My Weakness | Tom Felton

Turning Wild

What's your biggest fear? What's your weakness?

Mine isn't heights, or spiders not even dark closed places. My weakness is facing love, relationships. Nothing will break me more than becoming boring and worthless to someone who once saw the moon in my eyes.

Books, music, nature, fashion and movies are my life line giving me good vibes and strong energy wherever I go I feel independent and sure of my self in front of people . But I am typical teenager I am insecure and I don't feel good about myself so nothing  special about me. 

My dream was turning 18 to be legal to feel my self more, drive my car and of course to be a senior . But life surprises you with a slap and it will wake you up from your dreams to know when your older you will succeed from finishing all the bad problems and welcome! you are now officially in your worst part in your life ta da . I had a rare disease . I knew that the day after when I turned 18 . I saw balloons all in my neck and some of them in my body I went to a doctor who told me about it . My lymph nodes that were popped up killing me more and more. There was some medicines but I was tired exhausted and my heart hurt me so much as my body did to.

 Although I was crying in a crazy way at first but I couldn't accept the disease to kill me more I will try to kill it by forgetting its in me in my cells in my veins I just live with it as nothing is happening maybe I get sick but I will get used to it .  

I have problems that makes me feel sick more than my disease anyway.

I have a big problem with my family. I can't communicate with them they don't even look at me they are stuck with there phones. Every day they come up with a problem then they throw the blame on me. I always feel that I am not there child but isn't it what all teenager come thru?

My friends are a total mood. Once they are great with me..but tomorrow they will be acting like strangers. I don't even have many friends trust issues and anxiety kicks me out of my body.

My future depends on a big decision, an airplane and a mind inside a hard worker's skull. And I'll try my best to keep taking care of this mind.

I don't usually receive love from people, but when I do I'll have a hard time dealing with it. Since I don't believe what people say.. I only believe in actions first. So it's better to ignore my stupid heart now and to focus on keeping every thing safe.

Maybe I act like a toxic person sometimes but its better for me to stay away from people that I'll fall in love with, because I am no good for entering a pure heart. But at the same time I keep my distance because I am sensitive and I don't want to have more heart problems.

Unfortunately I can see myself suffering alone at the end of the road. Maybe I'll fight and win or not. But I entered to many hard exams in those 18 years I was hurting more every year and I made it on my own. I hope my soul will get stronger and I'll see the real light.