HEAL

13 -- NOT THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE

Larry had, at last, completed his out patient therapy.  Maddie had given him the all clear to carry on with his life as normal, whatever his new normal was.  She had made it clear to him that her door was always open, and that he was always welcome to come and have a chat with her, for whatever reason.  She adored him, and Larry had grown a little soft spot somewhere in his chest for her too. 

Marcus, however, was a different kettle of fish, as far as Larry was concerned.  He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was about Marcus that bothered him so much.  At first, he was nice enough, helpful, kind even, but there was, Larry thought, no FELT, an underlying darkness, not evil as such but something shifty, something sly.  And it worried him because while he was happy that his therapy was done, he could comeback once or twice a month if either he or Laurent thought it was warranted, Maddie would now have to tell Laurent he was done.  And then Marcus would be in his life on a more regular, and much more personal basis.  

Marcus and Laurent were "friends",  they had both gone out of their way to tell him.  Only because in all good conscience, and for Marcus' professional sake, Laurent wouldn't let it go any further.  Yet.  But he wanted it to.  Laurent seemed to be besotted with Marcus for some reason, and over the last days and weeks, the closer Larry's therapy came to ending, the more antsy he became.  It was like he was a virgin bride who didn't care about the wedding, all he wanted was the wedding night, as if having sex would make their "relationship" complete.  Larry didn't understand his brother's thinking one bit, and HE was the one with the defective brain ?  Laurent had asked Larry if he would be OK with he and Marcus being "involved" once his therapy was over, and he had told him that he was.  And he genuinely was, he didn't care.  Laurent was big enough and ugly enough to look after himself, and Larry wanted him to be happy, whatever shape or form that took.  And it looked like Laurent's immediate happiness took the shape and form of Marcus.  

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The brother's had sat down to talk one night, after spending an amazing day together.  They'd been outside for most of the day, in the warm and glorious sunshine that had warmed both their skin and their soul.  Playing ball, walking in the park, eating waterside at their favourite outdoor cafe'.  They had both returned home tired and happy, so Laurent took the opportunity to sound Larry out.  About their past relationship, and what he could remember.  How he felt about it.  He knew he might be opening up a can of worms, but it had to addressed.  It had to be faced, and he'd put it off long enough.  And he would have to deal with the fallout.  If he wanted any kind of relationship with Marcus, to be able to move forward with his life, and with his heart reasonably intact, he had to get around, over this thing with Larry.  As hard as that might be. 

"Did you have a good day, Lar ?"  They had both showered, ordered some take out, and were waiting on the sofa for the food to arrive, Larry flipping through the T.V. channels to see if there was anything of interest worth watching.  Larry looked up at Laurent suddenly, his face as innocent as the child he could sometimes be, a disarming smile spread across it.

--  shit  --  this was going to be harder than he thought.  Could he actually leave this man behind, evict him and that smile from that place in his heart where he had made himself so at home ?  He had to, Larry didn't think of him in that way anymore.  Put up that wall around his heart, so Larry couldn't get back in, but leave a little door open for Marcus.  For somebody. 

"I had a great day, Lau, did you ?"  He was beaming, and Laurent's heart flipped in his chest.  

"With you bro, always.  Larry, ..... I need to talk with you a second .... "  Larry turned off the T.V., and turned his body to face his brother.