. I could actually see the same affection and care in his eyes with extra intensity and extra emotions.
" Why couldn't I see these emotions in your eyes before? "I blurted out. Way to embarrass yourself Maham. I quickly looked down at our hands.
He put a finger on my chin making me look at him.
" You don't have to be embarrassed while talking to me about anything meri jaan. We are husband wife. We will share everything with each other. And about your question, it's because I never showed them." he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I didn't want to affect your life because of my feelings. I wanted you to live your life to the fullest without any kind of pressure." saying he kissed my knuckles again.
I nodded. I am getting relaxed talking to him. So I asked him to sit up on bed which he gladly did. We talked about some other things about how much he gave our cousins to enter his own room, and about our wedding functions. After sometime, he got up and went to the wardrobe. Taking something out of it he came back.
He gave it to me. "Your wedding gift."
I quickly took it and opened it to see the same anklets which I saw the other day we went shopping for our wedding. But I couldn't buy them. We were about to exit from the jewellery shop after taking my jewellery when I saw them. I immediately fell in love with them and kept looking at them. But when I turned to tell ammi to buy me those I saw they were already entering into another shop. I went to ammi and told her about those anklets to which she replied we will go after this store. But when we went back to buy them they were already sold. I was so sad about it. I even shed a few tears. My ammi asked me to choose another anklets but I couldn't remove that image from my eyes.
Now seeing them I squealed. "I saw you looking at them. So I bought it." he said and I hugged him saying "Thank-you so much Arsalan bhai." I moved back quickly as I heard him groan.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I told you not to call me bhai. Woman you have no idea what ideas I get about you." he said through gritted teeth.
I sheepishly looked at him. I tried not to call him bhai but now in excitement I just forgot.
"Sorry." I said. He ignored and took the anklets and sat down on his knees. Taking my legs on his thigh one by one, he made me wear them. They were looking so beautiful. He kept looking at my legs. "So beautiful." he said kissing my ankle. I shivered. He pushed my lehenga upwards and pressed few kisses on my leg. I just clutched the bedsheets tightly closing my eyes. I felt him moving away so I opened my eyes to see him taking a deep breath. He stood up and forwarded his hand to me which I took. He made me stand up and hugged me tightly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him after a few seconds. He broke the hug and kissed my forehead. "Go change and make wudu. We need to pray." I nodded.
YOU ARE READING
That's Just How Life Goes!!
General FictionHaving the perfect life broken in a moment is not an easy thing to face. Surely,it was not easy for Maham too. She has had perfect set of parents, brother who loves her , cousins who adore her, dadi's Jaan , tayi ammi and Taya Abba ki khushi . She w...