The Story of Us

Hurt

Arizona 

"calliope.."

Callie

I watch the Blonde doctors blue eyes completely drain of the hope my name gives. In this very moment in time I have a decision to make. Listen to the possible excuses she might give or walk away from the potential hurt and safeguard my heart. Time feels meaningless and the only thing I can hear is my pounding hear beat over the busy drone of the peds floor. 

"walk with me"

Arizona 

I cant see anything passed my tear blurred eyes except for the tan hand that is reaching out to me. I hesitate for a second that feels like a millennium. With the hand lingering out I take it. 

I am pulling out from the peds nurse desk and into a on call room and there in nothing but flat silence but also a sense of calm that surrounds us. 

Callie

As she pulls the door shut behind us all I can only think of about a million things I want to say to her but when My mouth opens everything ceases to come out. 

" I..I....I...I want you to know that I have been hurt before, Like a lot and I don't want you to think that I am some young pathetic loser that doesn't know how to love." 

"well I don't..." I cut the blonde off before she can finish I continue

" I just don't think I can handle being hurt again because i really like you and when I like some one its not just a little bit but with my whole being" 

Arizona

Callie is standing in front of me all but reading me her diary and I have so many thoughts and the I can feel the guilt wash over my body like a tittle wave. I cant believe I stood this amazing women up, I mean I didn't mean too. Why does this always happen.  

"would you like to share any of those thoughts?'' 

I hear Callie ask me a question so I take in a deep breath and answer,

" I like you too. Like really like you." I say with a slight grin

"I know what you think I am going to say. But I promise you I am not here to give you some lame excuse." I take in another Breath and get on with it. 

" I don't usually share my feelings with other people but I am going to tell you what happened tonight because you deserve an answer."

Callie

I know that Arizona is a pretty reserved person and only seems to have a few close friends around the hospital being that she is new. 

" I know I came storming down here demanding an answer but I dont want to force you to tell me anything you don't want to. 

I can see that she is visibly shaking but is breathing slowly to try and have some type of composer. 

"I"

Arizona 

Before she can say anything else I begin shakily

" I lost a patient tonight.'' I pause 

"I know we all lose them because that is part of being a surgeon but he was different. I have been treating him for his whole life, his Birthday was today so we had a small party for him."

I can feel the hot salty tears streaming down my face but I continue,

" and I know this is going to sound stupid but I stayed at the hospital because when I go home I am I know when I am alone I will see them..." 

" The tiny coffins" 

Callie

I am speechless. The women in front of me just disclosed probably one the closet secrets to me and I have nothing to say. 

" I fee like an ass'' I still cant believe I yelled at her

" I want you to know that I am so sorry for that. I should have never assumed I knew what was going on."  The warmth of my tears are streaming down my face and I the feeling of regret sets in. 

Arizona

"I don't want this to be the end. We still have so much to learn about each other. And I want too. I'm not mad at you and I would honestly would have the same feelings if our rolls were reversed."

I hope that this isn't the end of us. If there even was one to begin with. 

Callie 

"how about you finish up what your doing and come over.'' I hope this doesn't scare her off .

I can see her hesitate for a second and then nod her head. I let out sigh and give her a smile. 

" we can order a pizza and watch one of those stupid Disney movies."

she returns the smile and we head both head out the door...