That's Just How Life Goes!!

Chapter 19

Maham's POV

I am still surprised with what happened in just 2 days.
I got divorced today morning. And I don't understand how to react.
I felt wetness on my cheeks and realised I was crying. I am actually feeling like a weight has been lifted off my heart but then why these tears.
I started contemplating my life till now. I was a lucky child. I had everything a child could ever want. Best parents, a brother who fought with me yet stood up for me against anyone else who hurt me, grandmother who favoured me more than others, uncle and aunt who adored me and finally cousin Arsalan who at that time was the perfect elder cousin anyone could wish for.
I remember how our house used to be. It was such a happy family. Our house used to be filled with funny banters , laughter , mamma and tayi ammi scoldings, father's loving gestures. Everything was just perfect.
Then I got married to that perfect cousin who again was a perfect husband I could wish for. At first I was satisfied with the fact that atleast I don't have to leave my family. I accepted him as my husband, fell in love with him, gave myself to him, got pampered by him when I got pregnant . And then everything changed. My whole life just started slipping from my hands like sand and I could do nothing. Is it me who destroyed our happy family? Is it me who is the reason behind this shattered family? Is it because of me?
No it is not me. I clearly told him I can't accept a second wife. He still went ahead and got married. The worst fact is that it all happened while I was pregnant. Did I make a mistake for leaving everyone and keeping them away from children? Yes. Arsalan was their father no matter what. But then again, I didn't plan on doing that to him. I just didn't want to be with him anymore. I didn't want to be one of his wife or first wife. I wanted to be his only wife. I wanted him to be only mine no matter the circumstances. Was that wrong of me to want that? No absolutely no. He was forcing me to accept his second wife and live with her. That I couldn't do. I have never personally seen such situation . No one from my family or friend's family or any acquaintance has had two wives. So the idea even was not acceptable for me. And I know I could have never lived like that. It would have eventually destroyed the family anyway.

So am I at fault for not supporting my husband in his second marriage?
No . Allah did give wife the option to decide for themselves.

Do I regret my life that I have made for myself and my children now?
No. I do wish for my family to be a part of my life all these years. I do wish Arsalan could have been a part of children's life but I would never want to go back to the past.

I am really happy and satisfied with my life now. Even more so with my family with me now.

I am crying for the lost family. These tears are for the happy and perfect home which got destroyed by fate.
I am crying for the lost years with my family.

....,....,

After 6 months

" Maham, I know you ahh don't have such thoughts. .....I mean I do know that it's not what you thought about ...like ever.umm But it would be really nice if you agree. I will make sure you don't regret that. " Zayn started saying gibberish after sitting silently for past 20 minutes. He was dragged by children and they were compelling him to talk something to me. But he seems to be really nervous. I mentally laughed. It must be some demand from the children or some mischief they did which they think I won't agree for so they brought their dadda .
" Zayn just tell me what do these little monsters want now ? " I said folding my hands and looking at him.
He squirmed in his seat.
" Umm they .. they just want to go to Disneyland" he breathed.
" Yeah right they just want to go there. Please agree. " He said pleading at the end. Taya abbu and tayi ammi got up shaking their heads. Children got disappointed as well. I frowned. What's going on?
" Umm is this really what you wanted to talk about? " I asked Zayn.
He nodded.
I nodded and said " alright we can do that. I have leave next week. Can you adjust your leaves at that time? "
" Yes ofcourse. " He said and immediately got up and left with children and tayi ammi following him.

Taya abbu kept looking at me intently
. He came and beside me.
After everything that happened few months ago, Taya abbu and tayi ammi decided to stay here with me . Ammi and abbu had to be with my brother too. They had newborn to look after. So they couldn't leave them and come.
Arsalan has not visited ever since. And no one has even told me anything about him.

" Beta , don't think I am or let's say we are forcing you but we really think you should think about yourself. "  He said and I looked on confused.
"  You have gone through alot and you rose up like a pheonix. We all are so so proud of you Mera baccha. I will just tell you our wish. By OUR I mean me alongwith your tayi ammi, your parents, your brother and the most excited your children. We want you to marry Zayn."
I gasped.
"Taya abbu, there's nothing like that between me and Zayn. Trust me. I really -" he interrupted side hugging me
" I know I know . We all know you and now we know Zayn as well. We know you both and love you so much and that's exactly why we want you both to get your share of happiness after going through so much. We are in no way forcing you. We just want to put forth our opinion. And I didn't want to be the one to tell you this but I don't think Zayn is capable of doing that." He chuckled at the last sentence.
" He loves you beta. He never wished for anything apart from being with you and the kids . But he does love you. And he loves the kids even more. I am telling you because I want you to know everything to take the best decision for yourself. "
I gulped with all the things I got to know just now.
I don't know why I am not that shocked knowing Zayn's feelings.
I mean he never did anything for me to think that but why do I feel that it's not shocking.

Ya Allah!

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