FORGOTTEN FIRST LOVE // TAEJIN

5. Regrets and a Slight Effort

A/n: Y'all need to thank Maroon 5 and The Script. They're the sole reason I keep getting inspired to write this fic.

"How do we get into this mess, is it God's test? Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best."

- For the First Time, The Script

5. Regrets and a slight effort

"What the hell was I doing? What was that for?" he kept asking himself.

He knows he has been jaded before but that doesn't give him the right to do Seokjin dirty. The man only loved him, and he is a horrible person to repay that love with hurt. He got up his bed. His head is ticking like a time bomb. Taehyung tried to take deep breaths but as he kept doing so, flashes and snippets of memories comes back to him.

"Ohh, T-tae! Ngh!"

Seokjin is on all fours, with all his clothes intact. Taehyung is pounding inside him mercilessly.

"Y-yoongi! Oh shitt, Yoongi!"

Seokjin sobbed, clawing at the sheets beneath him.

Taehyung wanted to punch himself. That must've been horrible for Seokjin. unknowingly, a tear escaped his eyes. He can vividly remember the pain etched on Seokjin's face when he yelled Yoongi's name. In his head, he kept asking himself why the hell would he date someone when he doesn't even love Jin?

But the question got answered when he remembered something again,

"I will make Seokjin-hyung fall for me." He declared one night when he was drinking with one of his friends. Seo Joon just eyed him as if questioning his every decision and whether he was sure he won't regret whatever the fuck he was doing.

"That is not a good idea, Taehyung. You will only hurt Seokjin."

He grumbled, "I don't care. If Yoongi-hyung finds out I'm dating his best friend, he will come back and realize that he loves me more than he loved that idiot he is with!"

"And what if Seokjin catches feelings for you?"

"Then better, it would be more believable."

Seo Joon shook his head, he greatly disproves of Taehyung's plan, but the other seemed to be so invested in it and no persuading will change his mind.

"Yoongi will hate you more if you hurt his soulmate, Taehyung. This isn't a drama, Yoongi won't come running back to you, he is happily married to Namjoon now ... it's been three years, Taehyung. Just move on."

"Let me. Yoongi loved his best friend more than anything, he will do what I say, just wait and see."

"The day you fall in love with Seokjin is the day I will laugh at your face, asshole."

Then he proceeded in his plan, he got Seokjin easily. He was so happy. He never knew the man in head over heels for him. he fucks good too and his hole feels a hundred times better around his cock at the same time. He is perfect for sex, except that he is not Yoongi. So, no matter how hard he tried, Taehyung never really loved him as deep as he did with Yoongi.

Taehyung got up on his feet and went to the guest room. He needs to apologize to Seokjin and start to be a better man for him. His mind is already made up as he strides to go to the room next door. He stood by the door and he was about to knock when he heard soft sobbing sounds coming from the inside.

His fist formed into a ball. He knew he is the sole reason for him to cry, and he also knows, that somehow, in a very unconventional way, he can be the source of his healing too. So, he went inside the room without Seokjin noticing. From the door, he can see Seokjin's back trembling and face burrowed on a pillow to hush his loud cries. His fists were gripping the sheets tightly it would break.

He slowly gets into the bed and wrapped his arms around Seokjin. These days, the elder's cuddles gave Taehyung lots and lots of comfort, so he hopes it does the same for the older too. Seokjin's back tensed and he quickly faced Taehyung. His heart broke once more seeing how read and swollen the elder's eyes were. He can barely open them at how swollen they were.

"Taehyung, did I wake you up? I'm sorry. I should've –"

"Shh, I'm okay. I just heard you crying. Is everything okay?" he asked. Silently praying that Seokjin will tell him what is on his mind without holding back.

But Seokjin being Seokjin, he shook his head and mumbled that he is okay, and he just had a bad day, and it's nothing Taehyung should be worrying about.

"But I do worry, Jin-hyung." He said, "I'm sorry I can't make you feel better."

He then gathered the elder in his arms placing his head in his chest and tapping it as if lulling a baby to sleep. A shaky breath was drawn out of Seokjin. Taehyung waited, and waited for him to wrap his arms around him too, but it didn't come. He automatically assumed that he imposed that rule again. Or worse, he didn't even cuddle Seokjin to sleep.

"I'm sorry hyung." He whispered.

Seokjin just shook his head saying no.

"No, hyung I am really sorry. I know I'm a complete asshole to you and –"

Seokjin then fisted on his shirt to stop him. "Stop," he commanded taking Taehyung aback, "You will regret that when you remember everything. Don't ... just don't please."

"Why?"

Seokjin looked up at him, tears free falling in his eyes.

"I don't want to hope, Taehyung. because if I will be completely honest, you were contemplating whether we should continue this relationship or not before you got into an accident. You are not even sure if you want to be married to me." He sobbed, Taehyung just let him speak, looking in his hurt-filled eyes.

"And if you keep doing these, being nice and acting like you care, it will be harder for me to stay away from you when the day comes that you will remember everything and you will come to realize that I am not the love of your life. It will hurt doubly because I will hope that you are falling for me deeply like I do with you, so please, don't hold me, just let me watch you like before I don't want to keep my hopes up."

Taehyung can feel him shaking. He kept kissing his forehead. Taehyung had never witnessed anyone as devastated as this person caged in his arms, and he despised himself for being the cause of this. He kept saying it repeatedly, but it just seems not enough. He can't believe how horrible he is, and the only thing he has in mind is to ease Seokjin's pain.

And to think that he has the balls to propose to Seokjin and at the same time be the same person who will call off the wedding just sounds so wrong to him. He immediately knew that the 28-year-old Taehyung is a stupid fucker that fucks everything up.

He let Seokjin sleep, an unsung promise etched on Taehyung's mind. Starting tomorrow, he will spoil Seokjin rotten. Words are overrated. He will just show the older that he is changing, and that he cares. If 28-year-old Taehyung failed in his relationship, his new 18-year-old self trapped in this manly body will surely change the game and swore he will make Seokjin happy, and let that smile reach his eyes again.

==

The next day when Seokjin woke up, he is alone in the room, but the smell of coffee and bacon is prominent in his nose. His stomach grumbled. He didn't eat dinner last night and his energy is drained from crying. He can't probably go to work this time, so he called in sick.

After dropping the call, his door opened and Taehyung appeared holding a tray of food with him in all smiles. He remembers what happened last night and he knows he asked Taehyung not to be sweet and all because he will fall and love him deeper, but why is he doing the opposite?

"Taehyung what is this?" he asked, "Why?"

"I just wanted to make you happy, what is so wrong with that?"

Seokjin's heart fluttered.

And then he realized, no matter how painful it is to love Taehyung, rare moments like this with him makes him fall even deeper.