That's Just How Life Goes!!

Chapter 10

I passed him a glass of water and sat on the opposite couch. It's awkward. I am more surprised on myself. I didn't react the way I thought I would. I was just shocked and surprised. My heart didn't betray me. Surely I felt something, just a little, but it's just a disappointment . Disappointment for what we could have been but we are not. I looked at him who was looking down since he came inside. I sighed.
"How are you?" he asked suddenly with a heavy voice.
"Alhamdulillah I am good. How are you?" I replied and asked politely.
"Miserable without you." he replied with a wet voice. I was taken aback by his tone which indicated he is on the verge of crying.
"How's everyone there?" I asked trying to change the topic.
"There?" he asked looking up for the first time since he entered.
"I mean in India." I clarified. Where else would I ask?
He chuckled bitterly.
"Aren't you supposed to say 'how's everyone at" home" '? "he said finger quoting the word home.
" How are they? "I asked again. He kept looking at me for a while making me uncomfortable.
" You have surely moved on, haven't you? "he said. I looked up and started.
" Arsalan, I am sorry if I have hurt you but I was in no condition to accept your wishes. Also I was immature. I acted rashly by running away from everyone but that's what I thought was right at that time. I am sorry. "I apologized sincerely. No matter what, he had the right to see his children. Whatever happened was between us.
" Don't make me feel more guilty, damn it. "he shouted banging the table and the glass shook falling down.
" Arsalan what are you doing? Kids live here. They will get hurt. "I shouted quickly bringing the mop to clean the glass pieces.
" Where are they? "I heard him ask. My hands stopped working . Is he going to take them away from me now? Or is he going to force me to go back again? I won't let that happen. I cleaned up the floor and stood in front of him.
" They are not here. "
" Then where are they? "he asked.
" Mamma " before I could reply we heard kids voice.
" Mamma come outside. See what dadda got for us. "I looked at Arsalan and he looked stunned.
" Arsalan they are kids. Please don't do anything to confuse them. "I requested.
Kids kept shouting so I went in the garden with Arsalan following me. I looked at them who were sitting in a toy car and driving in the garden. As soon as they saw me they waved at me and I smiled at them.
" Mamma. See now I can also take you, Hani, gul jaani anywhere just like dadda." Zayan said excitedly.
"No I will take everyone." Hania said.
"No I will." and their fight started.
Zayn walked towards them
"One day you will take us and the next day you will. Okay?" Zayn said pointing at them simultaneously. And they nodded.
"Maham come out beta. Sit with me." I heard khala ammi say. I was about to go but remembered who I was just talking to. I turned around to see him looking at kids with tears in his eyes from the adjoining window.
"Arsalan. Do you want to meet them?" I asked cautiously. I can't keep him away from them. He looked at me with emotions in his eyes but surprisingly I couldn't figure them out. Maybe because we didn't meet for such a long time. Maybe because we were separated for more time than we were together. We were together only for 1 year and couple of months. Before that I didn't really think about him more than cousin. And honestly in these 4 years also I didn't think about him much. Maybe because I was busy with kids.
He was still looking at me with tears. I sighed and gestured him to come inside. He is not in a condition to meet kids.
"I am sorry. I understand now what you must have felt like when I decided to marry Zoya." I cringed at her name. Not because I hate her or something but because her name makes me remember everything I had to go through all those months because my husband was busy taking care of her. I nearly lost my babies.
" I saw Zayn with you and kids the other day at beach. That's when I realized what it feels to see the one you love with someone else. To see that someone is taking your place in your loved ones life. I am sorry."
I kept quiet because I didn't feel the need to explain my relationship with Zayn. I didn't even care if he thinks wrong about my relationship with Zayn. I don't know if I am being too harsh on him or if my heart has turned stone. But no my heart is fine because I do feel bad to see him this way, defeated and remorseful. I think I just moved on. Alhamdulillah.
"I will come later." he got up as soon as we heard footsteps entering inside the house.
.............

"Where are they?" he asked.
"They are upstairs. I will get them. You please sit." I said.
"Slow down kids." I shouted. As soon as I said there's someone downstairs they shouted Dadda excitedly and started running down the stairs.
"Where's dadda?" Hania asked looking around.
"Hani he must be outside as usual." Zayan said and before they could run I quickly caught them in my arms crouching down . They started wiggling "mamma I want to meet dadda. Leave me."
"mamma leave."
"okay I will leave. But you won't run away and listen to me first." I said. They nodded but I know they will do exactly that once I loosen my hold.
"Dadda promise?" I asked.
"mamma" they whined but then promised.
I took their hands and got up to see Arsalan looking at all 3 of us longingly. I walked towards him along with kids.
"Mamma who is he?" Hania the curious cat asked.
Before I could reply Zayan started
"Assalamualaikum Uncle. My name is Zayan. How are you doing?" I looked at him repeating exactly how Zayn has taught him to speak when guests come home. He says he will protect us in absence of his dadda. I smiled.
"Walykumassalam. Nice name Zayan. Alhamdulillah I am good. How are you?" Arsalan said in amused tone.
"Alhamdulillah." Zayan replied. I signalled Hani to say Salam.
"Assalamualaikum.I am Hania."
"Walykumassalam princess." Arsalan said.
Hania scrunched her nose. "I am only my dadda's princess."
I saw how Arsalan's face fell.
"Let's sit down." I suggested and walked towards the couch.
Arsalan passed them gifts. They looked at me. I nodded and then they excitedly took the gifts.
"Princess. Buddy." Zayn shouted from the door and kids left the gifts and ran to the door. I shook my head and looked at Arsalan who was looking at the gifts and the place where kids ran.
"I uhh. They are close to him." I said to comfort him but maybe it triggered something in him. He looked at me with a determined look.
"soon they will be close to me. I am their father." he said in a raised voice.
I looked at him baffled.
"What are you planning to do?" I asked a bit apprehensive.
"I want my family back." I looked at him shocked.
"W-what family?" I asked skeptically. I am not liking where this is going.
"You, them. You guys are mine. My family. How dare he have you." he said.
"Why didn't you think of YOUR FAMILY while choosing someone else over them.?" I said finger quoting your family. He looked at me sadly.
"I never chose anyone over you Mahi. I didn't. I never wanted to leave you. I -" I cut him off "Yeah you just wanted to help. Even if it meant hurting your pregnant wife whom you claimed to love." He looked defeated.
"Please give me one chance Mahi. I promise to -" I cut him off again.
"For Allah's sake don't make promises. Your one promise already took almost everything from me." I sneered.
He was tongue tied now. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.
"Look Arsalan. Whatever happened, just forget it. No one can change anything now. I don't blame you now. I understand but still I can't accept it. I don't have any problem with you being in kids lives. But don't expect a family here. I am sorry but I can't. I am content with what I have. "I tried to keep my points.
" NO. You are my wife. I love you. I want my whole family. "he retorted.
" Arsalan look this can't happen. I am sorry. "I said trying to leave but he held my hand. I jerked his hand away.
" I will divorce her. Then you don't have any problem, right? "I looked at him shocked.
" Are you in your senses? "I asked.
" I am. Trust me I will divorce her. Then you will come with me na. Then there is no problem between us. I-"he was saying.
" Arsalan. We will talk later. You should go now. "I said and left before he could say anything.