That's Just How Life Goes!!

Chapter 5

It's been 3 months since I am here at my ammi's friend's house. She lives with her son, his wife and their son.
They are really nice people. I feel good being here away from all the chaos. But this pain just doesn't go away. I have to be strong. What if I don't have my husband with me? Like he said there are many others who love me. These 3 months have proved to be beneficial. I was just thinking of Arslan. Like he said I have many people who are ready to take care of me so I should think about them rather than someone who ditched his own wife and children for someone else. It's really difficult when I think about him but I have somehow managed to not be locked in the room. It's 10 days since I have started coming out of the shell of my room and it felt better. But whenever I see  Ashar bhai playing with baby Zain, I feel someone squeeze my heart. My babies will not be able to have that kind of love. Their father's love. I am sorry babies. I felt someone wiping my cheeks. I looked beside me to see Amina khala, my mother's friend. She put my head on her chest and started caressing my hair. "Life doesn't always give you what you want in fact you should learn to appreciate what it gives you. It can't be other way round. Be strong. Your babies need you. Your parents, brother they need you." she said. I just cried silently on her chest. She feels just like my ammi.
......
I decided to call Ali . I have not talked to him at all. I just receive baba's call and say a few words to him. I have talked to ammi but only 3 to 4 times maybe. It was ringing but he declined the call. I frowned. I thought he would be excited to talk to me. My phone rang just a few seconds later making my frown turn into smile. I accepted his video call request and talked to him for a while. But then I saw something that made my breathing rugged. I felt suffocated. Here I am crying day and night for this man but he is smiling at another woman. I couldn't breathe. Ali shouted "APPI APPI. what happened appi? Are you Fine?" he was panicking but my eyes were just focused on that person who was now making his way towards Ali . Maybe after hearing Ali call me.
"Maham how are you? What's happening? Are you Fine?" he kept asking. I just couldn't take it anymore. Phone dropped from my hand. And I started sweating. I heard Amina khala and Rukhsar bhabi running towards me. Everything went blur. I didn't know how they took me to the hospital.
......

I cursed myself when ammi told me how I almost lost my and my babies'lives. How could I let that man affect me so much just by his mere presence.?how could I put my babies in danger for him? She told me everyone is outside. Is he also here? Ofcourse I won't ask her that. I denied meeting anyone. And because my health was very bad, even doctors didn't allow anyone in. I strictly said only ammi. I didn't know why but I just wanted to be with my ammi right now. We stayed like that for a while talking about my childhood and other things. I know she is trying to distract my mind. After sometime Ammi went to pray. I heard some noise from outside the door so I got up slowly. I heard Ali and Arsalan fighting.
"She is my wife." arsalan said.
"Your wife is at your house. The girl inside this room is my sister. She is not your wife." I heard Ali say. Something broke in me when I heard him say that but I composed myself.
"She is my wife even if you accept it or not. And I will take her home with me where she belongs." Arsalan said.
"Oh please stop acting as if you care for her. She is in this condition just because of you. And yeah about being wife she already gave you signed divorce papers. Just fucking sign them and let her live peacefully." Ali said.
"Are you mad? I would never divorce her. She is going with me no matter what. I am still her husband. " Arsalan said.
No way. I am not going anywhere with him. I don't know what to do now. He won't divorce me. He still has rights over me. Allah please I can't stay there in the same house looking at him take care of another woman. No I can't.
I heard the door opening sound. I turned and saw Arsalan standing there.
"Mahi, baby, listen to me please." he said coming forward. I moved back. A look of hurt took over his face.
"Mahi please. Let me take care of you and our babies." he said. I scoffed.
"Don't you have another woman to take care of.? As you said I have my whole family to worry about me. It won't matter if one person like you is not in that list." I said.
"Don't say that. How can I not worry about you? You are my wife. You are carrying my babies. I love you Mahi." he said.
"Well since you have another w-w-wife and child to look after, you don't have to think about us. We are fine." I said. Only I know how I said his wife. But I need to accept the reality. And I am getting there.
"Mahi they are my responsibility but you are my life.  I love you so much Mahi. . I can't live without you. Please come home with me." he pleaded.
"Will you divorce her and throw her out of that house?" I asked even though I know the answer. If he actually cared enough we wouldn't be in this situation.
"Mahi please. They are my responsibility." he said helplessly.
"Just sign the papers and end this drama already. I really can't take it anymore. I can't keep hurting my babies for you." I said sighing giving up. I went and sat on the bed as I started feeling tired. He came and sat on his knees in front of me "please Mahi. Try to understand my situation. I just want to give best to you and our children. Please give me that chance." he said holding my hands. I am getting irritated now. I clearly gave him a chance again but he still chose them. What else does he want me to do? I snatched my hands away roughly and said" I can take care of my babies. "
" Maham these are my children too. You need to understand that. "he said getting worked up. I can see the vein on his forehead popping out.
" Yeah right still you chose someone else over them. "I replied sarcastically.
" I didn't chose anyone. I never had any intention to leave you. I wanted to be there with you but you decided to come here. No one told me where you were. "he sighed and took a deep breath. He raked his hand in his head and again looked at me.
" Listen carefully. I will never divorce you. And if you like it or not I will have my children with me. "he said every word looking deep into my eyes.
" You can't take my children away from me you selfish person. I won't let you. "I shouted encircling my arms on my stomach protectively.
" Mahi I never said I will take them away from you. We will stay together. You, me and our childre-"he was interrupted by his phone's ringtone . He took it out of his pants pocket and because he was standing near me I could see it was flashing Zoya. I chuckled bitterly.
" and Zoya along with her kid. Isn't it? "I said completing his sentence. He looked at me cutting the call. He took steps towards me but I took few back.
" Sorry but that won't happen. "I said.
He looked at me angrily and was about to say something when his phone rang again. He ran his hand on his hair frustrated-ly.
" It will. These are my children. They will be with me no matter what.  "he said and left. Ofcourse to talk to his wife.
I sat on the bed. I can't let him take my children away from me neither can I live with him along with his wife. Allah please help me. What should I do? Allah please help me. Please. I didn't know when I slept thinking about the solution.
....
Today I will be getting discharged from hospital after almost 10 days. These days went in a blur. I just had one thought in my mind about how to keep my children with me. And alhamdulillah I have found a solution. It's a really difficult thing to do. But I have to. These children are my only reason to live. What will I do without them? I have to do this.
............

Arsalan's pov

I was eagerly waiting to meet her. I got ready and was descending the stairs when I saw chacha chachi and Ali entering. I was not there for her again. I was late to go. But I eagerly went in the living room to see Maham but couldn't find her with them.
"Did she reach safely?" mama asked chachi who nodded her head drinking water. I asked them confused but no one paid attention to me. I was getting angry. I roared "she is my wife. I want to know where she is. Tell me or else I will find her on my own."
Chacha stood up and came towards me
And joined his hands in front of me. I quickly took his hands down.
"Please Arsalan let my daughter live. Doctor has said she is very fragile. She can't handle so much. Please let her stay in peace for a while." I was feeling so much guilty towards everyone now. I hung my head low as I couldn't look at him. Abbu came to him and held him.
" I am so sorry My brother. I had proposed this marriage. I destroyed her life. Forgive me. " abbu said to chacha and my heart clenched.
"No Bhaijan you loved her as your own so you wanted her with you. I am her culprit. I couldn't help my daughter." chacha said making me feel more guilty.
I looked around the living room and saw chachi and mama crying sitting on the sofa while Ali was lost in his own thoughts.
What has my house become? It was never gloomy like this. It always held happiness and positivity. And it's all because of me.
"I won't go to her but please tell me how she is." I pleaded.
"She is fine." chachi said and went away followed by everyone else.
Three months passed by but I haven't seen her or talked to her. Mama just tells me she is fine. I am trying to take care of Zoya as no one is there for her. Everyone stays in there room all the time, have their food in their own rooms. Nothing is like before. How could it be when the source of our happiness is not with us. Chacha gave me divorce papers and tried to convince me to sign them but I didn't budge. How can I leave her. She is carrying my children. I love her. I really do but I know I hurt her alot. I can't risk her health right now so I am not trying to go to her. I just want her to be safe and healthy for now. I won't pressurize her.

I was helping Zoya descend the stairs when she told me that she was going to have a baby boy. I smiled at her. But soon it faltered hearing Ali shouting. I saw he was talking to Maham and asked her about her health. I went near to see Maham taking deep breaths and suddenly she collapsed. Oh allah. I am not there with her  when she needs me again. How terrible of a husband and father am I?
......

I talked to Maham about my decision of taking her home but she took me wrong. She thought I am trying to take our babies away from her. I felt so much hurt at that moment. But I tried explaining her. She was behaving stubbornly which was irritating me. She was not even giving me a chance to know my reasons. In the middle of our talk, my phone rang. I took it out to see Zoya. Maham also looked and chuckled bitterly. I cut the call and tried making her understand but Zoya was repeatedly calling me. I told Maham that she was coming with me and that's final. And left to take Zoya's call.
"What else do you want Zoya? Just let me stay with my wife for a while.
" Arsalan baba. Zoya is going in labor. We are taking her to the hospital. "I heard the maid saying.
I pinched the bridge of my nose to control my irritation.
" okay. Take care of her. I am giving her responsibility to you. "and I cut the call.
I know there's no one there for her but now I can't leave Maham. She is my priority now. She has always been. Zoya is just my responsibility. I have already lost a lot of  time of my Maham's and my babies life. I can't miss more. I almost lost them twice. I can't think of anything else now. No matter what.

Next few days when Maham was in the hospital I didn't speak anything about going home. I just wanted her fine. I will take her home after she gets discharged. I tried to take care of her but she just wanted to be with her mother. I didn't want to put her into more stress so I didn't object but made sure I was always there for her when she needed anything. She hasn't talked to me at all. I know it's all my fault. I have neglected her. I should have known that she needed me more than  anyone else. I hurt her the most when she should have been pampered the most. This was a lifetime experience and I ruined it for us.

I will make everything right now. I will ask for her forgiveness, explain her everything and take care of her. I walked towards her room. She is getting discharged today and I have arranged everything to take her home.