Him | A Kim Namjoon Fanfiction | COMPLETED

Twenty Three

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no.

Positive.

I balanced myself on the edge of the bath, pregnancy test in my shaking hands, hardly believing my eyes. This can't be happening. Fuck. It had been a month since I kicked Namjoon out. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since. Jungkook hadn't heard a thing from him either. And now I'm carrying his child. Oh fuck.

What do I do?

Where do I go from here?

Do I keep it?

Do I tell him?

I was finally starting to feel okay. Like the worst of it was over and like I could finally start to move on. It was like every kind of pain I had ever felt all rolled into one. My parents. Lily. Sam. The rape. Namjoon. Everything. Was I not entitled to move on? Could I not just have this one time where the wound stayed closed?

I ran out of the bathroom and into the living room, grabbing my phone. It rang. And rang. And rang. Until finally;

"Hey Mia! What's up? Are you okay?"

"Jungkook?! I need you over here.. now. Please." I begged, fighting back tears. "It's an emergency." Jungkook had been my rock since everything with Namjoon. He had been there through all the sleepless nights. Sat with me and helped me eat my way through 4 tubs of ice cream in one sitting. He stroked my hair until I finally fell asleep after hours of crying, night after night.

"Coming straight over, my lovely" within 5 seconds he came bounding through the door. "Hey what's up. What's happened?"

I held out the pregnancy test as the tears finally broke free. He rushed over and scooped me up in a hug, before kneeling down in front of me to wipe my tears away.

"What do I do?" I blubbered. My heart couldn't take anymore hurt. I couldn't let Namjoon back in, but I couldn't do this alone. I needed him. And I hated that I did.

"Hey. Look at me. This will either be the greatest thing that's ever happened to you, with or without Namjoon, or it will do you more harm than good. This is a decision you've got to make on your own. I wish there was more I could do to help you, but the only way you're going to be happy is to let you make it yourself." Jungkook held his hand to my cheek and gave me a solemn look. I could almost see his heart breaking for me. "It'll be okay no matter what you decide. You'll always have me, sweetheart."

I don't know what came over me, maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was his words but in the heat of the moment I leant forward gently placed a kiss on his lips. I feared he would pull back but he didn't. Instead he wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me in closer, kissing me harder.

He lifted me up in one swift motion and spun round to sit down on the couch, so that I was straddling him. His lips were soft and warm, with a sweet taste. And his hands were driving me crazy as he traced the outline of my figure with his fingertips. I had begun unbuttoning his shirt when there was a light tapping on the door. I pulled away and sighed, resting my forehead on Jungkooks, hoping that whoever it was would go away. But they knocked again, this time harder. I mouthed an apology in Jungkook's direction as I got up to open the door.

I cracked it open and almost fainted with shock. What was he doing here? After a month? He hadn't called once after that night and now he shows up like it's nothing?

Namjoon gave me a shy smile as I shuffled out into the hallway closing the door behind me. "what are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I-I was just.. I don't know. I've been staying with my mum but I needed to come back for work. I hate how we left things please can we talk?" He pleaded, with his signature puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. You've got 10 seconds." I stared him dead in the eyes as I said it, with as much confidence as I could muster.

"I never kissed her back. I tried to push her off of me as soon as she made a move, Chae was just trying to shit stir. I swear  I wou-"

"6! 5!.."

"I would never have hurt you like that. I love you. I always have and I never stopped."

I stopped my count down, shocked by the sincerity in his voice and the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. I didn't know what to believe anymore. The images of that night had been playing on a loop in my head for the last month. But I never once even considered that the kiss wasn't consentual. How fucking stupid of me. But how do I know he wasn't lying? What if I let him in again and next time he kisses someone else? Or worse? How do I know I'm not gonna get hurt again? Im terrified. But when I look in his eyes I still see that look of complete adoration he always had when he looked at me. I see his remorse, for something that he may well have not even done. And I see him hurting. I see the same hurt I see in my own eyes everytime I look in the mirror.

"Mia-"

"I'm pregnant!"